Stephen Fry's speech at Strauss' dinner at Lord's last week Part 2

[John B]

In the forty-five years that I have followed cricket, I have seen it threatened from all sides by the horrors of modern life. The game has been an old-fashioned blushing maiden laid siege by coarse and vulgar suitors. A courtship pattern of defence, acceptance, capitulation and finally absorption has followed. When I started watching, A. R. Lewis played for and captained England as an amateur. The game could never recover surely, from being forced, against the will of many of those who ran this place, being forced to become solely a professional sport? I am just old enough to remember too the Basil D'Oliveira affair in all its unsavoury nastiness: the filth of racism and international politics was beginning to stain the pure white of the flannels. The one-day-game appeared, shyly at first. The balance of bat and ball, essential for cricket to make any sense as a sporting spectacle, became threatened, everyone agreed, by the covering of wickets which would privilege batsman, and then that necessary equipoise was threatened the other way by the arrival of extreme pace and the pitiless bouncer.

 

 

 

The look and style of cricketers was apparently forever compromised by helmets and elastic waisted trouserings hideous to behold. Cane and canvas pads were replaced by wipe clean nylon fastened by Velcro. Kerry Packer arrived and sowed his own blend of discord. The continuing rise and mutation of one day cricket caused panic from Windermere to Woking as white balls and coloured pyjamas threatened the sanity of Telegraph readers everywhere. Rogue South African tours caused alarm and frenzy. Pitch invasions marked an end of the days when schoolboys could lie on their tummies by the boundary-rope filling in a green scoring book, until they got bored which they inevitably did, all except the speccy swatty ones who were laughed at and are now running the world. The rest of us were too busy asking the man in the Public Announcement tent to put out a message for our lost friends Ivor Harden, Hugh Janus, Seymour Cox and Mike Hunt. One turbulent decade began with John Snow getting barracked and bombarded with tinnies and ended with batsmen getting bounced and sledged. Cameras and microphones got closer and closer to the action to overhear the insults and demystify the bowling actions.

 

 

 

The art of spin had disappeared, for ever, some believed. Cricketers wives wrote books about the overseas tours. Reverse swing seemed to arrive out of nowhere : "Not only does he bowl off the wrong foot. They say he swings it the other way." Ball tampering became a matter of dinner party chat from Keswick to Canterbury . Clever 3-D images were painted on the grass round about the long stop area advertising power generation companies no one had ever heard of. Advertising was not only to be seen on the grass, but on the clothes, Vodafone and Castlemaine were stitched bigger and brighter on the shirts than the three lions and the wallabies and that mysterious silver feather that Kiwis seem so unaccountably fond of.

 

The county game was rent asunder into leagues and divisions that no one really understands; the politics and governance of cricket, with its contracts and coaches, its bloated fixture lists and auctions of broadcasting rights caused hand-wringing too, though many would rather it were neck-wringing.

 

Meanwhile, drugs, drinking binges, embarrassing text messages and other scandals continued to erupt like acne on a teenager.

 

South Africa returned to the fold as other countries entered the club of test playing nations. Kenya, Zimbabwe and Bangladesh.

 

Two of those speccy boys who used to score at the sidelines got their revenge, their names were Mr Lewis and Mr Duckworth.

 

To the dictionary of acronyms and initials were added ODI, T-20 and IPL. Power plays and baseball style pinch-hitters were swept in. The old lady of cricket was getting a right duffing up.

