eurosaint Posted 24 June, 2016 Posted 24 June, 2016 According to Factless "the Fratton Faithful are drooling". Shouldn't that be "foaming at the mouth" ?
rallyboy Posted 27 June, 2016 Posted 27 June, 2016 pompey in talks with various potential battling plucky recruits.....Messi steps down from international football....coincidence? News that would make the most dry-mouthed slack-jawed yokel drool.
Ohio Saint Posted 27 June, 2016 Posted 27 June, 2016 Get this, the reason they didn't get promoted last time round, was that too many of the players were used to playing at a higher level, which made League 2 tricky for them: http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/football/pompey/adam-barton-pompey-better-placed-for-promotion-this-time-1-7439209 That article will be ten times funnier when we drag it out again at the end of NEXT season.
Danbert Posted 27 June, 2016 Posted 27 June, 2016 "It is over three years since the Fans took over Portsmouth Community Football Club. The name indicates how important it is to us and to the wider football world." The grandeur of their pompous self-eulogising delusion knows no bounds. Nobody gives a flying **** about your lousy tinpot little outfit you bunch of inbred halfwits.
Plastic Posted 27 June, 2016 Posted 27 June, 2016 "It is over three years since the Fans took over Portsmouth Community Football Club. The name indicates how important it is to us and to the wider football world." The grandeur of their pompous self-eulogising delusion knows no bounds. Nobody gives a flying **** about your lousy tinpot little outfit you bunch of inbred halfwits. Oh that's cheered me up no end... PST will hold hustings in Portsmouth at some stage to give candidates an opportunity to meet members of the Trust; and communicate with our worldwide fan base.
suewhistle Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 'Worldwide fan base'? I didn't think we had The Transports any more?
Pamplemousse Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Confirmation: my American Saints-supporting friend (who has had the misfortune of visiting Portsmouth) has never heard of them.
hutch Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 I think we might be a bit harsh here. I think the probably have got a worldwide fan.
Mr Biscuits Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Note to the skates: Having your sister uncle on the phone in Marbella does not equal a worldwide fanbase.
Saint-Armstrong Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Jason Demetriou has confirmed he left Walsall and signed for Southend after rejecting an offer from Pompey.
Pamplemousse Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Meanwhile, behind the war memorial in Portsmouth is this lovely bit of graffiti
Weston Super Saint Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Jason Demetriou has confirmed he left Walsall and signed for Southend after rejecting an offer from Pompey. I wonder if there's a template that covers these circumstances....
buctootim Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Meanwhile, behind the war memorial in Portsmouth is this lovely bit of graffiti ****s. I'd rather Krakow was 18 miles down the road instead of Portsmouth.
Weston Super Saint Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Is having dirty polish even possible? Surely a misnomer?
The9 Posted 28 June, 2016 Posted 28 June, 2016 Slightly concerned, Newport County have now signed two rejects from the Skate Academy this summer. Admittedly both from non-league...
Dark Munster Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 "It is over three years since the Fans took over Portsmouth Community Football Club. The name indicates how important it is to us and to the wider football world." The grandeur of their pompous self-eulogising delusion knows no bounds. Nobody gives a flying **** about your lousy tinpot little outfit you bunch of drooling inbred halfwits. Corrected for you.
rallyboy Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 They were back at the club's elite sporting centre of excellence yesterday - well, they were running around Wicor Mill at Portchester, hopping between the virtual dog turds.
Golden Balls Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 I think he's actually being serious too. Mental.
Danbert Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 So he's going to try and bankrupt them again? Yep: "If you want to keep a team together you have to invest a little bit, even though you don’t want to." http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/football/pompey/milan-lalkovic-pompey-ambition-too-strong-to-resist-1-7453652?
Golden Balls Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Yep: "If you want to keep a team together you have to invest a little bit, even though you don’t want to." http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/football/pompey/milan-lalkovic-pompey-ambition-too-strong-to-resist-1-7453652? What? He didn't mention the best fan in world football? He'll need to correct that ASAP.
hutch Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Good to see the annual team rebuild is galloping along: Those today present included new recruits Carl Baker, Drew Talbot, Milan Lalkovic, Danny Rose and Michael Smith. Also, absent from participating were transfer-listed trio Matt Tubbs, Adam McGurk and Kal Naismith, who had initially turned up along with the rest of their team-mates. Pompey are desperate to offload all three, although interest has been frustratingly sparse during the close season. Fortunately, the budget is again unlimited, due to the world record season ticket sales.
