chrisobee Posted 20 July, 2009 Posted 20 July, 2009 From an article in the Independent: http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/howzat-the-best-insults-in-cricket-1733531.html?action=Popup&ino=5 My favourites: During the Lords Test of 1989, Australian fast bowler Merv Hughes was in the middle of a purple patch and beating the bat regularly. Frustrated as another slid by the edge of the bat of England batsman Robin Smith, Hughes snarled: 'Mate, you can't bat'. Naturally, Smith despatched the next ball for four and responded, "Hey Merv, we'd make a fine pair. I can't bat and you can't bowl." During the 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed Miandad had said publicly that Hughes looked like a fat bus conductor. Big Merv dismissed the Pakistani soon after, running passed the batsman yelling, "Tickets please!" Sri Lankan skipper Arjuna Ranatunga was not the most popular figure on the international circuit, and was perhaps most unpopular with the Australians (perhaps because he did rather well against them). One occasion, the great spinner Shane Warne was trying to lure the comfortable figure of Ranatunga down the pitch and was being frustrated by Ranatunga's unwillingness to be tempted. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up: "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."
Baj Posted 20 July, 2009 Posted 20 July, 2009 love this one: Jimmy Ormond (pictured above) was a county bowler surprisingly promoted to the England Test side to be greeted at the crease by Mark Waugh (brother of Australian captain Steve): "Mate, what are you doing here? There is no way you're good enough to play for England." Ormond responded, "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family."
chrisobee Posted 20 July, 2009 Author Posted 20 July, 2009 love this one: Jimmy Ormond (pictured above) was a county bowler surprisingly promoted to the England Test side to be greeted at the crease by Mark Waugh (brother of Australian captain Steve): "Mate, what are you doing here? There is no way you're good enough to play for England." Ormond responded, "Maybe not, but at least I'm the best player in my family." Lol, one from Ian Botham: Ian Botham came to the crease and Aussie 'keeper Rod Marsh said cheerfully: 'How's your wife and my kids?' Botham is said to have replied: "The wife's fine. The kids are retarded."
chrisobee Posted 20 July, 2009 Author Posted 20 July, 2009 This might be the best of the lot !! Fred Truman would have a go at his own team-mates, never mind the other team, if he thought they'd done him wrong. After an outside edge flew through the legs of a slip fielder, the guilty party Raman Subba Row trotted up to apologise: "Sorry Fred, I should have kept my legs together." Truman responded, "So should your mother."
John B Posted 20 July, 2009 Posted 20 July, 2009 My favorite happened 1986 in West Indies GREG THOMAS TO VIV RICHARDS (AFTER BEATING HIM FIVE TIMES ON THE TROT) You seem to have trouble locating the ball. Let me help you - it's red and looks like this VIV TO GREG (AFTER BELTING HIM OUT OF THE GROUND NEXT BALL FOR SIX) You know what it looks like, you go and fetch it
chrisobee Posted 20 July, 2009 Author Posted 20 July, 2009 My favorite happened 1986 in West Indies GREG THOMAS TO VIV RICHARDS (AFTER BEATING HIM FIVE TIMES ON THE TROT) You seem to have trouble locating the ball. Let me help you - it's red and looks like this VIV TO GREG (AFTER BELTING HIM OUT OF THE GROUND NEXT BALL FOR SIX) You know what it looks like, you go and fetch it Has been attributed to a few players ! http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/howzat-the-best-insults-in-cricket-1733531.html?action=Popup&ino=1
John B Posted 20 July, 2009 Posted 20 July, 2009 Has been attributed to a few players ! http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/cricket/howzat-the-best-insults-in-cricket-1733531.html?action=Popup&ino=1 Sorry I thought it was Thomas/Richards http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-90150594.html
chrisobee Posted 20 July, 2009 Author Posted 20 July, 2009 Sorry I thought it was Thomas/Richards http://www.highbeam.com/doc/1G1-90150594.html Could have been, no one seems to be sure!
John B Posted 20 July, 2009 Posted 20 July, 2009 Could have been, no one seems to be sure! Still makes me laugh every time I see it
chrisobee Posted 20 July, 2009 Author Posted 20 July, 2009 Still makes me laugh every time I see it Yes, so does not really matter who said it, still a classic quip !
wadesmith Posted 20 July, 2009 Posted 20 July, 2009 Yes, so does not really matter who said it, still a classic quip ! Merv Hughes says to Mike Gatting, "Why are you so ****ing fat?" Mike Gatting retorts, " Well Merv It's because I've got a slow metabalism" Classic stuff.
dubai_phil Posted 20 July, 2009 Posted 20 July, 2009 Village game many years ago..... Opening bowler steams in, hits the pads about 2 feet outside leg stump after taking a loud inside edge.... OWZAT Dad? yup, reckon that was out son... Oh how they moaned
oxfordshire_saint Posted 23 July, 2009 Posted 23 July, 2009 My favourite: Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan McGrath to Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's **** taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever ****ing mention my wife again, I'll ****ing rip your ****ing throat out!"
chrisobee Posted 24 July, 2009 Author Posted 24 July, 2009 My favourite: Glenn McGrath & Ramnaresh Sarwan McGrath to Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's **** taste like?" Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife." McGrath (losing it): "If you ever ****ing mention my wife again, I'll ****ing rip your ****ing throat out!" Lol, Safe to assume McGrath was a tad unhappy then
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