 

Yet, amazingly, none of these changes, professionalism, the covered wickets, helmets, day-night games, confirmed the dire prognostications of those who believed each one might hammer a stump into cricket's fragile heart. For this same period of my cricket watching life saw some of the greatest matches in the game's history. The 1981 and 2005 Ashes series, the Tied Test; a new aggression and boldness of stroke play that no one could disapprove of. Scoring rates went up and great batsmen emerged: Lara, Tendulkar and Ponting amongst many others. And miraculously, to keep the game balanced, Warne and Murali showed that far from being dead, spin bowling was supremely alive; even providing a new ball in the form of the doozra. Huge crowds and rising popularity in fresh territories confirmed cricket's health. Levels of fitness and standards of fielding rocketed. And all the while, the game's greatest expression, the 5 Day Test Match, led the way, providing the greatest entertainment, the most excitement and the deepest commitment from the players. All those mournful predictions had come to nothing. The greatest of games had triumphed again.

 

But now, now, in the age of the internet, just as the great, great players of the past ten years have one by one started to play their farewell matches and leave the field for ever, hideous new forces have been at work. The newly emerged South Africa became mired in scandal, intrigue and misery as the new disease of spread-betting lived up to its name and spread, spread like cholera through a slum. Grotesque emails from professional umpires hit the headlines; allegations of systematic cheating and match-fixing have become commonplace, a dismal and lamentably organised Shop Window for international cricket, its 2007 World Cup seemed to lay the game low: an incomprehensible and dreadful tragedy in the death of Bob Woolmer its ghastly and unforgettable legacy. As if that weren't enough we were more recently treated to the embarrassing spectacle of cricket's governors cosying up to a Texan fraudster with a helicopter and a bigger mouth than wallet.

 

A new kind of bitterness has entered some quarters of the game as ex-players become commentators, columnists and journalists and begin to turn on their erstwhile teammates, dispraising the current players, pouring scorn on their technique and deprecating their tactical nous. We have video of course and can see that these pundits know what they were talking about: historical archive reveals that Boycott, Botham, Gower, Atherton, Willis, and Hussein were never out playing a false shot, never shuffled across, never missed a captaincy trick, never dropped a catch, never posted a fielder in the wrong place and never bowled off line or off length in the entire course of their careers.

 

The benefits and the drawbacks of broadcast technology bewilder us. Hotspots and Hawkeye, referrals and replays, umpires have never been more pressured and exposed and greater more seismically structural questions have never been asked about the meaning and spirit of the game. The rewards are greater, the stakes are higher, the price of failure more public and humiliating.

 

So a hundred years on from cricket's Golden Age of C. B. Fry here is another Fry, searching for a way to toast a game that appears to have become . well, toast.

 

We could choose to believe that and retreat into memories of an apparently innocent and gilded past. We could wash our hands of it all, or we could choose to continue to believe in the game. Not necessarily in its administrators, nor even its players, though most of them in all divisions of the game are proud and gifted. We could choose to have faith in cricket. I for one do truly believe that the game itself, as first played by shepherds in the south of England, the game that spread to every corner of the world, the supreme bat and ball competition, the greatest game ever devised, will continue to provide unimagined pleasures, that true drama will once more come centre stage, booting into the wings the tragedy and farce we have witnessed over the past decade in particular. There will be new scandals of course: that you can depend upon. Undreamt of debacles, imbroglios, furores, brouhahas, crimes, rows, walk-outs and embarrassments are waiting around the corner, quietly slipping the horseshoe into the boxing-glove and preparing to give the goddess Cricketina a sock in the jaw. But new geniuses, new historic last ball climaxes, new unimaginable heights of athletic, tactical and aesthetic pleasure await us too. It is up to the players to believe in the game and the cricketing administrators to believe in the players. But most of all it is up to us to keep the faith and be unashamed, be proud of our love of cricket.

 

 

 

Here, in the very place that is so often called cricket's Mecca, cathedral and temple, is the place for us all to pledge that faith. I do so happily as I raise a glass in toast, on behalf of cricket lovers everywhere to Andrew Strauss in his Benefit Year and his wonderful Team, to Ricky Ponting and his fine tourists and to cricket itself. For, to misappropriate Benjamin Franklin, Cricket is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. So then: raise your glasses, to Strauss, England, Australia and cricket.

