*Halo*

I'd imagine £268,175 is probably just 0.04% of the total due.

Results couldn't have gone much better than they did, except for an extra couple of points for Plymouth. It was Probably the best Tuesday Night in the World! We were having a great laugh watching it all unfold 'round my Dad's, on Carlsberg Score Centre. Just about mate.

Haha, glad to see the re-run was enjoyed. It is good to take a periodic look back at the criminal shenanigans those nasty little c*nts have got away with over the years. Their "History" is something that is very important to them. I use the word 'history' with an ironic smirk of course. As a club that is all of four years old - history is something they don't really have a lot of yet. But it is important to reflect on the sheer extent of the criminality and astounding levels of debt they were able to happily blow off over the years, in their 'divine right' to be "competitive". If we do not hold up the mirror of truth in the face of their deluded P*rtsmythery, then no-one will. The FA played their part, of course, but let's not forget the way the FL conspired with them, to assure one of the spectacularly pluckiest downfalls in history. Everyone knows that conspiracy was FACT and went right to the very top of the Establishment, with those nasty HMRC bullies inventing massive debts that never even existed, just to stitch them up. Tis the stuff of P*rtsmythonian lore. Daft question, it would look bloody superb and you know it! Perhaps Halo can upload/download link it so we can print off some high resolution copies for next Xmas (?). Sadly it was made back in the days when I was still using an antiquated system with an old 1024x768 resolution monitor... and was designed to fit my screen. So there is no higher res version available. What you have right there above, is the only one there is. I'm not sure I could produce something of the same quality again, as my old go-to editing software (the original Macromedia Fireworks) died with my old machine, and all I have to work with now is the GIMP programme. Still a decent bit of kit, but I could literally do anything with Fireworks, and I knew it like the back of my hand. Money is way too tight to afford to pay for a new Fireworks or Photoshop. And unlike some fishy c*nts I could mention - if I cannot afford something - I have the intelligence to understand that I just have to make do with what I have. However... the thought of knocking up a new one for next Christmas is certainly an intruiging idea. There are so many characters to choose from. Who would we retain from the current calendar for massiveness of overall impact, and who else has earned the immortalisation of their place in Saga History? Haha, I never saw that one first time around, good effort. To be fair to them, their own original piece was some nice artwork. The message behind it and the imagery may have been anal to the max - but the design and cutting was pretty flawless. There's a first. Never thought I'd see myself link the word 'flawless' with anything to do with p*mpey in the same sentence. No no no no no, they are always joint top, my dear Munster. Just falling rapidly behind on "Points Difference". (Cheers for that one Rallyboy. Another classic!) Can see the end of season headlines in my mind already: "Plucky p*mpey's season ends in heartbreak as they finish Joint Top - but just fall short of the Top Half on Points Difference". Some tasty scorelines from the Fourth Division today. Mighty Mansfield coming from behind to beat the footbaling powerhouse of Dagenham & Redbridge 3-2, Accrington are victorious at Oxford, and Bristol Rovers come from behind to take three points at home to mighty Morecambe. All of whom leapfrog the pluckiest on Points Difference. Couple that with a Carlisle home victory, with Orient and the Wombles winning away - and that leaves our fishy fiends just three points off a slippery slide down to 12th. Can hardly wait for the excitement of Tuesday night.

Some massive games coming up in the promotion race for those in the Football League's "Bottom Feeders" Division over the next two games. Northampton v Wycombe and Oxford v Accrington this weekend... followed by a 'mouthwatering' Tuesday night, that sees such massive clashes as: Accrington v Notts County Exeter v Oxford Yeovil v Plymouth The skate c*nts are away to the mighty Yeovil on Saturday, and face a tough examination away at Barnet on Tuesday eve. Failure to take at least 4 points from these games if other results go against them, could see the bestest most massivist world famousiest dozy giant club ever to exist (about six or seven different times under various versions of the name) fall significantly behind the top three. Good thing that no matter what happens, they'll still be joint top. That must come as a huge relief to their gigantic worldwide fanbase. Good to see the last few pages enjoying a nice reminiscing of some of the golden eras and colourful characters involved in the Saga over the years. In that vein, whilst it is not currently Christmas, here's a reminder of some of the epic fun we've had together, laughing our asses off at the collective calamity that is P*rtsmyth FC -- or whatever they're currently trading as this time. It's been a few years since I first shared it, hopefully it will be fresh for some of our newer arrivals, but worth another chuckle nonetheless...