St Jim Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Holy carp, I didn't realise this thread was still going. Aren't they dead yet?
suewhistle Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Matt Tubbs, Adam McGurk and Kal Naismith, who had initially turned up along with the rest of their team-mates. Pompey are desperate to offload all three, Er, why? Crap? Too expensive? The only ones they reckon they could sell for er... money? I should really channel my Neil Allen and reformat the above into separate paragraphs, but can't be ar&ed.
Mr Biscuits Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Er, why? Crap? Too expensive? The only ones they reckon they could sell for er... money? I should really channel my Neil Allen and reformat the above into separate paragraphs, but can't be ar&ed. You also need to re-write it to read like a Mills & Boon
Golden Balls Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 So our B team could face them in the Football League Trophy? Although I'm against the plans of a B team, this would be funneh if we beat them. http://bit.ly/294awkS
Weston Super Saint Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 You also need to re-write it to read like a Mills & Boon And if you can squeeze in 'tatty timber tabernacle', 'championship standard floodlights' and 'best fans in world football' that would probably be close to a knobhead neil masterpiece.
dronskisaint Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Ah some activity...I miss the mockery, wit and humour that this thread supplies :-) Heard Lalkovic on the radio as I drove down M27...script was in front of him....he could have stayed in L1, he had offers....I love this thread :-)
hutch Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 He could indeed. In Lalkovic's own words: I know I left League One with Walsall but it was an easy decision because the offer they made. I don’t think they showed me appreciation with what they offered
Mr Biscuits Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Thunder rolled in the night as the rain beat down upon the tatty timber tabernacle, dislodging a few more of the roof tiles from its rotting frame. Bathed in the light of the Championship standard floodlights, Shaznay shivered gently and pulled her Sports Direct shell suit closer around her. She gazed up at the stands, remembering the inbred baying of the best fans in world football, remembering that day..... The day she first gazed upon his tattoo'd, pot bellied torso........ I can't go on
The Cat Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Er, why? Crap? Too expensive? The only ones they reckon they could sell for er... money? Having seen Matt Tubbs waddle around the pitch for Eastleigh a few times at the end of last season I'd suggest they'll struggle to get anything for him at all.
Ohio Saint Posted 29 June, 2016 Posted 29 June, 2016 Those today present included new recruits Carl Baker, Drew Talbot, Milan Lalkovic, Danny Rose and Michael Smith.
Waterside.saint Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Thunder rolled in the night as the rain beat down upon the tatty timber tabernacle, dislodging a few more of the roof tiles from its rotting frame. Bathed in the light of the Championship standard floodlights, Shaznay shivered gently and pulled her Sports Direct shell suit closer around her. She gazed up at the stands, remembering the inbred baying of the best fans in world football, remembering that day..... The day she first gazed upon his tattoo'd, pot bellied torso........ I can't go on That, Biscuit, is class sir. I tip my topper to you
Weston Super Saint Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 That, Biscuit, is class sir. I tip my topper to you It was terrible. His paragraphs. Were way. Too Long. Needs to be. More staccato.
Mr Biscuits Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind 'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent. He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!' He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face. The kind of face you could never tire of punching. 'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL' She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED
suewhistle Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Laughing _and_ shuddering! I like your reference to a Fratton Facelift, see a few around Havant way.
Waterside.saint Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind 'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent. He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!' He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face. The kind of face you could never tire of punching. 'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL' She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED
Pancake Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind 'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent. He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!' He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face. The kind of face you could never tire of punching. 'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL' She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED ****. Just burst out laughing on a conference call.
