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Pompey Takeover Saga

Fitzhugh Fella

By Fitzhugh Fella,
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Joensuu

Joensuu

Posted
Posted (edited)
Sorry, sorry:

 

So then, what have I missed in the past few weeks? INCOMING CHEATS!!! :smt030

 

Marks for effort.

 

Short answer to your question is that not a lot has happened...

 

The Few still have:

 

One dodgy admin, who doesn't seem to have audited the books after weeks in charge, but still keeps finding IOUs under the carpets at Krap Nottarf.

 

One dodgy owner, who ticks all the boxes for ownership, apart from willingness.

 

One dodgy manager, who has employed some violinists to try and convert press anger into sympathy. Although his complete averageness and on pitch celebrations does seem to have pulled the wool over the eyes of the Portsea inbreds.

 

One team, disappearing by the day.

 

One set of fans, with their feet firmly on the ground, talking about promotion next season, and what to call their new stadium.

 

One dodgy millionaire scouser, who has loudly swapped his shirts for a blue one, and told all the supporters that they are the bestest in the world ever™, but whose company has posted massive losses, and who hasn't managed to show the Admin two beans to rub together. Hey, but at least he might be good at kicking tyres.

 

One group of creditors, desperately awaiting news of any forthcoming meeting.

 

One fraud squad accumulating evidence.

 

One Football League, now in receipt of one large dossier.

 

One CVA, never to be signed.

 

One Juan Román Riquelme still waiting for the call.

 

Oh, and down the road (you know, head past the edge of the council estates, past the last know bastion of fish sex, straight on for about 20 miles), your significantly better supported neighbour won one little paint pot.

 

CHEATS

Edited by Joensuu
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sidthesquid

sidthesquid

Posted
Posted
Going to be even funnier when he fooks off at the end of the season.

 

I can't believe the mongs believe he's going to stay.

 

He's only there now for one reason, but I'm torn between to conflicting possibilities of what that reason is.

Reason one - he just can't bring himself to leave the club he loves so much, what with the bestest fans in the world ™ and all that.

Reason two - he has a nailed-on contract for approximately £20K/week that Andy Android can't terminate and no b*gger else has offered him even half that.

Can anybody help me understand which is the real reason?

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Chin Strain

Chin Strain

Posted
Posted
He's only there now for one reason, but I'm torn between to conflicting possibilities of what that reason is.

Reason one - he just can't bring himself to leave the club he loves so much, what with the bestest fans in the world ™ and all that.

Reason two - he has a nailed-on contract for approximately £20K/week that Andy Android can't terminate and no b*gger else has offered him even half that.

Can anybody help me understand which is the real reason?

 

Reason three - he gets cut rate deals at the executive services 'warehouse' in Horton Heath

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Saint 76er

Saint 76er

Posted
Posted
Flag Pompey fans are making:

 

POMPEYAVRAMWHITE-vi.jpg

 

Seriously, they're making this too easy for us. The true spirit of Pompey is a man who allegedly uses 'executive' services? Brilliant.

 

But, Danny, can't you see that the blue few at last have a man they can look up to... a man who actually goes outside his own family for that sort of thing.

 

If it wasn't a dirty word in Skatesmuff they'd call him a saint....... :badgrin:

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dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted

Spent the weekend with daughter & future son-in-law who's a Spud. He went to the league game last week and had tkts in the Skate end.

 

He said he simply could not understand how many of them actually found their way into a football stadium, the nastiest, gnarly people he's ever had the misfortune to spend 90 mins with.

 

They all believe it's a PL conspiracy still, he was quite shocked and now has joined the "how the hell can the media call them fantastuc fans" brigade.

 

Looks like I haven't missed anything, am sipping Champers in the lounge on my way back home after a great week spoiled by Thursday's result. Will look forward to waiting for the deposit to arrive with Android - "The man who gives liquidators a bad name" - not my words but the industry scuttlebutt allegedly

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Wes Tender

Wes Tender

Posted
Posted
From the BBC live text:

 

"1629: Portsmouth are playing in front of their lowest ever Premier League crowd, 16,027 watching their mudfight with Blackburn."

 

Greatest fans in the World? What a joke. Their hour of greatest need and they have deserted like rats from a sinking ship.

