100%Red&White

If they "wont be used all the time" you'll be better off with Li-Ion (which most up-to-date power tools now use) as they hold a charge, so you'll just be able to pick it up and use it even after weeks of non-usage. The power doesn't just gradually fade like NiMh, once it's used its charge it just stops. NiMh or NiCds will discharge fairly quickly when not in use.

This always seems appropriate this time of the year... If Men Wrote Problem Pages Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing — your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal Q: My husband doesn't know where my cl*toris is. A: Your cl*toris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal. Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.

Got my first 'skinhead' at his brother's (Eddie-short-back-and-sides-Horn) barbers across the road from our old house in Shirley. Kitted out the 1976 FA Cup Final team with those beige suits.

Percy Horns - just round the corner.

More likely Hampstead Heath these days and I'm sure we've all heard what goes on up there.

Yeah but 4000 Cockney Reds on the chuffers.

F'kin superb. How I miss that old 'Ted-thread'

A p*mpey lad was giving his sister one when she started laughing. "What's so funny?" he asked. She replied "you f*ck like dad", he said "yeah, that's what mum says".................

Surprised old Fergie hasn't chucked this in there before now as he's playing down here on Saturday. Usually does it to opponents for a little disruptive mind games. Guess he was happy Wenger was doing his job for him - not that he'd be overly worried about third division Saints - but after Leeds last year.

Losing Lallana for a few games has exposed the fragility of our squad, we need to get in some quality (not easy in the third division) but if selling OXO results in that then it cushions the (inevitable) blow. £5m up front is a significant warchest in this division or the Championship, I just hope we can attract the quality needed at this level. Best hope is that Man City come in and gazzump everyone with a higher bid and we get a big % sell-on clause as he's unlikely to last past a couple of seasons up there.

Arsenal's. Shouldn't you be happy?

Hopefully you're right and as you say a cracking terrace for away supporters, like a flashback to the 'good old days' in the 70s. Will be good to get a few up there.

The only bugger is they've only given us 500 terrace tickets and 700 seats in a separate stand and I'd imagine they're unlikely to give us any more terrace tickets until that lots sold. 1200 aint a bad turnout up there for a game live on Sky but the 500 on the terracing will be rattling around a bit. Hopefully the club will push for extra terrace all the same.

I used to quite like EofA's posts - now tell me you're just joining in with the tongue-in-cheek sarcy stuff and you don't really mean it - do ya? Anyway, United will make lots of noise and most Saints fans will just stand there in eyes wide open, jaw dropping admiration. Suggestion, when they get their songs going, whistle, jeer and then start singing loud. and keep it going.

Not necessarily, depends on the grade used. Had he used a finer grit, an M2 or F2 for example, he'd no doubt be facing a lesser charge.

Funnily enough my mate was arrested in B&Q at the weekend, he's been charged with attempted murder after attacking a man with sandpaper. Said he only intended to rough him up a bit................................

What a hideous site that was - probably nice for them to experience a big crowd for a change though. Trailer trash.

Rumour that Fergie's pulled out as well. They've got money problems at Old Trafford and have just laid off 15 from the payroll. The 10 referees and 5 linemen are reported to be devastated.

That's f**kin inconvenient. Can't see the OB agreeing to an early KO with the prospect of thousands of Saints fans (will we get 3000 for this one?) piling out the ground and into the nearest pubs, mingling with Plymouth, the navy boys and every other thug to watch the England game. C'mon Saints and C'mon England.

Corpy-Ho-Ho-Ho "Better to keep your mouth closed and be thought a fool than to open it and remove all doubt"?

Man City generally buy players to go straight into the first team, they don't need to develop young'uns while they've got all that cash backing. That's not to say they wouldn't get involved if only to stop their rivals getting hold of him. That's why we could end up with £10m up front!

By "substantial bids" could that have been referring to big new contract offers to Lallana, OXO and Guly?

All these fans that "can't afford" to go to this one, what are you going to do if we get back to the Prem? Every home game is going to be, at the very least, £30. If you really can't afford it you have my sympathy but, as much as we'd all have liked it to be £25, I don't think an extra fiver is that unreasonable for a visit of the League leaders and I'm sure there's plenty of others more than willing to take your place.

I can picture Ince sat at home this morning with his head in his hands sobbing "oh f**kin no, not again, why me, why me?"

This should tie in with making the Chapel the new 'Kop' and rename it after the great man. There would immediately be an emotional attachment to that stand.