ALWAYS_SFC Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind 'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent. He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!' He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face. The kind of face you could never tire of punching. 'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL' She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED but
Mr Biscuits Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Her tongue probed his toothless mouth like a red slug hoovering up around a jam jar. Unable to move in his clutches, Shaznay felt the heat between her legs. She couldn't remember applying any Canesten that day and hoped it was arousal causing the warmth and not that nasty infection she had picked from her brother. That or her bladder had let go again. Coming up gasping for air, Shaznay nibbled on his ear, ignoring the flaking skin that coated her tongue like a mouthful of dry roasted nuts. Reaching down she felt his manhood stir against the dirty white shorts. Shaznay took her time to reach in past the straining waistband. It was, after all quite a task to get all four fingers and both thumbs of her hand in to his shorts. He grunted like a minutely hung walrus as she gripped his manhood. It felt just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavoured niknak, she squeezed gently and realised it was just as crusty as one too. From out if his shirts her nostrils caught a whiff of long dead scampi. He was ready. Dropping to her knees Shaznay cackled like a hyena on speed. Pulling down his shorts she shrieked 'YOUR PANTS!' 'WORN 'EM SINCE CUP FINAL' he slobbered proudly. Reaching out Shaznay clawed away the shredded grey remains of the Marks and Spencer's blue Y-fronts and gasped with delight. It looked just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavour niknak too! Oh god please don't make me go on
Whitey Grandad Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Brilliant stuff lads, please keep 'em coming
TwoPints Posted 30 June, 2016 Posted 30 June, 2016 Her tongue probed his toothless mouth like a red slug hoovering up around a jam jar. Unable to move in his clutches, Shaznay felt the heat between her legs. She couldn't remember applying any Canesten that day and hoped it was arousal causing the warmth and not that nasty infection she had picked from her brother. That or her bladder had let go again. Coming up gasping for air, Shaznay nibbled on his ear, ignoring the flaking skin that coated her tongue like a mouthful of dry roasted nuts. Reaching down she felt his manhood stir against the dirty white shorts. Shaznay took her time to reach in past the straining waistband. It was, after all quite a task to get all four fingers and both thumbs of her hand in to his shorts. He grunted like a minutely hung walrus as she gripped his manhood. It felt just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavoured niknak, she squeezed gently and realised it was just as crusty as one too. From out if his shirts her nostrils caught a whiff of long dead scampi. He was ready. Dropping to her knees Shaznay cackled like a hyena on speed. Pulling down his shorts she shrieked 'YOUR PANTS!' 'WORN 'EM SINCE CUP FINAL' he slobbered proudly. Reaching out Shaznay clawed away the shredded grey remains of the Marks and Spencer's blue Y-fronts and gasped with delight. It looked just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavour niknak too! Oh god please don't make me go on Brilliant although the family are asking what I'm larfing about now!
Ohio Saint Posted 1 July, 2016 Posted 1 July, 2016 Hold on....They make spare rib flavour nik naks now? Great post!!
Mr Biscuits Posted 1 July, 2016 Posted 1 July, 2016 I really can't I'd start to break forum rules. Plus it would scar me for life.
Shroppie Posted 1 July, 2016 Posted 1 July, 2016 I really can't I'd start to break forum rules. Plus it would scar me for life. Keep going. It'll be worth it. ?? Sent from my D6503 using Tapatalk
rallyboy Posted 1 July, 2016 Posted 1 July, 2016 They offered me a two-year deal while other clubs offered a one-year deal said their new 33 year old... #stillspending
Weston Super Saint Posted 1 July, 2016 Posted 1 July, 2016 They offered me a two-year deal while other clubs offered a one-year deal said their new 33 year old... #stillspending Isn't that the same guy who said he was going to Pompey because they 'will be going places' whilst leaving a club that is already in the only place that it is possible for them to go to? I'm guessing it's got more to do with the pay cheque than any 'travel plans'
ALWAYS_SFC Posted 1 July, 2016 Posted 1 July, 2016 Her tongue probed his toothless mouth like a red slug hoovering up around a jam jar. Unable to move in his clutches, Shaznay felt the heat between her legs. She couldn't remember applying any Canesten that day and hoped it was arousal causing the warmth and not that nasty infection she had picked from her brother. That or her bladder had let go again. Coming up gasping for air, Shaznay nibbled on his ear, ignoring the flaking skin that coated her tongue like a mouthful of dry roasted nuts. Reaching down she felt his manhood stir against the dirty white shorts. Shaznay took her time to reach in past the straining waistband. It was, after all quite a task to get all four fingers and both thumbs of her hand in to his shorts. He grunted like a minutely hung walrus as she gripped his manhood. It felt just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavoured niknak, she squeezed gently and realised it was just as crusty as one too. From out if his shirts her nostrils caught a whiff of long dead scampi. He was ready. Dropping to her knees Shaznay cackled like a hyena on speed. Pulling down his shorts she shrieked 'YOUR PANTS!' 'WORN 'EM SINCE CUP FINAL' he slobbered proudly. Reaching out Shaznay clawed away the shredded grey remains of the Marks and Spencer's blue Y-fronts and gasped with delight. It looked just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavour niknak too! Oh god please don't make me go on Brilliant :lol:
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