my stag do

[saintkiptanui]

Starts saturday, what is the worst thing that you have heard happen to a stag dooist???

 

I am feeling very anxious and losing sleep.

[saint_ed]

Got killed.

[Johnny Shearer]

I went on a stag do. Took pics of the stag sleeping with hoes and kept them for blackmailing purposes.

[saintkiptanui]

Got killed.

Not too bad, at least I won't suffer a long paralysed illness.

 

and shearer I won't be sh*gging and whores, too classy for that kind of thing.

[Ponty]

The worst thing?

 

Hmmmmm....

 

They got married soon after it.

[saintkiptanui]

marriage ain't gonna change a thing, I don't get blow jobs anymore so that doesn't matter and the backdoor was closed a week after the engagemnet ring went on her finger.

[Junction 9]

Where you off to?

[saintkiptanui]

Where you off to?

Pastyland.

 

I'm gonna scoff a dozen.

 

St Ives, have a house on a cliff at carbis bay with steps down to our private beach which is pointless as i expect it to rain but we have a bagfull of ectoiders, after next week I am an adult and never doing naughty things again.

[J Bizzle]

A) Can I come?

B) If you say no i'm guna go **** your missus.

[Junction 9]

Have a good time.

 

When I was best man I injected the groom with massive amounts of acid on his stag weekend. We all then watched him descend into a pit of total despair which lasted for 19 days. 17 of those were spent screaming in terror.

 

It was so funny.

[saintkiptanui]

A) Can I come?

B) If you say no i'm guna go **** your missus.

No

 

Only if you have a small peni, she's very little and I don't want her ruined.

[Johnny Shearer]

Not too bad, at least I won't suffer a long paralysed illness.

 

and shearer I won't be sh*gging and whores, too classy for that kind of thing.

 

Classy? More like cheap and crassy. :bear:

[saintkiptanui]

Have a good time.

 

When I was best man I injected the groom with massive amounts of acid on his stag weekend. We all then watched him descend into a pit of total despair which lasted for 19 days. 17 of those were spent screaming in terror.

 

It was so funny.

don't even joke about such things junction.

[Junction 9]

don't even joke about such things junction.

 

Sorry, you'll be fine. Just watch those granite steps.

[saintkiptanui]

Those steps are very dangerous, sheer drop from garden to bottom of cliff, so many things could go wrong.

[Junction 9]

Those steps are very dangerous, sheer drop from garden to bottom of cliff, so many things could go wrong.

 

Get a baby gate and padlock it before the ectoids kick in.

[saintkiptanui]

Get a baby gate and padlock it before the ectoids kick in.

good idea.

[Kadeem Hardison]

Make sure you take the ectoids in time to come up for X Factor.

[saintkiptanui]

sky plussed it. I may keep one for when I get home to watch it with.

[Junction 9]

I always do a toot of poppers 10 seconds before Cowell gives his verdict.

[saintkiptanui]

I always do a toot of poppers 10 seconds before Cowell gives his verdict.

:smt042

[Blanco Saint]

Try 'K' swimming if the surf is up?:smt038

[Dog]

Kip, go and watch 'Very bad things' on dvd, it's all about a group of lads on a stag do.

 

P.S. Have a good time.

[Dog]

marriage ain't gonna change a thing, I don't get blow jobs anymore so that doesn't matter and the backdoor was closed a week after the engagemnet ring went on her finger.

 

That reminds me of the lyrics of that new Nickelback track.

 

Can you fit this into your wedding speech?

[saintkiptanui]

Kip, go and watch 'Very bad things' on dvd, it's all about a group of lads on a stag do.

 

P.S. Have a good time.

Thanks dog.

 

I've seen it, a murder and a few dead friends, it's not so bad.8-[

[scott_saints]

Am I invited??

[Dog]

A good friend of mine went on a stag do in Kernow. The groom and best man were handcuffed to the harbour chains after a heavy session on the drink. In the morning when they eventually found them face down in the sea, they had been gang raped and both have had their throats slit before being tossed for crab bait.

[saint_stevo]

as i am your favourite TMS user i am surprised i am yet to receive an invite

[ericofarabia]

Starts saturday, what is the worst thing that you have heard happen to a stag dooist???

 

I am feeling very anxious and losing sleep.

 

The male tit wobblist didn't turn up

[Scudamore]

Pastyland.

 

I'm gonna scoff a dozen.

 

St Ives, have a house on a cliff at carbis bay with steps down to our private beach which is pointless as i expect it to rain but we have a bagfull of ectoiders, after next week I am an adult and never doing naughty things again.

 

botter

[dubai_phil]

Starts saturday, what is the worst thing that you have heard happen to a stag dooist???

 

I am feeling very anxious and losing sleep.

 

A Danish mate and the lads, got the stag mortalled, slipped him a mickey, put him on an express train in Copenhagen with no money and an ID card around his neck.