So, the hilarity never ceases on the Isle of Delusions. My lungs are f*cked from laughing so much at some of the previous pages. Anyway, it seems that Danny Osvaldo has finally found his level, not to mention the perfect club for him. A c*nt amongst c*nts:

Ah, then you have missed most of my best work here. 187 Posts in ten years, and probably about half of them in that topic. Quality over Quantity. The Appleton Way. I'll give you Sunderland over Sheffield United. I just really don't like Sunderland very much, and love a good Sheffield derby. I like to see as many big derby games as possible in the top flight. West Ham -- their ommission was an oversight on my part. Agree they should probably be in there, but I'm keeping Birmingham, so you can take out my Ipswich. The Coventry side I remember in the top flight growing up, used to play with real fire and passion, used to love the atmosphere at Highfield Road, and they were often a good side to watch, even when they were struggling. They were up there with us all the way through my childhood and teens, so I feel they belong there. West Brom have always either just bored the f*ck out of me, or been a really dirty negative side, then became a typical yo-yo club, so for those reasons, they missed the cut. I grew up with the Norwich City who were a regular top flight side, and achieved two 3rd place finishes, a 4th and a 5th in that time. They played a wonderful slick passing brand of football and exciting wing play, in the days of Ruel Fox, Jeremy Goss, Trevor Putney, Chris Sutton, Dale Gordon, Robert Fleck etc. For me that Norwich team definitely stays. Stoke / Leicester, as you say, flip a coin, but I used to travel away with my Dad a lot when I was younger and he was in better health -- and the atmosphere at the old Victoria Ground always got my attention. Always felt like we were visiting a 'proper club'. I didn't get that same intensity from Filbert Street, plus Leicester weren't up there with us as much as Stoke in my formative years, so I'll keep my Stoke. It's logical that my childhood and teens years effectively established my own expectations as to what was the footballing 'norm'. It's a natural progression that those clubs who spent most of our 27 unbroken years in the top flight with us whilst growing up through those times, will be the ones we remember as the biggest. A forum like this one spanning such a wide age range, is going to have a lot of different answers to this question. I'm happy enough that mine are at least also 'in line' with the definitions of the OP. I mentioned Sheffield United. I also included Coventry. As you say, they are deserving, and definitely if it was them or Sheff Utd.

That club doesn't exist anymore. And even if it did, when you had a "stadium" (I use the word loosely) that only held 21,000, and regularly couldn't fill it in the top flight -- you simply do not deserve consideration.

Decent topic idea. It is something that both my father and myself have a minor annoyance about, the number of quality football clubs that should be in the top flight, but for whatever reasons, have lost their status, and been unable to regain it. I think personally, it stems from the teams that used to be up there with us as I was growing up, during our 27 unbroken years at the top-table. Some massive clubs, particularly now stuck in the Championship, sides with large followings, being replaced with shíte like Wigan, Blackpool, Fulham, Hull, etc. All teams that were usually bottom two division clubs when I was a kid. I like to see the most competitive top-flight possible, and for me that includes the biggest Clubs, with the best fan-bases. Clubs that if they could get back up there now, with the size of their support, and the money the game is awash with now -- could soon become decent forces in the game again. Having sides that can barely generate a half-decent crowd and atmosphere, for me at least, detracts from the overall experience of the competition, and makes the league that much less exciting than it could be. I mean, who would you rather watch on a Sunday afternoon sky game, Hull vs Blackpool, and Wigan vs Fulham -- or Leeds Utd vs Sheffield Wednesday, Nottingham Forest vs Birmingham City? Clubs that could have a real potential to grow again, and bring more quality to the division? Anyway, here's mine: Manchester United Arsenal Chelsea Manchester City Liverpool Everton Southampton Tottenham Hotspur Newcastle United Nottingham Forest Leeds United Sheffield Wednesday Sheffield United Birmingham City Aston Villa Wolverhampton Wanderers Coventry City Stoke City Norwich City Ipswich Town

Jordan Sibley resigns...

