Lighthouse

Not sure about genius, but it's much nearer that end of the scale. Don't think it can really be cringeworthy when it's just a p**s take. I personally find 'real' R&B far more cringeworthy, it's like they're trying to be a cliche.

This squad (plus or minus a couple) has won at Hillsborough and Carrow Road in the last year or so, not to mention putting 5 past Huddersfield, Rovers and Walsall last year. We are capable of getting a win anywhere and if we play to our potential we will beat Huddersfield.

There's no such thing as midgets, it's all done with mirrors and trap doors.

Made me laugh too. Looked like he was just having an nice day out in Sheffield.

Not sure about the name. He should either be a violin teacher or a WW2 fighter pilot.

2nd worse player at Lincoln. That's like having the second worst personality in Belgium. Just quit now Anthony and become a vicar.

You mean Wigley has been sacked?!?

A really good player when he was here, but he is completely crocked. We did well cashing in on him, even if we were subjected to Pulis in return.

"... after her spy ring was busted this year." Sounds painful.

That's the nuts and bolts of its. 99.99% of people who got on a plane on 9/11 arrived safely. More Brits were probably killed in road traffic accidents on 7/7 than died in the tunnels under London. I suppose what it all comes down to is when your time is up, it's up. If you happen to be in the wrong place at wrong time, there's nothing you can do about that. In the mean time, there's no point in living in fear.

I think she was turned on by the fact that he's got wood. There must be a better pun in there somewhere...

I wonder how many people have had the 'genius' idea of brewing their own hooch, only to end up in A&E. I was in Spain a few months ago and they were selling this nasty stuff from the local convenience stores. About €2 for a 4L bottle of homemade wine. I tried some and it was like drinking window cleaner. You could strip paint with it. Let us know if it's a success. If not... R.I.P.

Guly would seem like a fairly obvious replacement, in behind Lambert. Lallana could do the job too, as could Puncheon in an emergency.

Think I'm doing it wrong. Every time I try to clean and tidy my flat it ends up worse than when I started. I'm taking that as a sign from God that I shouldn't tidy my flat.

Can we post tubgirl?

Was it, fair enough. I tried Googling it but got some scary results. Wouldn't try it at work.

There was a Spannish player a while back who tried to distract an opponent taking a free kick by shoving his finger up his arse. Can't for the life of me remember their names.

Pretty sure the Germans were voted as being the rudest people in Europe in some poll once. Conclusive evidence I know, but I've seen some pretty rude Germans abroad. Once was on a school trip where we were visiting Burg Eltz Castle. We were all (12 year old kids) stood waiting for the mini bus to take us up quite a long steep hill away from the castle and a succession of German adults were just barging past us onto the minibus. When our teacher complained to the driver (in fluent German) he just shrugged and drove off.

I'd drop BWP or Moran, who were never actually convicted of anything, in place of Van Gobbel. Although having said that the Dutch Police never caught him, so I'm not sure that counts as being arrested.

Didn't think watching West Ham was that exciting.

Don't forget the radio and the ermm... catering.

Didn't James Beattie take about 10 games to get on the score sheet at all in the Cup Final season? Give him time and patience and he will start scoring again.

You've overlooked his appalling use of "we're" when he means "were". A much more severe crime I'd have thought. Back on topic, I hope getting beaten up by some big nasty bullies didn't ruin their special day out.

Thought we played them off the park to be honnest. We may not have had that many chances in front of goal, but we completely controlled the game. Excellent in midfield and didn't give them a sniff at the back. If we play like that for the rest of the season we will go up, no question. Such a shame their cup final was a complete none-event. If their fans had walked out after hitting the post in the first minute, they'd have missed f**k all. Saints were really good, both individually and as a team. Davis - 6 Didn't have much to do. Not sure about the kicking. Butterfield - 6 Wasn't really challenged Fonte - 8 Excellent. Played the ball out of defence so comfotably. Seaborne - 8 Much less hoof than less season. Looked comfortable. Harding - 8 Got forward well and was never out of control at the back. Puncheon - 7 Had a good game. Could have scored when 1-on-1, but the ref brought it back for a free kick. Hammond - 8 Ran the midfield with Morgan. Schneiderlin - 8 Ran the midfield with Hammond. Lallana - 7 Needs to regain a bit of fitness and sharpness, but still looked lively. Lambert - 6 Two well dispatched penalties, but still isn't there in open play at all. Barnard - 8 Ran his socks off.

Doubt we'd be bringing in other clubs crocked players. I'd imagine he's just unfit and out of favour.