Lighthouse

It looks like he went and booted that blue 16 for no reason at all, the guys wasn’t even pushing and shoving. Looked like a complete d*ck move to me.

One day the work experience kid is going to stick the balls in the microwave for a bit too long and it’ll be like that bit in Home Alone where he grabs the door knob.

I’d say that came from matey behind taking a flying leap onto his shoulders and slamming his head into the post, rather than a punch. Proper lump that though.

We once bet MK Dons four times in a season, I doubt we’ll ever eclipse that as an achievement.

WTF was that?!

It was a red all day long and why would VAR be 'worried' that a big team would get knocked out?

I applied to that show. Told them I had an unstable personality and a strong prejudice against Swedish lingerie models. I never got a reply.

Imagine being 1-0 up, getting a man sent off on '38 and thinking, "right, nothing silly. Let's just see it through to half time and... oh fudge."

At what point do you start calling this WW3, I wonder? If you include USA, Israel, Iran, Lebanon, Yemen, Russia, Ukraine, Venezuela, UK, Azerbaijan, Sri Lanka, all the gulf states, Cyprus and the Kurds as all being involved one way or another, there's quite the Royal Rumble going on.

The clamps have really come off Villa's nipples too, two wins in nine league games. How are you guys liking my new metaphors?

West Ham winning and Forest drawing as it stands. If it was to stay like this Spurs, really would be dangling their b*llocks into the marmalade of relegation.

I vaguely remember Ralph being the only manager in English league history to win Manager of the Month for July. No idea if that's actually true but we were pretty mighty behind closed doors.

I don't know how often it has to be said but people got the hump with Puel because he played for 0-0s at home, including against crap teams, like Stoke, Hull, Bournemouth and Be'er Sheva. He went to Leicester and they were equally unimpressed, he hasn't been seen in England since and has also had the boot from St Etienne.

I'm no economist but surely the price is going up because they can deliver less of it? I can't imagine prices would be going up if they were able to deliver literally the same quantity.