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Excuse not to go to Brighton

hamster

By hamster
in The Muppet Show

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hamster

hamster

Posted
Posted

I am expecting a surprise (laptop for Mrs hamster) delivery on Monday, but she wants us to have a day in Brighton. Thinks it will be great to spend even more of my (our) money on her.

 

I need a good excuse for us both to stay in, ideally avoiding a domestic incident that may result in her stomping off and going without me.

 

Suggestions on a postcard please.

 

Anyone fancy stealing my car for the day?

saint_stevo

saint_stevo

Posted
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ts sfc lives there and you dont want to see him?

 

Go out first thing to fuel up for the trip, then when you get back tell her you put the wrong type in, i.e diesel instead of petrol and you have phoned a mechanic to get him to come and bleed the car?

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

Posted
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it is full of the Gheys

 

Currently it is Gay Pride Festival week down there; "Pride beside the Seaside".

 

My daughter went to Brighton for the weekend, saw what was going on and ended up booking the weekend at a hotel in Guildford.:D

Jillyanne

Jillyanne

Posted
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Currently it is Gay Pride Festival week down there; "Pride beside the Seaside".

 

My daughter went to Brighton for the weekend, saw what was going on and ended up booking the weekend at a hotel in Guildford.:D

 

Have you brought your children up to be homophobic then?

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

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Have you brought your children up to be homophobic then?

 

Only when they want to charge her £200 a night for a sh1tty hotel.

Badger

Badger

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Say you want to spend the entire day waiting news of a Saints new signing.

 

Failing that then go along with some the above comments,ie don't want to spend the day in a place full of benders,

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

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You'll probably be safer in Brighton during that week than you'd be on the streets of most other UK towns and cities!

 

That's why I suggested Brighton for a weekend away for my daughter and her mate. It's just that they couldn't afford £400 for a hotel.

hamster

hamster

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tbh, she will be more detremined to take me up the prom-prom-prom, if she finds out it's gay pride week. I need an good reason not to come out at all.

 

Isn't there someone who goes to the SWF kickabout who is known for damaging other players ligaments or soemthing?

hamster

hamster

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  • Author
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Go out first thing to fuel up for the trip, then when you get back tell her you put the wrong type in, i.e diesel instead of petrol and you have phoned a mechanic to get him to come and bleed the car?

 

She will suggest we take the train, and give me one of her 'looks' for breaking the car e ven more, I already broke the roof this week.

 

My advice: Chloroform.

 

Tried that, it made me all sleepy.

 

Oh Hamster - get it delivered somewhere else?

 

My neighbours don't like me.

 

Pretend you've broken your legs and so can't leave the house.

 

This could work, I like it.

 

Cut your left arm off, that way you wont be able to change gear or use the indicaters. If you have an automatic though, you're screwed.

 

I have an automatic, I am screwed.

 

Say you want to spend the entire day waiting news of a Saints new signing.

 

I think she knows Saints well enough to know that we ain't gonna sign any new players tbh.

J Bizzle

J Bizzle

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tbh, she will be more detremined to take me up the prom-prom-prom, if she finds out it's gay pride week. I need an good reason not to come out at all.

 

Isn't there someone who goes to the SWF kickabout who is known for damaging other players ligaments or soemthing?

 

I'll turn up to kick people up in the air.

Smirking_Saint

Smirking_Saint

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fingers down throat, smear some bum fudge around the toilet bowl and make appropriate noises.

 

'Sorry love, must have eaten something dodgy ??' Simples.

 

Back this up by ordering a take away from somewhere different ??

Colinjb

Colinjb

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Simple, rather then arguing Brighton is bad, argue that it would be better staying at home, do some romantic gesture (breakfast in bed, then pamper her or some other ********.) and ensure she is content at Chateaux del Hamster. Then get the computer and surprise her with it. Not only would you then acheive your aim but then SHE will owe you.

wheels

wheels

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Just tell her that you have bought her a surprise and that you need to be in on Monday to receive it.

 

If you're lucky the delivery will arrive at 5 o'clock so you will have spent the day watching the Ashes.

 

If you're not it will come at 8 o'clock and you'll still have to take her to Brighton :mad:

 

Either way, by telling her she's got a surprise coming, you're onto a winner :p

hamster

hamster

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Theres always swine flu

She would send me to quarantine.

 

'Sorry love, must have eaten something dodgy ??' Simples.

Yeah, sorry darling*, your cooking is ****. Simples.

*I never actually use that term of endearment?

 

Say your willy hurts.

After all the years we've been together, she knows it hurts, that is what attracted her to me. That and how gentle I can be when required.

 

Simple, rather then arguing Brighton is bad, argue that it would be better staying at home, do some romantic gesture (breakfast in bed, then pamper her or some other ********.) and ensure she is content at Chateaux del Hamster. Then get the computer and surprise her with it. Not only would you then acheive your aim but then SHE will owe you.

You've really put a lot of thought into this haven't you Colin. I think that we would get on well. ;)

 

Say you want to stay in to watch the Test Match.

Unless Mrs H doesn't like cricket?

Well btf, I am sorry to tel you this, but not only do I consider Cricket not to be a sport for women, I do not even consider it a sport for men, I don't really consider it a sport tbh.

Unless of course the Mighty Spitfires of KENT are in the final of the Twenty20 cup (which they soon will be.

I am probably like a majority of people and will watch the last few overs of the final test, and jump on the bandwagon when/if we win.

 

Tell her if she stays at home she will be in for a big surprise,:smt047

...and then dissapoint her with a computer!!!!!

 

Take her to Brighton today. The weather looks good at the moment and all teh gheys will be nursing sore heads.

Nurses with sore heads!! After last night my head is too sore to leave the house right now.

 

anyway cheers queers, have a nice sunday

xx's

Calvin

Calvin

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Calvin, I should infract you for that. I'm going to edit it and put it down to youthful ignorance. Don't let me down.

 

"Youthful" I wish I was young again.

 

I think you should infract me for saying "fudge Parade" as it's extremely offensive!

 

OH NOEES

hamster

hamster

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Stayed in to honour overdue promise to decorate front room. All furniture now painted 'cotton' white, and wallpaper stripped. popped out for 30 minutes to get paint, and misse courier. Luckily good neighbour took in laptop. Tears aplenty, I am loved x 2.

The End

 

xx

hamster

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