 

Avram Grant asks for the chance to stay under the new owners and plan for their return to the Premiership in three seasons or so. He obviously isn't aware that the probability is that they won't exit administration with their CVA and therefore will be docked a further 15 points or so in the Fizzy Pop division and perhaps even more depending on whether the courts find some illegal dealing by Storrie and Redcrapp. Even so, they will have lost any players of any quality and will have to start again building a new squad.

 

And that's all dependent on whether these new people aren't put off once they have completed their due dilligence and forensic accounting searches.

 

The likelihood of them finding a buyer/s with more money than sense are pretty remote.

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StuRomseySaint

StuRomseySaint

Posted
Posted

 

The likelihood of them finding a buyer/s with more money than sense are pretty remote.

 

See that's the thing... that's exactly what they are relying on... someone with more money than sense. To buy P*rtsmouth is not a good business decision, infact it is financial suicide.

 

And would anyone with more money than sense buy a Championship club on -15?

 

They are fooked.

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JustMike

JustMike

Posted
Posted
I missed it, what did he say?

 

stelling went to him saying that there is a red card at fratton park..but then kamara, looking all confused, said, "what? has there?" looked around at the game still confused and then back at camera. Could hear the guys in the studio laughing. Stelling said that it was van der borre (spl), Kamara said "ooo i thought he had been subbed" quality :-)

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JackFrost

JackFrost

Posted
Posted
stelling went to him saying that there is a red card at fratton park..but then kamara, looking all confused, said, "what? has there?" looked around at the game still confused and then back at camera. Could hear the guys in the studio laughing. Stelling said that it was van der borre (spl), Kamara said "ooo i thought he had been subbed" quality :-)

 

LOL I saw that.

 

First time Kamara hasn't said "Unbelievable Jeff" at the beginning of a report in years. . .

 

There was a funny one last week when Stelling mistakenly said Leroy Lita had scored an own goal playing for Boro, for his former club Reading when it was actually a own goal by Wheater.

 

Stelling "Well I meant that, I was talking in ****ney rhyming slang, Leroy Lita = David Wheater"

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saint_jas

saint_jas

Posted
Posted
stelling went to him saying that there is a red card at fratton park..but then kamara, looking all confused, said, "what? has there?" looked around at the game still confused and then back at camera. Could hear the guys in the studio laughing. Stelling said that it was van der borre (spl), Kamara said "ooo i thought he had been subbed" quality :-)

 

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rallyboy

rallyboy

Posted
Posted

and let's not fall for the hype about 'poor Pompey' now being forced to field a weakened team, this is their real team we are just starting to see.

 

They have been trading insolvently for six months now so they have played an illegally-strengthened team for 30 games.

In fact they still have a couple of players who shouldn't be playing, either dodgy signings via that blatantly inaccurate paperwork presented to the Prem, or for the crazy wages that should have gone to creditors.

 

Go on Avram, spin that into something positive, and while you are being measured up for the 'spirit of Pompey' statue you might want to explain to the Blue Very Few why your league record is worse than that of Tony Adams.

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Jimmy_D

Jimmy_D

Posted
Posted
Another quality comment from the BBC text today...

 

1605: It's so wet at Fratton Park, all 22 players have changed their kit at half-time. What a bunch of girls. Back under way everywhere. :D

 

Surprised Pompey could afford to do that!

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Vershinin

Vershinin

Posted
Posted
and let's not fall for the hype about 'poor Pompey' now being forced to field a weakened team, this is their real team we are just starting to see.

 

They have been trading insolvently for six months now so they have played an illegally-strengthened team for 30 games.

In fact they still have a couple of players who shouldn't be playing, either dodgy signings via that blatantly inaccurate paperwork presented to the Prem, or for the crazy wages that should have gone to creditors.

 

Go on Avram, spin that into something positive, and while you are being measured up for the 'spirit of Pompey' statue you might want to explain to the Blue Very Few why your league record is worse than that of Tony Adams.

 

That **** grant is still ****ing me off. He KEEPS moaning about poor old scum and saying how its not fair their on the pitch interests have been affected by 9 points. They'd still be bottom of the league behind a toss Burnley team. He is a prize ******.

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OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
Unbefrigginglieveable!

 

Oh, wait a minute.

 

Kamara, an ex Skate.

