rallyboy

When Che Adams sits on the bench watching you miss decent chances and then wanders on and casually shows you how to take a half-chance, you've got a problem.

I've dropped you, you're stood on the line holding the half-time oranges. I've got some apples so they don't feel left out.

Barton is just after attention. We've had decades of terrible pundits that he had no problem with...ignore him, he's still a moron, but at least he isn't a racist murderer so we must give him credit for that.

When the whole team was playing at 5mph and he was just playing short pedestrian passes sideways and backwards he didn't look great, but since we got the hang of moving the ball quickly he looks much better and is cool under pressure. He's no KWP but he's much improved, as are many.

see below! 🙂

While it's good to move with the times, that whole non-competitive element is nothing new. About a hundred years ago when I was coaching my son's school team I was summoned to see the head teacher and advised that I was putting too much emphasis on playing well and trying to win, when all we were doing was training, and playing in proper positions in a league. It was also made very clear that the star centre forward who was miles above the level of everyone else should be given less game time and if possible, the performance levels of the whole group, including his, should be lowered to the quality of the least-useful player. The good player should be sidelined, and forced to be mediocre... I didn't think that was a particularly good way to prepare kids for sport, a competitive world, or a way to teach them how to accept not being the best at anything. Hopefully things have improved.

That laughable manipulation of figures and the quiet reclassifying of cases today suggests that they still think we are all as thick as a Boxing Day turd. Why don't they just revise small boat sizes or legally redefine them all as rafts? That would instantly Stop the Boats - the same approach made unsafe Rwanda, safe overnight.

The best players are those with the skill and confidence to play out from the back - and the judgement to know when to hoof it into the car park. Hopefully lessons were learned.

Hello, is that the Twat Farm? I think you must have had a fence come down over Christmas, yes, there's a few running wild again...

I've been triggered by hearing about those horrendous incidents in Porridge and The Sweeney, I need an apology from someone, compensation, and six months off work.

5-0 and unbeaten in ages, I think I'll just quietly enjoy this moment while it's here...it doesn't happen often, breath it in.

One of the best winger displays of recent SMS years - destroyed his marker at every opportunity and had end product as well, even found time for some tracking back when needed. Great performance.

I see the boss didn't travel back with the players because he and the coaches were going straight back to the training ground to review the video and prepare for Boxing Day. Great commitment, he deserves success, just for making the matchday experience 50 times better than the past two seasons - we're in a good place right now, let's enjoy it. COYR

the secret to a long spell in government is ensuring the electorate is mildly sedated so they never realise there are better options out there...

When did it become okay to drive a shopping trolley around town? As they chose to go shopping it can't have been a surprise to discover they had shit to carry home - take a bag you lazy fuckers, and stop dumping trolleys everywhere. No wonder some of them don't drive well, they've done the housing estate Dakar.

The last figure I saw quoted in Israeli press was in the region of 700 innocent civilians, plus military. Clearly still a horrific terrorist atrocity, but in this media war where we have already been told of various horrendous aspects that have since been disproved, the facts are getting lost - sometimes by accident, sometimes intentionally.

Where does that figure come from?

Hamas took a significant early lead on the war crimes scoreboard, but Israel have come back strongly. We're heading for extra time, though with every new atrocity, the inhumane momentum now appears to be with the Israeli government.

I wouldn't trust her to operate a stapler, let alone a printer.

I think I'm slightly more annoyed when broadcasters ask us to check out a brilliant goal in the WPL that turns out to be a shinned shot that bobbles straight through a keeper or a sliced cross that goes over a midget. Similar things in the male game - what a brilliant save! No, it was shot straight at him, he couldn't have dodged it if he'd tried. That's right in the top corner!, nah, it's a metre and a half inside the post. On reflection I think it might just be annoying people of both sexes, and some in between.

Maybe it's just me but I wasn't drawn to look at any of the words on that front page.

Don't knock Rishi for being a terrible PM, he has great catering and a radio station.

Even those who are Gullis-thick must see that the Rwandan fiasco has now been exposed as a ridiculously overpriced PR stunt which basically ties the UK into a pointless refugee swap. The whole mad distraction has only ever existed to keep other issues off front pages. But today is a big day for speechwriters, I expect Mr Party, the floppy-haired Eton death clown to bang out a greatest hits set featuring - Unprecedented, Big Calls, Vaccinations, Shoulder to the Wheel, Arms around Business, Working all Hours, Straining every Sinew, and the big Christmas hit, Followed the Science.

I went to that 1981 FA Cup defeat at Goodison, it was a dismal performance, got home at 5am.

Another manufactured storm in a teacup.