rallyboy

Population of the UK - 67 million. Number of people sectioned each year under the mental health act - 50k. Number of people who think Boris should be on a ballot paper - 10k. Ratio of Jedi followers in the UK to Johnson followers - 39/1 Finished, he is.

I'm more concerned about the quality of all our centre backs rather than the quantity.

Should we really be surprised when people who Johnson has abused for six years choose to be uncooperative with solving our problem? His aggressive and dismissive policy towards foreigners, adopted to placate the 95% white membership who will decide our next PM, has been a masterclass in how not to negotiate or influence others for our benefit. The Dover sky is dark with chickens.

Did anyone look into the legality of introducing IQ tests at Polling Stations?

When you've happily sat around a cabinet table where shitbombs have been detonated most days, it's very difficult to wander around dripping and caked in shit pretending that you weren't there. But the handful of members will get what they want for their final years, Johnson Continuity - and if it's Truss, and I so hope it is because that will be shambolic, it'll be Johnson Continuity with extra comedy value. Invest in popcorn and incontinence pants before the market moves - demand will be unprecedented if Truss is unleashed.

Mr Johnson is clearly unwell and has presumably been removed from office for his own wellbeing. His delusion, and his general confusion between facts and what he claims has happened is quite alarming, and if it wasn't some poor washed-up saddo having a very public breakdown, some might find it hilarious. The polite thing to do is to let him slip quietly away spouting self-congratulatory nonsense all the way to a padded cell, where he can then be given the meds and counselling that he so obviously requires. What a sad end to a career that never started.

If we spent £30m on a player who stopped trying halfway through the season, I would campaign to have Ralph sectioned.

This is an issue that should have been addressed up to six years ago. If the culture secretary wasn't a sycophantic and abusive drunk who lacks knowledge in every field, the sector might be in a better place. Then again, 17.4 million people did vote for touring musicians to be fucked over, so there's arguments both ways.

Stone.

Byebye - and thanks for the six months of hard work and dedication to the cause.

No, it doesn't. She is completely out of her depth and should be number one on the new PM's cull list of people who were overpromoted purely to follow the big dog around, tell lies and pick up shit. Chuck in her poisonous attitude to struggling families and low paid workers this week and the good people of Fareham have been given a fresh view of their MP.

Penny was also very keen to repeat all the made-up stuff about pompey when they went out of business the 3rd or 4th time, such as the club bringing £13m of business into the city for every home game, and at the time she basically said the taxman could do one for their debt - she will say literally anything for votes, even if it is deluded. It'll be like Boris never left. If he ever does.

Following the worst cabinet in history, the reserve team immediately demonstrates why they weren't allowed near power before - two of the newbies couldn't even make it into the building without dropping a clanger. Looking at the 'skills' of people like Shapps, Patel, Truss, Zahawi and Dorries, I fear most departments must be in absolute chaos right now and will require major overhauls. Johnson has turned us into a shambles of a country - leading the world?? God help us, get some decent people in for a change, please.

It's so refreshing to hear all of the PM candidates rolling out great new ideas on every subject from education to transport. Last week - not a single idea between them, just plodding along defending big dog, parroting nonsense. This week when there's a greasy pole to climb - loads of great ideas!

It's difficult to sell the idea that the party has learned anything when there are idiots like her being appointed.

Grant Shapps? 🤡 Oh man, we'll have Grayling up next, this is getting beyond silly. They do realise that Boris is going nowhere and will need to be forcibly evicted?

It's all the made-up spin shit that needs to stop if the Conservative party is to learn from the failure of appointing a corrupt clown and his c**t circus, and to actually start governing. Inventing a ministerial job today for the dangerously insane Peter Bone is a ridiculous way to launch a new era, it's just rewarding a Johnson nutter with a huge future payoff for spouting lies. This suggests nothing has changed, no lessons have been learned, and the Eton gravy train is just merrily plodding on taking the piss out of us, and the system. Will the new PM be just another toxic jockey for a lame old horse, or will there be some new blood and a fresh direction? At the moment we've stopped a drink driver who has recorded three times over the limit, given him his keys back and asked him to drive carefully - Johnson has to go, he's not moved a fucking inch, and he won't. Change needs to come, for everyone.

The main positive with mass resignations is that a generation of unemployable yet over-promoted yes-men and women are leaving the building to never be seen again - presumably all thinking that this will just be a cool and temporary moral stand because they're so good the new leader will be desperate to reappoint them...but those phones will never ring. The silence of the sheep.

The rest of the cabinet do realise that this isn't the end of it and they will still forever be the worst cabinet in history? They have sat around that table and encouraged the corrupt crook to randomly ejaculate and throw his shit everywhere for the last few years, so they will always be covered in it. As for Zahawi - he's a fucking piece of work, this will be about three U-turns in 72 hours. I can't wait to hear his simple explanation of what changed during his tea break.

The warm-horsed slippery question-dodger Zahawi is parroting the newest PR script. Delivering, global Britain, first tax cut in ten years, delivering, at war, unprecedented, delivering, global Britain, taxcut, delivering.... It's more hollow spin - they think ALL of us are stupid. A good start would be taxing energy companies' enormous profits that have in some cases tripled in the last few months. Perhaps we could then look at that poor little charity Eton College and its tax-free £650m?

Is Raab really thick and out of his depth or is he just limited by a very poor defence script? Either way he's having a shocker today.

Badminton and tennis ultras are incredibly annoying, they make a hell of a racket.

Johnson Hill is no place to make a last stand, you might valiantly fight off five or six scandals but you'll inevitably die there and be buried alongside your street cred.

Dorries is a great example for anyone who still believes that the UK media is balanced. Had Diane Abbott made anywhere near the number of mistakes that Dorries has, she'd be on the front page every day. Ditto the current news blackout on sex in the foreign office. Had Corbyn or Starmer been caught cheating on a partner who was being treated for cancer, by having sex in the office and trying to get the fancy bit in question a £100k a year job on the back of it, do you think perhaps the papers might give it more than the current coverage of Johnson's corrupt car crash of a lifestyle? Wake up readers of The Sun, Mail, Express etc, you're just buying a press release.

My final memory of Long was in the last minute of the vital win against Arsenal - he gave everything and chased down their keeper to block a clearance which would have seen the ball in our half in injury time. At a time of the season when Broja and several others had downed tools, Shane showed that even if you are short of world-class talent, giving 100% makes a difference. He ran, he chased, he hassled, he fell over, and occasionally he scored - cheers Shane, all the best.