Lighthouse

To win this we’re going to need a nun so slutty that even Richard Dawkins thinks she needs Jesus.

F**k me! You know those low budget zombie movies which are so bad they’re hilarious? Our starting XIs now have an essence of genuine camp.

Je suis Chelsea.

That clips is actually a perfect amalgamation of recent Saints strikers. There’s the first touch of a shire horse from Tall Paul, the blast it straight at the keeper a yard away and feign disappointment from Adam Armstrong and the ‘just knock it into an empty net from two feet away with any part of your body, except your… oh FFS!’ From Che Adams.

Putin literally offering the Americans stolen material as a bribe for being on their side. F**k me, this situation gets more morally contemptible by the minute.

Remember in the summer when we were supposedly trying to get sign this bloke. Looks every inch the complete Saints striker to me.

Where is this idea coming from that all goalkeepers must definitely be very slow? It’s not 1973 any more, keepers aren’t just the fat kid who was too crap to play outfield at school. Raya is a 29 year old, 6ft professional athlete on one of the toughest fitness and diet regimes in professional sport and unlike JWP hasn’t spent the whole game tirelessly chasing around in midfield.

I don’t think Lineker is interested in management jobs.

Imagine laughing at a player who’s just bust a gut running from his own six yard box to the halfway line, at the end of a 99 minute battle with Rice, Partey and Odegaard, to help his side see out a win at the Emirates. I’d take him over some of the utterly pathetic attempts I’ve seen from our own players to track the runners who stroll casually through our midfield.

You can ignore Everton and post all the laughing emojis you want, it won’t change the facts. Burnley in 2021/22 Dyche - 24 points from 30 games - 0.8 points per game Caretaker manager Mike Jackson - 11 points from 8 games - 1.4 points per game Dyche was once a reasonable enough manager at Burnley. Now he’s yesterday’s man. He’s not the answer to our problems and he won’t come in and make us hard to beat playing ‘4-4-f**king 2’.

He got them relegated, was sacked in April and his replacement immediately won the next three games, they were then promoted as Champions with 101 points the following season. Hope this helps (I notice you've ignored Everton's fortunes and how utterly dire they were to watch until Dyche was sacked).

Dyche is not the answer and would not make us hard to beat. Both Burnley and Everton have seen massive improvement after they sacked him.

He's a competent PL goalkeeper but saying he's too good for us is the wrong mentality if we're serious about being a PL club. We needed to sign a solid half a dozen players of his calibre in the right positions to have a chance of staying up and instead we signed two, Fernandes being the other. Our problem is that signings like Lallana, Wood and BBD were so pathetically far below the standard required that the couple that are half decent look out of place.

"A tactical change is needed." The tactics we've tried so far this season The weird U shape formation in a couple of the early fixtures No recognised striker at Bournemouth Passing patiently around the defence and retaining possession Four at the back against Spurs Getting it forward direct and early to Tall Paul Fullback tombola with KWP, Bree, Welington, Suga, Manning andTaylor being tried at various times as full backs, wing backs and outside CBs. Aribo dropping in at CB Surrendering the central midfield to allow for extra defenders Every combination of TP, Archer, Sully and AA up front, with none of them managing more than two goals. How many tactical changes are we going to try before people stop demanding tactical shanges?

I’d have him in front of Morgan and Wanyama in the role Davis used to play.

He's the Deutsch Nugent.

My opinion has been consistent all season, I'm sorry I can't make it fit everybody else's alternative version of reality. No manager is going to compensate for the atrocious players we have at the club. Many people believe Martin should have been sacked after the six games, now people want Juric sacked after nine. If it was down to popular opinion we'd get through five or six managers a season because guess what, nobody we can realistically appoint is going to do noticeably better.

😂 How many managers have we been through in the PL since we sacked him? Four, all of which have achieved absymal results, and if you ask a fair few people I'll bet they say we need to sack Ivan and make it five. There is no magic formula by which you can do anything other than regularly lose with the players we've had. The people who need to 'bore off' are the one's whose tedious, predictable answer is always, "the manager has got to go FFS!!! No way he keeps his job after that result FFS!!" 18th, roughly a point per game and fighting relegation, that was it, that's as good as this squad is/was. The fact that a teenager getting injured crippled our season just showed bad the rest of them were.

We were just above Bournemouth when we got sacked and I think only a point or two from safety. If Lavia hadn't been injured, Ralph wouldn't have been sacked and we'd have stayed up. He wasn't 'done' when we sacked him, we just kept giving him progressively sh*tter players and achieved the results they warranted.

No, he took over a side that drew 0-0 with Fulham and lost his first six games. The third was every bit as bad as the Spurs game, the second would have been with better finishing. Palace had 19 shots, of which 10 were on target.

We did not. Everyone got excited because we had an okay half against West Ham, going in 0-0 at half time and TP winning a handful of headers, but that was as good as it ever got. His second game was the 1-2 against Palace that could easily have been 1-5, they were all over us, his third game was the Brentford game which could so easily have been 0-7.

I think you're looking at it the wrong way round; I don't see how anyone can be angry at something so utterly pathetic, predictable and repetitive. Saints are like the kid with the deadbeat dad who 'goes out for a pack of fags' and isn't seen for three years. After enough missed Christmas', birthdays and everything else, the kid doesn't get upset they just stop caring. TBH there's very little any of the board can do at this stage of proceedings. This season was set in stone even before we got promoted, with our failure to appoint any kind of competent DoF in charge of player recruitment. We've tried replacing the manager, at considerable expense, which is basically the default option for any club in trouble, but it was never going to change our fortunes.

I'm not saying Russell Martin is a PL manager. I am saying that I have got a f**king clue what we've gained from the millions it cost to replace him.

Look on the bright side, we did better than England are doing in the rugby.

Yes, that's very impressive but we need to ask you a few questions.