Also known as the Danny Fox Role.

Close-ish. Tis Iain McInnes. The Father of the fish-f*ckers' 5th or 6th or 7th attempt (too many to remember) at running a football club without using dubious sources of dodgy cash that does not belong to them, such as loan sharks, child-maiming arms dealers, tax evasion, theft from local charities and businesses, poor lithuianian pensioners' life savings, plummetting into administration and blowing off the subsequent CVA's. He's got a lot to get off his chest too, as it happens. About 3 stone of fat for starters. Been drinking from the taps too much at Fatpipes Park, I suspects.

A few weeks back on Radio Solent (can't recall what game) -- he said that he (paraphrasing) "likes to play Yoshida there when he feels he needs more height at the back at set plays in certain games". Not sure if that relates particularly to his reasoning today, but as no-one had mentioned it yet, it does offer an answer to your question. Whether or not that extra height at the back is worth sacrificing a great right-back, to play a decent back-up Centre-Back who can't really play in that position to some level of competence, actually represents sound managerial thinking -- is of course somewhat dubious and up for debate.

Now of course, we all already know what an absolute c*nt of the highest order 'Arry Redkrapp is. But, why would you do this to a fellow proffessional...??? Klopp wasn't first choice, claims horrible, tax evading, gobby w*nker... I know the slimy fish fiddling t*sser has done much worse over the course of his life of corruption -- but what possesses you to call in live radio, to broadcast the fact that a new manager wasn't first choice? What business is it of his? Such a sad sh*t-stirring "look at me, I've got sources, I'm in the know" little c*nt. Not that I want Klopp or anyone to ever succeed at that self-inflated club, I do not. It is just a nasty and spiteful thing for Redkrapp to have done. I really f*cking hate that man.

It was the whole "Together as One" philosophy. It was more than just some nice media soundbite, or empty clichéd sentiment. It was a tangible asset, and something you could genuinely feel. Everything about the Club at that time, had that special connection running through it, and we as a Club, players, management, support, were truly united. I am convinced that the "Spirit of Southampton" factor we had seeping through the core of the Club, won us points on its own. There was just such a belief and unity in everything we did, that failure to achieve our goals just felt bordering on the impossible, for as long as we kept everyone together. Time passes, and now these few years down the road, and most of that core has moved on, and that same feeling of connection to our players has diminished somewhat during the transition -- but those times that we had -- the football we played, and the sheer enjoyment of being part of such a special journey, will always be a part of our history, that no-one can take away from us. That part of our journey has past, and we have since arrived at our destination, but we had it -- and those memories will last for the rest of our lives. In addition -- Crab Lungs, if you see this message mate -- do you still happen to have a copy lying around somewhere of that wonderful tribute site you made for us to all pass on our thanks and best wishes to Nigel? Would be nice to have a nostalgic scan back through some of the messages if possible. Thanks.

At first glance, I read that as -- once he settles in he'll be sold. For a longtime Southampton supporter - that sounds about right.

Would've Pm'd you this instead if I could, so apologies for going 'off-topic' on the thread (as if that were even 'a thing' on SWF, lol). Seriously mate - you shouldn't even allow it to register a blip on your radar. There is a (relatively) small group of regulars here who are 6-12 year old school children. I do concede it is possible they may actually be fully grown-assed men who still think and behave like they are 6-12 year old children -- but I llike to offer the benefit of any potential doubt, and assume the former. Back in the S4E days, you were one of a small group of posters I enjoyed reading so much that I joined up myself. You have been a highly respected member by many for a long time, across the various incarnations, and I'm sure there are many still around today who also appreciate your contributions over the years as I do. Let's be honest - you have kind of made a bit of an arse of yourself here in the not too distant past mate, and you know and accept why you got some stick off many at the time... but it doesn't help that some of the kids in the playground seem intent on never letting you forget it. Just try to remember what it was like when you had the mental age of a small child. Eventually either they'll get bored or grow out of it - or you'll simply grow a thick enough skin that such juvenile drivel just whooshes straight over your head, and doesn't bother you anymore in the slightest. For your sake, I hope its growth is a speedy one. Ohh, and that Stekelenburg lad - class 'keeper by the way.

