Lighthouse

No, we really didn't. In spite of all the ghillie suits and binoculars, this was always a serious accusation with serious repercussions. We've basically been cheating to win games all season, Tonda wont be respected by anyone outside the club and probably not by a fair few of our own players. He's got to go.

He can't stay after this. Get him gone asap and start working on his replacement.

It's not disproportionate, it's a sporting penalty for cheating which gained us a sporting advantage. We don't deserve to be in the playoffs, so how is getting kicked out of them disproportionate? This isn't some catering regulation or away fans allocation we've knobbled. We've knowingly and illegally gathered information to help us win games of football. People were just hoping for some sort of fine which we could absorb into the accounts over several years, claim as a tax write-off some how and through creative accounting only cost us one Moussa Djenepo in 2031's summer transfer window. Wishful thinking.

They aren’t going to fine a club £200m and let us potentially get promoted, having cheated. Both those things would be silly in isolation but combined would be an absolute farce. We’d basically be insolvent and having to sell any player of value in a Championship squad, whilst playing Arsenal and Man City. The PL would have kittens.

What on earth are you talking bout? The club/owners have just been kicked out of a playoff worth over £100m, how is that not a punishment?

You think this club can’t possibly sink any lower. You watch us last season, signing mid table Championship players to play in the PL, finish on 12 points and think, "surely we can’t get any more pathetic than this." Then we go and do something like this. Now we’re not even honest in our incompetence. The bloke was f**king standing there next to a tree, videoing a training session for a game which was worth £100m. What on earth did the people who authorised think was going to happen?! Boro just wouldn’t notice him there and we’d get away with it? A lot of people need sacking for this, probably Tonda included. It’s inexcusable. How much of an absolute tw*t does THB look now, with his binoculars celebration, gloating about being caught cheating.

Let’s just accept that Spurs were never going to go down, as per the Everton rule, and just enjoy West Ham being garbage.

You have to wonder just what's going on with Orr to not even get tried out ahead of three or four awful opening batsmen.

VAR is the football equivalent of three ‘expert’ naturalists staring at a photo of a duck for six minutes and deciding it’s a giraffe.

I’m still expecting some sort of Scooby Doo-esq plot twist, where they catch the spy in a big fishing net, pull his mask off and it was Rudi Skacel the whole time.

Makes sense, especially if he’s been having injury issues. Our county team really is out for the count now, with Vince and Daws gone, our best player turning 39 next month and our other overseas slot being filled by whichever mediocre journeyman fancies a game in any given week.

Different time zone. Hull is 64 years and 3 hours behind London.

It's only libel if it's not true. There seems to be no denial on our part for this, so I don't see how it would be libelous.

Je suis Gibson.

Can’t wait for this! Just booked flights over from Darwin and a hotel in London for me and little Timmy, the poor orphan whose dying wish is to see Saints play at Wembley. Everything is non-refundable and it wasn’t cheap, so I had to sell one of my livers, but it’ll all be worth it to see the smile on Timmy’s face. Right, that should guilt the EFL into not kicking us out of the final.