Torres

I called the TO at around 4:45 today and they told me that sales had closed at 4:30 and that he didn't think that tickets would be available on the day. I was.....annoyed. Will call Stoke tomorrow to see what's what and post if I get an answer but if anyone knows differently,shout.

Former Newcastle defender Olivier Bernard says McClaren's side are in "a colossal mess" with "mentally weak" players and "comical" selections. http://www.chroniclelive.co.uk/sport/football/football-news/newcastle-colossal-mess-players-mentally-10894743 Useless ****.

I'm sure I gave this guy 50p towards a cup of tea outside Euston on Tuesday.

Quite. I mean, if Steve Bruce couldn't get the best out of him what chance does anyone else have?

Racist chanting by the police?

I know what the answer would be from the management and coaching staff (media trained codswallop) but I do wonder what their aims and objects for the club really are. Do they really care about CC position and status or is it actually all about limited over c cricket? Honestly...

If not, they're available at Rawlinson's.

If you can't find the cash to pay for a ticket, just wander up the hotel and announce that you're an arsonist, with a big box of matches and ask to go in to set fire to the staff. The security there is terrible.

I can't get past the login screen with the captcha code

It you wanted that to rhyme though you'd have to pronounce "roster" as "roaster", leading to a Saints FC Roaster Poster which, given the reputation of professional footballers, would be something entirely different

I don't believe that. Go figure.

Adrian Durham (spit) has just stirred this up on talksport - tune in for irate Spuds fans and LOLs.

I like this one

J-Rod last Thursday, for example. Just stick it out for a throw or, once you've turned the man, hoof it up the line...

I don't know for sure how Spurs fans view the Europa League (they probably expect that a such a massive club like theirs should be expecting to win it) but I imagine they certainly expect to have a decent run into the knockout stages - the lack of depth in midfield and up front is sure to hurt them before they have the chance to strengthen in January. Shame.

Nailed on for Stoke or Newcastle if Liverpool want rid at the end of this season.

The new TV deal kicks in next season so some of the bigger Championship clubs (Derby, Middlesbrough) are spending big this season in the hope of getting a slice of that £££ next season. I suspect that those clubs relegated into the Championship at the end of this season will receive an awful lot of money in parachute payments next season, so getting promoted will be even harder from then on.

Signing of Topley from Essex confirmed for next season. http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/cricket/34084014

Sweet.

Something they have in abundance, luckily. Rattle Rattle.

Won't she be at the wedding too?

Pretty much the entire first team is rested today, not just vvd

Corbyn is everything the Electorate didn't like about Ed multiplied by 10. He's very much the wrong choice for you red chaps. At least, he is if he survives until 2020. I don't think there's a cat in hell's chance that he will though.

Well that's all splendidly naïve.