[Crab Lungs]

That was feckin' awesome, then again, anything directly influenced from the genius Stephen Fry himself normally is. Thoroughly enjoyed reading that.

[TopGun]

Very good.

[Arizona]

Just watching V for Vendetta on BBC3. Everything that man does is genious.

[Crab Lungs]

Just watching V for Vendetta on BBC3. Everything that man does is genious.

 

If I could 'like this' facebook-stylee, I would.

 

I am assuming you've seen Stephen Fry on America. If not, get the DVD's. Major likes. The blokes brilliant. An educated, compassionate, intellectually enriching view on the America we don't often see and Fry is maginficent. As always!

 

He's defo one person (along with Brian Blessed) who I would inivite to my 'fantasy dinnerparty' - imagine the anecdotes! I would'nt mind if he showed up as General Melchett though, that would be amusing. Nayyyyyyy

[Arizona]

If I could 'like this' facebook-stylee, I would.

 

I am assuming you've seen Stephen Fry on America. If not, get the DVD's. Major likes. The blokes brilliant. An educated, compassionate, intellectually enriching view on the America we don't often see and Fry is maginficent. As always!

 

He's defo one person (along with Brian Blessed) who I would inivite to my 'fantasy dinnerparty' - imagine the anecdotes! I would'nt mind if he showed up as General Melchett though, that would be amusing. Nayyyyyyy

 

Yeah, I watched SFIA. If only to see what he did in AZ. Think he sat in the nose gunners possition in a WW2 bomber and flew to Tucson, or maybe that was another programme. :-k QI is brilliant. Blackadder was brilliant. A bit of Fry and Lawrie was brilliant.

 

Two good shouts for a dinner party there. I'd have Natalie Portman from that film too I think. MLT and Damon Hill from the world of sport and Bill Bailey and Peter Kay to boot.

[Leicestersaint]

Good speech by Fry - I can also hear him delivering it. However, i can't see any mention of the real threat posed by the current administrators in selligng out lock, stock and barrel to Sky - the numbers watching cricket of all kinds on the box are now so much smaller than they used to be. This is a real threat in my view.

[dubai_phil]

Excellent read. Enjoyed my internet free week in the UK, but for those with access to BBC I Player and who enjoyed this, I recommend finding Thursday's edition of Never Mind the Buzz****s with Stephen Fry.

 

It was hilarious, especially the bit about the Pretzel........

[Weston Saint]

Fantastic. Thanks for posting it. Thoroughly good read.

[RedAndWhite91]

The man is a legend, a great read. Thanks John B.

[Special K]

If you haven't already, try his podcasts. There is a terrific one where he presents a speech in defence of the licence fee. He is one of the most enjoyable people to listen to these days, without a doubt.

[skintsaint]

Good post, enjoyed reading that. Also noticed Mr Fry is helping make the new dambusters film....will be interesting to see how bad that film will be.

[keithd]

enjoyable read, love Mr Fry, read all his books. One tiny criticism...

 

A new kind of bitterness has entered some quarters of the game as ex-players become commentators, columnists and journalists and begin to turn on their erstwhile teammates, dispraising the current players, pouring scorn on their technique and deprecating their tactical nous. We have video of course and can see that these pundits know what they were talking about: historical archive reveals that Boycott, Botham, Gower, Atherton, Willis, and Hussein were never out playing a false shot, never shuffled across, never missed a captaincy trick, never dropped a catch, never posted a fielder in the wrong place and never bowled off line or off length in the entire course of their careers.

 

no need for that paragraph at all imho. i dont believe messrs gower botham hussein et al are bitter, they have earned the right to criticize the way they feel fit. they wouldnt for a moment say they never made a mistake nor imply that, they're paid by their employers to contribute and thats what they do

 

great speech tho. top notch

[L1Minus10]

Brilliant stuff. Fry is a genius and I agree that his standard it very very high...

 

'Kingdom' is utter b0ll0ck5 though...