hamster Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 I am expecting a surprise (laptop for Mrs hamster) delivery on Monday, but she wants us to have a day in Brighton. Thinks it will be great to spend even more of my (our) money on her. I need a good excuse for us both to stay in, ideally avoiding a domestic incident that may result in her stomping off and going without me. Suggestions on a postcard please. Anyone fancy stealing my car for the day? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 ts sfc lives there and you dont want to see him? Go out first thing to fuel up for the trip, then when you get back tell her you put the wrong type in, i.e diesel instead of petrol and you have phoned a mechanic to get him to come and bleed the car? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thedelldays Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 it is full of the Gheys Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 TMS probably isn't the best place to post this tbh Hamster. My advice: Chloroform. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 it is full of the Gheys ts sfc lives there and you dont want to see him? And there you have it. Oh Hamster - get it delivered somewhere else? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedAndWhite91 Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Pretend you've broken your legs and so can't leave the house. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 it is full of the Gheys Currently it is Gay Pride Festival week down there; "Pride beside the Seaside". My daughter went to Brighton for the weekend, saw what was going on and ended up booking the weekend at a hotel in Guildford. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evil Monkey Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Cut your left arm off, that way you wont be able to change gear or use the indicaters. If you have an automatic though, you're screwed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Currently it is Gay Pride Festival week down there; "Pride beside the Seaside". My daughter went to Brighton for the weekend, saw what was going on and ended up booking the weekend at a hotel in Guildford. Have you brought your children up to be homophobic then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Have you brought your children up to be homophobic then? Only when they want to charge her £200 a night for a sh1tty hotel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Say you want to spend the entire day waiting news of a Saints new signing. Failing that then go along with some the above comments,ie don't want to spend the day in a place full of benders, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Only when they want to charge her £200 a night for a sh1tty hotel. You have exceeded you PM's - clear some!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robsk II Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Oh noes, some gays! Run for the hills! Christ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Oh noes, some gays! Run for the hills! Christ. You'll probably be safer in Brighton during that week than you'd be on the streets of most other UK towns and cities! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 You'll probably be safer in Brighton during that week than you'd be on the streets of most other UK towns and cities! That's why I suggested Brighton for a weekend away for my daughter and her mate. It's just that they couldn't afford £400 for a hotel. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 1 August, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 August, 2009 tbh, she will be more detremined to take me up the prom-prom-prom, if she finds out it's gay pride week. I need an good reason not to come out at all. Isn't there someone who goes to the SWF kickabout who is known for damaging other players ligaments or soemthing? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robsk II Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Very likely, ESB. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 1 August, 2009 Author Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Go out first thing to fuel up for the trip, then when you get back tell her you put the wrong type in, i.e diesel instead of petrol and you have phoned a mechanic to get him to come and bleed the car? She will suggest we take the train, and give me one of her 'looks' for breaking the car e ven more, I already broke the roof this week. My advice: Chloroform. Tried that, it made me all sleepy. Oh Hamster - get it delivered somewhere else? My neighbours don't like me. Pretend you've broken your legs and so can't leave the house. This could work, I like it. Cut your left arm off, that way you wont be able to change gear or use the indicaters. If you have an automatic though, you're screwed. I have an automatic, I am screwed. Say you want to spend the entire day waiting news of a Saints new signing. I think she knows Saints well enough to know that we ain't gonna sign any new players tbh. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timebomb Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Theres always swine flu Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J Bizzle Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 tbh, she will be more detremined to take me up the prom-prom-prom, if she finds out it's gay pride week. I need an good reason not to come out at all. Isn't there someone who goes to the SWF kickabout who is known for damaging other players ligaments or soemthing? I'll turn up to kick people up in the air. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 fingers down throat, smear some bum fudge around the toilet bowl and make appropriate noises. 'Sorry love, must have eaten something dodgy ??' Simples. Back this up by ordering a take away from somewhere different ?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robsk II Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Say your willy hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StuRomseySaint Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Say your willy hurts. Is that what happened to you last time you were in Brighton, you fag? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Simple, rather then arguing Brighton is bad, argue that it would be better staying at home, do some romantic gesture (breakfast in bed, then pamper her or some other ********.) and ensure she is content at Chateaux del Hamster. Then get the computer and surprise her with it. Not only would you then acheive your aim but then SHE will owe you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Say you want to stay in to watch the Test Match. Unless Mrs H doesn't like cricket? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jillyanne Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Say you want to stay in to watch the Test Match. Unless Mrs H doesn't like cricket? She would probably rather watch the grass grow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robsk II Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Is that what happened to you last time you were in Brighton, you fag? No. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 1 August, 2009 Share Posted 1 August, 2009 Tell her if she stays at home she will be in for a big surprise,:smt047 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notnowcato Posted 2 August, 2009 Share Posted 2 August, 2009 Take her to Brighton today. The weather looks good at the moment and all teh gheys will be nursing sore heads. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wheels Posted 2 August, 2009 Share Posted 2 August, 2009 Just tell her that you have bought her a surprise and that you need to be in on Monday to receive it. If you're lucky the delivery will arrive at 5 o'clock so you will have spent the day watching the Ashes. If you're not it will come at 8 o'clock and you'll still have to take her to Brighton :mad: Either way, by telling her she's got a surprise coming, you're onto a winner Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
INFLUENCED.COM Posted 2 August, 2009 Share Posted 2 August, 2009 I need an good reason not to come out Its 2009, it is acceptable to most now, will there ever be a better opportunity than in Brighton during gay pride weekend to do that very thing ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 2 August, 2009 Author Share Posted 2 August, 2009 Theres always swine flu She would send me to quarantine. 'Sorry love, must have eaten something dodgy ??' Simples. Yeah, sorry darling*, your cooking is ****. Simples. *I never actually use that term of endearment? Say your willy hurts. After all the years we've been together, she knows it hurts, that is what attracted her to me. That and how gentle I can be when required. Simple, rather then arguing Brighton is bad, argue that it would be better staying at home, do some romantic gesture (breakfast in bed, then pamper her or some other ********.) and ensure she is content at Chateaux del Hamster. Then get the computer and surprise her with it. Not only would you then acheive your aim but then SHE will owe you. You've really put a lot of thought into this haven't you Colin. I think that we would get on well. Say you want to stay in to watch the Test Match. Unless Mrs H doesn't like cricket? Well btf, I am sorry to tel you this, but not only do I consider Cricket not to be a sport for women, I do not even consider it a sport for men, I don't really consider it a sport tbh. Unless of course the Mighty Spitfires of KENT are in the final of the Twenty20 cup (which they soon will be. I am probably like a majority of people and will watch the last few overs of the final test, and jump on the bandwagon when/if we win. Tell her if she stays at home she will be in for a big surprise,:smt047 ...and then dissapoint her with a computer!!!!! Take her to Brighton today. The weather looks good at the moment and all teh gheys will be nursing sore heads. Nurses with sore heads!! After last night my head is too sore to leave the house right now. anyway cheers queers, have a nice sunday xx's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 So what was the final outcome then ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
keithd Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 i like brighton hth Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 He Went to brighton, Kissed a man. Got home with angry wife. She smashed new lap top on his head. Thats why not online today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 18 Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 He Went to brighton, Kissed a man. Got home with angry wife. She smashed new lap top on his head. Thats why not online today I LOL'd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calvin Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Edited. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Calvin, I should infract you for that. I'm going to edit it and put it down to youthful ignorance. Don't let me down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Calvin Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Calvin, I should infract you for that. I'm going to edit it and put it down to youthful ignorance. Don't let me down. "Youthful" I wish I was young again. I think you should infract me for saying "fudge Parade" as it's extremely offensive! OH NOEES Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Why would you say that? Who's the winner in this instance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bungle Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Why would you say that? Who's the winner in this instance? It's not about the winning, Ponty, it's the taking part that counts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Is the Fudge Parade anything like the Mars London Marathon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Is the Fudge Parade anything like the Mars London Marathon. Yeah, but you don't wanna know what happens when you lose. :smt103 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedAndWhite91 Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 I think we should all go to Brighton on April 1st. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 4 August, 2009 Author Share Posted 4 August, 2009 Stayed in to honour overdue promise to decorate front room. All furniture now painted 'cotton' white, and wallpaper stripped. popped out for 30 minutes to get paint, and misse courier. Luckily good neighbour took in laptop. Tears aplenty, I am loved x 2. The End xx hamster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 4 August, 2009 Share Posted 4 August, 2009 aaaah , I love a good romance... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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