If you lived in Somerstown - you'd probably think Syria looks like paradise too mate. It says something about your city, when moving to Syria is considered to offer a higher likelihood of enjoying a better way of life. If she was only "sitting" -- we could have avoided the lamentable South-Coast-wide, summer-long hosepipe ban, severe drought, and water-rationing that followed. It's when she's performing an ungainly, extravagantly explosive belly-flop that everywhere South of London starts building arks.

To be fair, the dopey degenerate denziens of that fat infested island swamp - should (and likely shall) celebrate this. Discounting statistics for things like: "Places where Inhabitants F*ck the Most Fish"; "Citizens Most Likely to Destroy their own Town after Winning a Football Match"; "Places where Incest is considered the Normal Way of Life" - and of course, "Highest Number of Paedophiles Per Capita" -- it is highly likely that this will be the last time residents of that filthy sh*t-hole will ever get to see p*rtsmouth listed above Southampton in a table. Just let the poor c*nts enjoy their moment in the limelight.

Best I could knock up in a couple of free moments -- but better than nothing mate.

To hopefully clear up the pronounciation - I texted my Portuguese mate, who had this to say for himself:

Didn't have much free time, so sorry it's a bit of a rush job:

Wow, just when you think that "journalism" can't get any worse, our dear friend and exemplary wordsmith Jordan Cross turns in an eight "pompey paragraph" Match Report. Complete with an ample array of sentence-splicing sleight-of-hand, to somehow manage to pad it out that far. Even this p!ss-take post offers more satiety in a head-to-head word-count. Some wonderful highlights include the evocative tag-lines: "bleak afternoon at Fratton Park" and "a black day for Pompey". Jordan Cross -- proving that the new true quality journalism™ is not simply a matter of producing detailed and engaging copy -- but rather an evolving art-form of linguistic Haute cuisine. Clearly it's another of those epic p*mpey Quality over Quantity type things. Just without the 'quality'. "Less-is-more" is the new en-vogue, cutting edge journalistic style - and The Snooze are the pioneering, trend-setting market leaders -- blazing a trail at the fore-front this new syntactical revolution, of saying absolutely f*ck-all and getting (presumably) well paid for it. It's either that -- or -- "p!ss-poor p*mpey" are just so sh!te that even their local rag can't be f*cked to write about them anymore. If things continue as "bleakly" as they are - (and this is p*mpy - so they probably will!) -- I can foresee even shorter Match Reports in the coming weeks:

As I have read around the web tonight, eagerly devouring a tasty selection of post-United desserts served up in the aftermath of a sweetly taken three points at the Theater of Tactical Ineptitude; I felt it would be nice to summarise a wonderful night's work in the City of Rain, by casting our glances over a selection from a fine array of more than complimentary reviews of our performance - as many sections of the media have dished us up the credit we deserve for yet another fine performance. Sunday Evening Media-watch: There was in general, an overall feeling that came across in the majority of the articles I surveyed, summed up very well by The Independent's Ian Herbert - that we deserved our win, and our place in the current top three - as "Southampton go ahead of Manchester United in the table on merit". Not only "a performance of discipline which serves to show that they are more than one of those interlopers at the top, who threaten in the dead of winter and are gone by Spring" - he enthuses, but also dares to suggest that this is a "victory that confirms their return to the form as genuine Champions League contenders". Playing the way that we are right now, exuding confidence from every pore, alongside a steely resolve that has seen us concede the fewest goals by a margin of four in the English Top-flight -- it is difficult to argue with Mr Herbert. So just smile, and enjoy basking in the reflected glory of our superbly coached and managed Team. Former regular Zonal Marking tactical scholar Michael Cox's analysis in The Guardian offers an interesting insight into our Ronald's sweetly savoured tactical triumph over long-time nemesis - His Supreme Arrogance, Louis Van Gaal - highlighting his astute system deployed to disrupt United's rhythm, with "plaudits for Southampton’s exceptional organisation" - and hailing it as "arguably their most impressive tactical display of the season", Michael's summary that "Southampton are capable of far better attacking football but, in terms of discipline and result, this was the perfect away performance" - seems just about right to me. Where it comes to the subject of 'giving credit where it's due' -- something that many a Saints fan will tell you over the years has not so often been the case for 'little old Southampton' -- the unfortunately named Ian Ladyman began strongly in his article for the Mail Online: "Previously, during the golden years, only the really big teams used to come to Old Trafford with victory in mind. Now, that invitation is open to anybody who has the courage, nerve and ambition to come and take it. Teams like Southampton, in fact." No, wait -- that can't be right. Louis Van Gaal said we came for a draw?! But -- "Koeman's team didn't win this match on the back of some kind of smash and grab. This was no backs to the wall hang on and hope operation. Not a bit of it." He continues... "Southampton came to Manchester looking to outplay United, while their manager came to prove himself tactically more astute than the compatriot with whom he once worked fractiously at Ajax. As the result suggests, both plans worked." Our Master Tactician at the helm of guiding the Good Ship Southampton's stoic course through some withering summer and early autumn storms where certain more "ambitious" rats deserted the prematurely declared 'sinking ship' to reunite with their 'missing heads' (some of which had bizarrely already washed up at the Port of Liverpool) - onward through the choppy waters and unrelenting rains of a cold wet six-game November-Pre-Christmas winless 'slump' -- and on into uncharted Premier League territory for The Saints, as we've answered our seemingly at times gleefully quick-off-the-mark critics, impatiently 'waiting for us to fail' - by proving that we were indeed harshly done by in our last run of games against some of the "Bigger" Clubs, nailing them second time around, and sailing into January deservingly occupying Third Place in the table. This squawka.com piece from Sam Long continues the theme of praise for our Tactical Wizard, focusing on his acknowledgement that we knew United's (and Van Gaal's) weaknesses, and ruthlessly exploited them. His observations that "the South Coast outfit produced a diligent and determined defensive display to curb the Red Devils attacking intent" nicely illustrating the resolve and composure with which we dealt with an increasingly desperate United, frustrating them throughout, to the point where they ran out of ideas, and exposed Van Gaal's lack of understanding of how to change the game, to stop us stopping them. To see Manchester United resorting to hoofing the old-fashioned 'snow-capped' yellow ball up to the uncultured mop of 'makeshift striker' Marouane Fellaini was a thing of great beauty. In such futile times, the attempted breaking down of such stubbornly well-drilled resistance, surely calls for the silky skills and fire-power of someone like £345,000-a-week Forward Radamel Falcao, wouldn't you say, Louis? Sam goes on to conclude that "the result moves Southampton, who were tipped to be relegation candidates at the start of the season, up to third place in the Premier League table and suggests their bid for a Champions League spot needs to be recognised." It does indeed Mr Long. Indeed it does. We're like a big fat proverbial 'white elephant' sat in the middle of the Match of The Day studio floor. And no lads - simply ignoring us and pretending we're not there, won't make us go away. It just reflects badly upon your impartiality credentials. Try celebrating our acheivement with us for what it is: a truly remarkable story, that is a credit to the game of football. In possibly the best encasulation of our play, not only today, but through the course of what has so far been an epic season - thepremierleagueowl.com attempt to assess "the true barometer of Ronald Koeman's Southampton success", with a decent read, focusing upon something the great-man himself likes to highlight, namely our superb organisation, and the way we defend as a unit. "Koeman’s side allowed fewer shots on goal per game than any other team in the division. That vividly portrays just how well constructed this team’s defensive shape is and just how good they’ve become at not only defending their own goal, but also their penalty-box." "Good defending is about restricting chance-creation" - Seb continues - "and, with their opponents averaging a paltry 9.3 attempts per game, Southampton have been doing that all year – and they continued to do it today". "There was almost no desperation to their play without the ball, it was mainly just well-drilled method." Nicely summed up. Southampton are a well oiled machine, and We March On. I'll finish up with this great read from The Mirror; focused upon who the f*ck is laughing now, and how our beautiful beligerant little Southampton have "routed the doubters", and just refuse to go away. The article is also fun due to it's eligibility for inclusion in the Defectors thread, with deliciously in-tune pointed jibes like: "their team’s magnificent season has been defined by glorious defiance of the grisly predictions made about their fate last summer" -- and "they are embarrassing a lot of their former doubters, not least the players who moved on to new pastures. Their victory over United meant that they have moved back ahead of every single player who moved on in search of greater glories." It also induced a wry smile to see a 'tip of the hat' toward the "masterly sarcasm" of our support. Talents that - whilst any regular Saints Web reader will be more than familiar with our qualities in that department, due to their very regular honings on this very board - it is still nice to see our abilities in this regard receiving the wider acknowledment that they deserve. We are Southampton. World Leaders in player development, training innovation -- and lacerating sarcasm. We don't care who you are -- we cut you to f*cking shreds, on the pitch, and off of it. Just thought I'd offer up some favourite reads of the evening, for anyone that missed them, to cap off another Defensive Masterclass and errudite display of Tactical Supremacy. F*ck the soulless plastic gloryhunting bandwagon jumping parade of so many deluded short-termist so-called football 'supporters' around the country, for whom "success" is something you attain by a simple switching of allegiances. Any such replected "glory" is ultimately hollow, empty, and meaningless. This is Our Team. Our Southampton, representing Our City and birthplace -- and we should be very very proud of them. I know I am.

