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Pompey Takeover Saga

Fitzhugh Fella

By Fitzhugh Fella,
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Mr Biscuits

Mr Biscuits

Posted
Posted
Isn't that the same guy who said he was going to Pompey because they 'will be going places' whilst leaving a club that is already in the only place that it is possible for them to go to?

 

I'm guessing it's got more to do with the pay cheque than any 'travel plans' ;)

 

Tbh that's just confirmation that the interviews are scripted

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OldNick

OldNick

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Her tongue probed his toothless mouth like a red slug hoovering up around a jam jar.

 

Unable to move in his clutches, Shaznay felt the heat between her legs.

 

She couldn't remember applying any Canesten that day and hoped it was arousal causing the warmth and not that nasty infection she had picked from her brother.

 

That or her bladder had let go again.

 

Coming up gasping for air, Shaznay nibbled on his ear, ignoring the flaking skin that coated her tongue like a mouthful of dry roasted nuts.

 

Reaching down she felt his manhood stir against the dirty white shorts. Shaznay took her time to reach in past the straining waistband.

 

It was, after all quite a task to get all four fingers and both thumbs of her hand in to his shorts.

 

He grunted like a minutely hung walrus as she gripped his manhood.

 

It felt just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavoured niknak, she squeezed gently and realised it was just as crusty as one too.

 

From out if his shirts her nostrils caught a whiff of long dead scampi. He was ready.

 

Dropping to her knees Shaznay cackled like a hyena on speed. Pulling down his shorts she shrieked 'YOUR PANTS!'

 

'WORN 'EM SINCE CUP FINAL' he slobbered proudly.

 

Reaching out Shaznay clawed away the shredded grey remains of the Marks and Spencer's blue Y-fronts and gasped with delight.

 

It looked just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavour niknak too!

 

 

 

Oh god please don't make me go on

superb,
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The9

The9

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Hold on....They make spare rib flavour nik naks now? :scared:

 

Great post!! :D

 

Rib n Saucy (purple pack) or Nice n Spicy (orange pack) have been staples for a good 15 years now. There was also a time when you could get some kind of scampi/lemon flavour, and they've also done cheesy ones, both in yellow packs at different times. This information may be a few years out of date, as I haven't been paying much attention recently.

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The9

The9

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8830701994014.jpg

 

There we go. I have noted the recent use of "Cream n Cheesy" more recently:

 

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRWE_zpgxyzd9ZeBL4W54_ozgliBtzKTZotW4POSObWBuMfUuFU

 

All essential to taking our minds off Skate Fan Fiction, or whatever the hell has been going on on this page... :o

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Waterside.saint

Waterside.saint

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No please! No more!

 

I can't do it!

 

I've already lost one nights sleep! I'm so tired!

 

You can't make me! I won't do it!

 

Imagining the sweaty congress of TCWTB and one of their camp followers must be akin to turning your head inside out then rolling your frontal lobes in chili powder, not something anyone would do more than once just for the experience. You have earned your rest, grasshopper.

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Waterside.saint

Waterside.saint

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Just when you think they've mangled the English language to its furthest extent, scraped the barrel to its deepest crevice and wrung the pips to their squeakiest limit, they come up with 'hurtling emergence' :mcinnes:

They've become a parody of themselves.

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OldNick

OldNick

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Just when you think they've mangled the English language to its furthest extent, scraped the barrel to its deepest crevice and wrung the pips to their squeakiest limit, they come up with 'hurtling emergence' :mcinnes:

They've become a parody of themselves.

where have all the great facillities come from all of a sudden. Did they take him to a David Lloyd centre and let him think it was theirs? The pitches were like bowling greens!! where the hell was he, is he thck and was looking at astro turf
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Mr Biscuits

Mr Biscuits

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‘It’s a massive, unbelievable stadium and I can’t wait to play there when it’s full.

 

This is the kipper shed he's talking about right?

 

Have I been transported to some alternate reality where they managed to get the underwater enormo-drome built? Is he on drugs? Did they actually bother to interview the poor sap at all or did they just make it up and put his picture at the top?

 

Oh hang on is he being sarcastic? As in 'I can't believe it's actually still standing'?

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Waterside.saint

Waterside.saint

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This is the kipper shed he's talking about right?

 

Have I been transported to some alternate reality where they managed to get the underwater enormo-drome built? Is he on drugs? Did they actually bother to interview the poor sap at all or did they just make it up and put his picture at the top?

 

Oh hang on is he being sarcastic? As in 'I can't believe it's actually still standing'?

 

It may only be a tatty timber tabernacle, but I bet its the hurtlingest emergent kipper shed that ever was :rolleyes:

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Mr Biscuits

Mr Biscuits

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It may only be a tatty timber tabernacle, but I bet its the hurtlingest emergent kipper shed that ever was :rolleyes:

 

You would think they might have got a clue after three seasons and being about to embark on ther fourth season in League Sodding Two.

 

The monumental arrogance they have is unreal

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Danbert

Danbert

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This is the kipper shed he's talking about right?

 

Have I been transported to some alternate reality where they managed to get the underwater enormo-drome built? Is he on drugs? Did they actually bother to interview the poor sap at all or did they just make it up and put his picture at the top?

 

Oh hang on is he being sarcastic? As in 'I can't believe it's actually still standing'?

 

To be fair to the bloke, he's had two seasons as a pro footballer both of them spent in in non-league football. During one of those seasons, he never got off the bench. He seems staggered that Pompey have signed him, it's almost as if he can't believe his luck. Compared to what he's used to, Fratton Park must feel like a huge step up.