 

The stag woke up in Milan Railway Station at 10:00am on the morning of the wedding with no money and no credit cards. The wedding was at 13:00 in a small town 2 hours drive from Copenhagen.

 

Suffice to say...........

[Hatch]

This could happen....

 

 

I must add that this is not me, but this happened to me. I had to wear a leopardskin bikini all day. Out in the bars, shopping, at the water park, everywhere....

[dubai_phil]

This could happen....

 

 

I must add that this is not me, but this happened to me. I had to wear a leopardskin bikini all day. Out in the bars, shopping, at the water park, everywhere....

 

I'd rather wake up in Milan TBH

[Scudamore]

A Danish mate and the lads, got the stag mortalled, slipped him a mickey, put him on an express train in Copenhagen with no money and an ID card around his neck.

 

The stag woke up in Milan Railway Station at 10:00am on the morning of the wedding with no money and no credit cards. The wedding was at 13:00 in a small town 2 hours drive from Copenhagen.

 

Suffice to say...........

 

But...that's not funny...

 

Some people are utter mongs...

 

The point of the stag do is to make sure the stag enjoys his night out...

[saints_is_the_south]

My boss ended up getting stripped b*llock naked, tied to a lampost & having a cucumber shoved up his arse! Funniest thing was the police driving past, stopping & just saying, "stag do lads?" to which the answer was ofcourse yes so they just drove off!

[Scudamore]

My boss ended up getting stripped b*llock naked, tied to a lampost & having a cucumber shoved up his arse! Funniest thing was the police driving past, stopping & just saying, "stag do lads?" to which the answer was ofcourse yes so they just drove off!

 

Once again...not actually funny...slightly gay though...

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

I will slit throats if people try to screw me over on my stag do

[Guest Dark Sotonic Mills]

I will slit throats if people try to screw me over on my stag do

 

Not if they lock you in the boot of a car and push it over Beachy Head.

[Scudamore]

My brother went to one where the stag was given a costume...one item of which was a fake beard...it later transpired that the fake beard consisted of pubic hair cut from all the people there...

 

Now that is funny...and not gay...

 

F::cking cucumber up the arse indeed...

[bungle]

I can confirm that I have not been invited on Kips stag do, but I have been invited on his honeymoon.

[Scudamore]

I can confirm that I have not been invited on Kips stag do, but I have been invited on his honeymoon.

 

Fluffer?

[CabbageFace]

I went to a stag do once where all this made up sh1t happened and in reality nothing happened other than me trying to look crazy on the internet.

[scott_saints]

I've have never been to a stag do.

[dubai_phil]

But...that's not funny...

 

Some people are utter mongs...

 

The point of the stag do is to make sure the stag enjoys his night out...

 

Could argue that waking up anywhere EXCEPT Denmark is fun

[Scudamore]

Could argue that waking up anywhere EXCEPT Denmark is fun

 

Well that's a fair point...i do like Lurpak butter though...

 

And to be fair the bloke should have known better than to have the stag do the day before the wedding...

[Guest Dark Sotonic Mills]

Could argue that waking up anywhere EXCEPT Denmark is fun

 

I had a brilliant weekend in Denmark. Admittedly it was when they won the European Championship and all the stunning blonde ladies were going around the main square in Copenhagen kissing everyone. Oh and Tuborg were giving away free beer.

[dubai_phil]

I had a brilliant weekend in Denmark. Admittedly it was when they won the European Championship and all the stunning blonde ladies were going around the main square in Copenhagen kissing everyone. Oh and Tuborg were giving away free beer.

 

Fookin hate Copenhagen.

 

Caught a bloke walking out of the hotel I was in with my laptop he had just smashed my hotel room door to nick.

 

Then some while he was being nicked, some **** came up behind me with a knife, slashed the strap on my Cannon camera and ran off with it in front of the cops.

 

bstds

[Guest Dark Sotonic Mills]

Fookin hate Copenhagen.

 

Caught a bloke walking out of the hotel I was in with my laptop he had just smashed my hotel room door to nick.

 

Then some while he was being nicked, some **** came up behind me with a knife, slashed the strap on my Cannon camera and ran off with it in front of the cops.

 

bstds

 

 

That would tend to make you a little jaundiced about a nation to be fair. Same reason I hate Irish-Americans after they tried to blow me and my group up in a hotel in Boston.

[CabbageFace]

A Danish mate and the lads, got the stag mortalled, slipped him a mickey, put him on an express train in Copenhagen with no money and an ID card around his neck.

 

The stag woke up in Milan Railway Station at 10:00am on the morning of the wedding with no money and no credit cards. The wedding was at 13:00 in a small town 2 hours drive from Copenhagen.

 

Suffice to say...........

 

Im sure i have heard this story from about 25 different people.

[Scudamore]

Im sure i have heard this story from about 25 different people.

 

Nah. It's a storyline from Eastenders that they've recycled 24 times

 

Get's better everytime...