Mr Biscuits

I must not get carried away with a youtube video! I must not get carried away with a youtube video! I must not get carried away with a youtube video! I must not get carried away with a youtube video! I must not get carried away with a youtube video! I must not get carried away with a youtube video! OHMYFARKINGGODHESAMAZINGSIGNHIMNAOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually missed th Ipswich one. The Everton one....... Well I suppose whoever wrote it was just trying to espouse the club they support however...... It is impossible to not read that in a high pitched scouse accent which makes it cringeworthy in the extreme. 'Here's a list of irrelevant sh!te that no one cares about' The Arsenal one banging on about value for money... Remind me how much their season tickets are again?

Oh my..... Could it be the club getting serious about champions league football?

Got mine and my sons. Him singing alone is worth 20k seats

Can't wait to see what he says when they turn on him

So that's their 8th signing for the summer. Does this mean the bestest player in the world they signed last year weren't actually the bestest? Is this another sh!t or bust summer of signings to ensure they get out of league two next season? Haven't we seen this before?

It's a huge step into a pile of smelly dog poo

You would think they might have got a clue after three seasons and being about to embark on ther fourth season in League Sodding Two. The monumental arrogance they have is unreal

This is the kipper shed he's talking about right? Have I been transported to some alternate reality where they managed to get the underwater enormo-drome built? Is he on drugs? Did they actually bother to interview the poor sap at all or did they just make it up and put his picture at the top? Oh hang on is he being sarcastic? As in 'I can't believe it's actually still standing'?

I would have thought duct tape would be sufficient.......

Just spotted my candidate for numpty of the week

It's about motivation. And the complete lack of it from the England players or the coaching staff. Also add in no confidence and you have a poisonous mix as we saw in the last game where players just simply didn't know what to do. I was always taught that you move, you give the player with the ball options. Standing still is death to any attack because it gives the defence time to cover you and shut out the pass. So you make the little runs, looking as if you are going in behind, you pull the defence out of shape so that another player can use the space. And you actually move with the ball rather than look to pass first. None of that happened in the games I watched and it has not been happening for some time now with England. for me, the new manager needs to do the following: 1) take the captaincy from Rooney. He doesn't lead by example, doesn't have natural authority and isn't a visible enough presence to lead. 2) tell the players that no one has a guaranteed place in the squad. If they want to play in an England shirt they need to clearly demonstrate it and make the most of each opportunity they are given 3) drop Wilshere so that he can rest and sort out his body. Then refuse to select him until he has managed most of a season on the pitch 4) get rid of the ridiculous idea that you can only be considered for England if you play in the top 6 of the PL - if a player is in form then they are good enough for consideration for the national side 5) Pay attention to the youth sides. In addition, the FA need to select a manager to do the job rather than be a 'safe pair of hands'. I've always found this policy to be really stupid and it goes right back to when they didn't select Brian Clough because they thought he would be too much trouble. If you appoint a 'safe pair of hands' it's to protect a position and keep things as they are - what position have they been protecting all these years? Waste of time. The FA need to understand that their job for the national side is to appoint a manager who is going to deliver the best possible performance from the players available. Nothing more. Not only that, the FA need to get on to the media and get them to tone down the ridiculous levels of expectation that get pushed down our throats every time England play. We all want England to win but the pressure put on the team by this (don't tell me they never see it) is too much.

Oh god what have I started?

Nah don't worry, it provided us with a lot of entertainment

We are Southampton we sell who we like

No please! No more! I can't do it! I've already lost one nights sleep! I'm so tired! You can't make me! I won't do it!

Quite like how a lot of people are winding themselves up before a ball has been kicked. I'm quite sure the club will have done their homework and wouldn't have signed him if he was such a disaster. Stop panicking ffs

I told you he was definitely possibly maybe not but could possibly definitely might have probably maybe signed for us or not

Tbh that's just confirmation that the interviews are scripted

I really can't I'd start to break forum rules. Plus it would scar me for life.

Best of luck to him

Where is Dr Gale?

Her tongue probed his toothless mouth like a red slug hoovering up around a jam jar. Unable to move in his clutches, Shaznay felt the heat between her legs. She couldn't remember applying any Canesten that day and hoped it was arousal causing the warmth and not that nasty infection she had picked from her brother. That or her bladder had let go again. Coming up gasping for air, Shaznay nibbled on his ear, ignoring the flaking skin that coated her tongue like a mouthful of dry roasted nuts. Reaching down she felt his manhood stir against the dirty white shorts. Shaznay took her time to reach in past the straining waistband. It was, after all quite a task to get all four fingers and both thumbs of her hand in to his shorts. He grunted like a minutely hung walrus as she gripped his manhood. It felt just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavoured niknak, she squeezed gently and realised it was just as crusty as one too. From out if his shirts her nostrils caught a whiff of long dead scampi. He was ready. Dropping to her knees Shaznay cackled like a hyena on speed. Pulling down his shorts she shrieked 'YOUR PANTS!' 'WORN 'EM SINCE CUP FINAL' he slobbered proudly. Reaching out Shaznay clawed away the shredded grey remains of the Marks and Spencer's blue Y-fronts and gasped with delight. It looked just like an extremely deformed spare rib flavour niknak too! Oh god please don't make me go on

I told you he was going to Utd

Shaznay gave an involuntary scream as the clammy six fingered hand brushed down her shoulder from behind 'OH IT'S YOU' she shrieked in an inbred mockney accent. He stepped close, gripping her in his arms to prevent escape. 'BEANS!' He roared in his sexy voice, the drool spattered Shaznay from her flabby breasts barely held in by the bra from Primark to the highest point of the top knot pulled back to the point of taking at least some of the wrinkles away from her face. The kind of face you could never tire of punching. 'OH! TELL ME YOUR NAME' she quivered 'I'VE ONLY EVER HEARD OF YOU AS THE C*NT WITH THE BELL' She pursed her lips, making them look like a donkey's rectum covered in Hot Pink by Revlon, nicked from Tesco's and bent her head towards his foaming mouth I CAN'T DO THIS ANY MORE STOP MAKING ME I FEEL DIRTY AND USED