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Waterside.saint

Waterside.saint

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Posted (edited)
To be fair to the bloke, he's had two seasons as a pro footballer both of them spent in in non-league football. During one of those seasons, he never got off the bench. He seems staggered that Pompey have signed him, it's almost as if he can't believe his luck. Compared to what he's used to, Fratton Park must feel like a huge step up.

 

Certainly a huge step. Time will tell which direction it was taken in.

Edited by Waterside.saint
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Mr Biscuits

Mr Biscuits

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To be fair to the bloke, he's had two seasons as a pro footballer both of them spent in in non-league football. During one of those seasons, he never got off the bench. He seems staggered that Pompey have signed him, it's almost as if he can't believe his luck. Compared to what he's used to, Fratton Park must feel like a huge step up.

 

It's a huge step into a pile of smelly dog poo

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suewhistle

suewhistle

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To be fair to the bloke, he's had two seasons as a pro footballer both of them spent in in non-league football. During one of those seasons, he never got off the bench.

 

I'm struggling with the definition of pro footballer who doesn't actually play. Still, Saints had Tommy Fourpast and Antony Pulis, so perhaps I'd better keep silent. Much as I quite enjoy training and kicking Rallyboy at 5-a-side my aim is to at least get off the bench at the weekend for the club I pay my subs to.

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Danbert

Danbert

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I'm struggling with the definition of pro footballer who doesn't actually play. Still, Saints had Tommy Fourpast and Antony Pulis, so perhaps I'd better keep silent. Much as I quite enjoy training and kicking Rallyboy at 5-a-side my aim is to at least get off the bench at the weekend for the club I pay my subs to.

 

Historically, a proffesional sportsman, as opposed to an amateur, is simply one who receives a salary. I suppose in our day and age it's best defined as someone who receives their principal income through playing sport.

 

It was a big thing in cricket until the sixties: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amateur_status_in_first-class_cricket

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TopGun

TopGun

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02/07/2016 8:47 PM CUT

 

Mellono

 

Starting to build a good little squad.

I hope that with another defender bought in that Cook is looking at playing 3 at the back (at home at least)? Watching the Italy v Germany game who both started with 3 centre halves in my opinion shows that if you have the right players you can play this system?

 

Face palm thingy!

 

 

 

Read more: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/football/pompey/new-pompey-defender-shocked-at-hurtling-emergence-1-7459457#ixzz4DO5xb4YE

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The9

The9

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Cheers Danbert. I'm OK with the technical definition: I was just being the cynical self that this thread brings out in me. :-) New rhetorical question: why were they paid?!

 

Nepotism and tallness, in that order.

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Mr Biscuits

Mr Biscuits

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So that's their 8th signing for the summer.

 

Does this mean the bestest player in the world they signed last year weren't actually the bestest?

Is this another sh!t or bust summer of signings to ensure they get out of league two next season?

Haven't we seen this before?

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The Cat

The Cat

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Spent the day there yesterday at a football tournament. My son's U11 Hedge End team were the only ones from outside of the PO postcode competing. Never have I seen so many people with tattoos, kids with shaved heads, mouthy coaches and players. Many of the teams parents didn't appear to have a full set of teeth between them.

 

Sadly they lost 1-0 in a tight semi, but went unbeaten through their group beating both Gosport and Havant & Waterlooville who really didn't like the fact a Southampton team turned them over in their own backyard. Plus I left with all the wheels still on my car so it was a decent day all round.

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TopGun

TopGun

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Eight players in yet they stated that this summer was all about adding a few to the squad rather than wholesale changes.

 

This is like realising you have a rubbish tray of letters in Scrabble and just swapping them for anything else that turns up in the hope that it is better.

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Batman

Batman

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Eight players in yet they stated that this summer was all about adding a few to the squad rather than wholesale changes.

 

This is like realising you have a rubbish tray of letters in Scrabble and just swapping them for anything else that turns up in the hope that it is better.

bit like us, before you criticise

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trousers

trousers

Posted
Posted (edited)
what, we dont see huge changes nearly every summer?

We do it for different reasons and with polar opposite outcomes.

 

They acquire sh1te players and make them even sh1ter, whilst failing to get out of Division 4 (four) in the process.

 

We acquire half decent players and turn them into honoury Liverpudlians for tens of millions of profit whilst finishing higher in the premier league each time.

 

Yep, almost identical... ;)

Edited by trousers
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Doctoroncall

Doctoroncall

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what, we dont see huge changes nearly every summer?

 

I would suggest you look at the documentary mentioned to the Bosnian bloke and find out a bit more about the club you say you support if you don't think there is a difference and what changes matter and are managed.

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Danbert

Danbert

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I don't get this. Why is milking your fans for every penny, ****ing up big time and wasting the cash generated on dross and spending a fourth season in League 2 as a consequence a source of pride?

 

He said: ‘We’ve budgeted very conservatively based on the fact this is now our fourth season in League Two.

 

‘Obviously, fans’ hopes were reignited by last season’s performances and are coming out in substantial numbers to renew their season tickets.

‘That’s brilliant news for us as a club.

‘As we’ve said before, every penny that we get goes back in. There’s no-one taking money out of the cub [sic].

‘This is the beauty of the fan-owned model and where it comes into play.

‘Every penny we generate gives up more fire-power in terms of supporting the manager on the pitch.

‘The fans are key to everything. It gives us more ammunition to give Paul. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.

‘Being a fan-owned club, if we don’t get the fans we don’t have the budget. Plain and simple. It’s the fans who give us that fire-power.

‘We’ve worked on some fantastic revenue-generating schemes. We’ve cut costs right back.

‘So it’s now literally a simple exercise of the more money we get into the club via the fans the more we can give to the manager.

‘The more we get in, the more we can give to the manager to get players on the pitch to deliver success.’

 

http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/football/pompey/catlin-s-pompey-budget-pride-1-7463569

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