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Office Pranks


Glasgow_Saint
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Make someone a cup of tea or coffee and stick your knob in it, add a little wee if required, take a photo on your mobile and hand him the coffee, after he is halfway down the coffee MMS him or her the picture of you stirring the drink with your penis.

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Make someone a cup of tea or coffee and stick your knob in it, add a little wee if required, take a photo on your mobile and hand him the coffee, after he is halfway down the coffee MMS him or her the picture of you stirring the drink with your penis.

 

Jokes on you...you would of course scald your bellend

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Stick a memo on everyones desk/pidgeon hole saying they can't get paid next months wages unless they phone XXXXXXXX and confirm their passport and NI number, due to new EU employment rules. Then put the name and number of a woman on a sex chat line at the bottom.

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Ring him/her and put on a really shocking pretend voice, so that they know it's you and tell them that you think that he/she is a bumhole.

 

Hang up and repeat this process until they shout out "STOP RINGING MY PHONE".

 

Then ring up as normal and say "Would you like a cup of tea?"

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a cup of Coffee.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of water.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Orange Squash.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Lemon Juice.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Ribena.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Coca Cola.

 

If they say "no" then go around to their desk with cups of Tea, Coffee, water, orange squash, lemon juice, ribena and Coca Cola saying that you were playing the opposites game and then run off.

 

If they say yes at any point then go around with a pencil and a pencil sharpener holding the sharpener over their head as you sharpen the pencil.

 

LOLZ!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111

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Ring him/her and put on a really shocking pretend voice, so that they know it's you and tell them that you think that he/she is a bumhole.

 

Hang up and repeat this process until they shout out "STOP RINGING MY PHONE".

 

Then ring up as normal and say "Would you like a cup of tea?"

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a cup of Coffee.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of water.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Orange Squash.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Lemon Juice.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Ribena.

 

If they say "no" then hang up and ring again, asking if they want a glass of Coca Cola.

 

If they say "no" then go around to their desk with cups of Tea, Coffee, water, orange squash, lemon juice, ribena and Coca Cola saying that you were playing the opposites game and then run off.

 

If they say yes at any point then go around with a pencil and a pencil sharpener holding the sharpener over their head as you sharpen the pencil.

 

LOLZ!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111111

 

You must work at Paulton's Park, because that would be an absolute hoot.

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If you have a water cooler in the office, put a pin hole in the cups and watch the fun.

 

If you have some glue like prit-stick glue some pens and pencils to the desk. The get pretty stuck if left over night.

 

Swap a few keys around on the keyboard (actually I think someone's done that to Frank's cousin).

 

Take the ball out of the mouse or tape over the light.

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Take a dump in their top drawer, lock it and then keep the key.

 

Remove all of the screws holding their chair to the wheels/uppy downy bit

 

Cover the phone with boot polish

 

Swap some of the letters over on the keyboard (this is easier than you think, just pull the keycaps off and then press them back in)

 

Use some superglue to block almost all of the water cooler so that it comes out rather fast. Youd be surprised how far it can splash out of one of those plastic cups.

 

Superglue the mouse to the desk

 

Lock two peoples drawers and then swap the keys over.

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Not really an office prank, but someone once put a log (yes, one of those logs....) in the loop of fabric that hangs underneath the roller towel in the blokes bogs at a place I used to work at.

 

I want to know how he managed to get his ar5e up that high.....

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Don't get much of a chance of office pranks where I work as I would be in the cross hairs of everyone else within a nanosecond.

We did have a wizard wheeze a few months back when one of our Sales Agents requested a second sample of a personal safe thinking it was for him we primed 2 mouse traps inside and then stuffed it full of hole punchings knowing that by the time postie had jiggled it about the mouse traps would be free and when he put in the opening 000 combination like a Jack in the box it would explode spectacularly.

2 weeks later he was on the phone "who the ****ing hell did that!! I was in a customer showing him the safe and when it opened paper was everywhere" " He made me get the hoover out and tidy his office". Apparently it was the worst customer it could have happened in.

 

2 Months later the silly sod brought it to a trade show, as he had the only sample in a hurry, when he left the show his personal safe had 2 prawns and a quantity of Stilton Cheese stuffed under the lining.

 

At another trade show years ago we had a shrinkwrap machine company on the next stand we had everyones presenters done but the best one was a miserable bugger who worked for us stupidly left his specs in their case on a table so they were shrinkwrapped when he got a customer he reached for his specs to read his price list then spent the next 5 minutes trying to open the case, his eyesight at that range was pants and we were not much help: his customer had tears rolling down his face.

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Don't get much of a chance of office pranks where I work as I would be in the cross hairs of everyone else within a nanosecond.

We did have a wizard wheeze a few months back when one of our Sales Agents requested a second sample of a personal safe thinking it was for him we primed 2 mouse traps inside and then stuffed it full of hole punchings knowing that by the time postie had jiggled it about the mouse traps would be free and when he put in the opening 000 combination like a Jack in the box it would explode spectacularly.

2 weeks later he was on the phone "who the ****ing hell did that!! I was in a customer showing him the safe and when it opened paper was everywhere" " He made me get the hoover out and tidy his office". Apparently it was the worst customer it could have happened in.

 

2 Months later the silly sod brought it to a trade show, as he had the only sample in a hurry, when he left the show his personal safe had 2 prawns and a quantity of Stilton Cheese stuffed under the lining.

 

At another trade show years ago we had a shrinkwrap machine company on the next stand we had everyones presenters done but the best one was a miserable bugger who worked for us stupidly left his specs in their case on a table so they were shrinkwrapped when he got a customer he reached for his specs to read his price list then spent the next 5 minutes trying to open the case, his eyesight at that range was pants and we were not much help: his customer had tears rolling down his face.

 

Where do you work!!:smt119

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