 

Don't suppose he's their accountant by any chance?

when Stelling asks him to count the players by his fingers that perplexed him even more as he could do the teams and subs on his lol
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Under Weststand

Under Weststand

Posted
Posted

That is classic absolutely classic Oh I saw him go off but thought he'd been substituted :smt081 .

 

The EPL wouldn't deal with them, but looks like divine retribution is taking its toll on the cheating T**ts last couple of weeks, just about getting to the players left that they should have started the season with.

See there's no news so far on how the due diligence is proceeding, I wonder which books they've let Lloyd look at :D

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Weston Super Saint

Weston Super Saint

Posted
Posted

 

I wonder if those quotes are directly attributable to Redknapp....

 

He seems to know an awful lot of detail regarding the transfer and wages of players. Funny since he's on record recently - something to do with his impending court date isn't it? - stating he had no idea how much the players were paid....

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sidthesquid

sidthesquid

Posted
Posted

I'm surprised Grant hasn't been on yet, claiming that Vanden Borre's sending off should be overturned for some unspecified 'special circumstances.'

And how much do you want to bet that most of his allegedly injured players don't get into the spirit of easter and rise again against all the odds to turn out at Wembley.

CHEATS

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rallyboy

rallyboy

Posted
Posted

Redknapp is so predictable, we will now have a week of 'it's a great club, 'triffick' fans, they'll be back, Avram's done a tremendous job' hype, while Avram will join in with his 'it's unfair, we will fight to the last breath, the fans are fantastic, I want to stay, it's not our fault' claims.

 

The funny thing is -they haven't shown any fight, the fans have abandoned ship, it is their fault, it's not a great club, Avram has done a woeful job, he doesn't want to stay, and they won't be back.

 

Keep talking boys and we will keep chuckling along!

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Saint_John

Saint_John

Posted
Posted
I'm surprised Grant hasn't been on yet, claiming that Vanden Borre's sending off should be overturned for some unspecified 'special circumstances.'

And how much do you want to bet that most of his allegedly injured players don't get into the spirit of easter and rise again against all the odds to turn out at Wembley.

CHEATS

 

He did produce some verbal diarrhoea on the radio about the Ref not showing "common sence", then more verbal diarrhoea about something else.

 

They also said that they should have 2 of their players who were "OUT FOR THE SEASON" back for next week - Boateng & Yebda, I think .

 

Perhaps another PL side or England might like to employ their medical staff, because it seems they are able to get their long term injured players back in a couple of weeks, i.e. Rocha played yesterday but was out for the season when "attacked" by that chelski player only a couple of weeks ago.

 

CHEATS

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sidthesquid

sidthesquid

Posted
Posted

I was thinking about this whilst walking the dog this morning;

The flatfish-frottering few keep moaning on and on about how it's all the PL's fault that they are in this mess this season, but (unbelievably, I know, given their highly evolved brains) they have it totally arrse about face.

Where the PL were seriously at fault was in ever letting the Gaydamaks into English football in the first place, to launder their soiled money and buy an FA Cup win with it. (Much as I loathe old ****flap-face, you can't really blame a manager for buying every player he ever dreamt of buying if the owner makes the cash available).

That bit was their serious failing. All any of this season's shower of comedians have ever been were vultures picking over the dead corpse of Poopey, once Gaydamak senior got nailed by the Israeli court and could no longer find any fifty-pees for the launderomat.

The PL's choices were either to let the club fold once Gaydamak senior withdrew funding, or to hope that one of the potless sheiks might just have found some cash. They would have been damned either way, and it's not as if they blocked a takeover by anyone credible, is it? All they could do was hope meltdown might be miraculously avoided, but there was nothing practical they could do.

The unpalatable truth for the mullet-molesting mongs down the road is that the PL should have intervened BEFORE their little spell in the sun, not sort out the sh*t-storm that followed.

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Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

Guest Dark Sotonic Mills

Posted
Posted
Is anyone else hoping that West Ham win today?

 

Although unlikely it will mean that Skates are Relegated!!! About time too.

 

1-0 down at HT, and they missed a penalty... Idiots

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Gingeletiss

Gingeletiss

Posted
Posted

They're still hoping!

 

 

logo_scmp.gif

 

 

label_icon.gif SOCCER

John Carney

Apr 04, 2010 Hong Kong businessman and Portsmouth owner Balram Chainrai is in India speaking to two consortiums interested in buying the Premier League club, in what could prove to be the most important few days in the club's history. ...

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