I see the Wenger image has already been shared, this one is from the BBC: Deserves adding to our nice selection of face palm emoticons. As Saints take The Gooners apart at St. Mary's -- Arsene Wenger is 'reduced' to this. Awesome performance today, with let us not forget, still some key players of our own unavailable through injury and suspension. As each game passes, and we keep stringing the wins together, interspersed with hard battled for points along the way to keep the unbeaten runs and the momentum we've built going, it looks more and more like we could genuinely put in a serious challenge at the top end of the table. The players believe. They clearly have developed a strong bond of togetherness, forged a great belief in eachother, in Ronald Koeman, in the philosophy of the club, and the way we are playing. Slowly, it seems that our fanbase (of what to be honest, at times can be a depressing bunch of 'realists'), perennially daring not to lift our hopes, lest they be cruelly dashed in the manner we've become so accustomed to over the years; is even begining to come around to the idea, that the so called 'impossible dream', may just be edging one step closer to entering into the realms of reality. I do completely understand such deeply entrenched pessimism. It is a charactistic bred within our collective psyche over a long period of a great many footballing 'sufferings'. Yet as a New Year is kicked off with a 2-0 "stuffing" of 'The Arse' -- a hard-fought victory which could so easily have been vastly more resounding in manner with a little more composure in front of goal -- a marker and a platform laid down, from which we can galvanise and build upon - I would propose that it is time for us collectively, to gird our loins with the same character and belief in our players as they clearly have in themselves, as a TEAM to be reckoned with. Feet on the ground with Ronald Koeman masterfully leading the way - taking it each game as it comes. No fear of what the future may bring. This moment, right now, is where "#It'sHappening" - and for most of us who've been around a fair while, as Saints fans, 'the moment' rarely has been more 'magical' than it is right now. Just let go -- and enjoy the ride. #WeMarchOn

It's been a while since I last had time to contribute anything of note in our much loved nutjobs corner, but after reading through Jordan Cross's hilarious boxing day match report, I was inspired to fire up the long neglected editing software, and get to work. Fortunately I had some rare free time over the Chstmas period to start mocking something up, but have been back to work the last couple of days, and only just had time to finish it off tonight. It's not up to previous standards, but that can be blamed on shortness of time, and not having my old favourite go-to editor on my new system, so please excuse the 'unpolished' nature of the finished article. I'd have liked to have taken the time to go much more intricate with it, as there were so many golden oportunities with the screencap of JC's article, but I was very conscious already that the clock is ticking, another game has already passed since, and that if I didn't complete soon, publication might not have made it out before Pompey's accounts. They still haven't published them yet? What was I thinking!? So anyway, have yourself a merry little chuckle at the ever wonderful Jordan Cross first... http://www.portsmouth.co.uk/sport/pompey/pompey-crash-to-boxing-day-defeat-1-6492235 then come back for a game of 'spot the difference'. See how many you can find. I tried my best to keep to as short pompey-paragraphs as possible, but in the end, I just couldn't fit in everything I wanted, so had to resort to at least semi-literate 'journalism' in the end. Happy New Year my fellow nutjobs, and for our fishy friends down the road, let us hope that it is a most miserable and unprosperous one.