Saint_Pedro

A 1972 "classic" Ford Escort, in red. A veritable rust bucket and the easiest car EVER to break into. I lost count how many times it was broken into - I lost so many cassettes in those days....

Careful now - some members (like Chez) won't have you dissing little Drew. FWIW I think Surman has gone WAY downhill this season - doesn't seem to have the interest anymore (like many others, I know)

I just put the pooh into a pot and chuck it over the fence of the neighbour who owns the cat - they'll soon get the message.

What if he was a Muslim?

Yes, we're both white. Doesn't sound so bad now, eh?

Yes I am white.

Yes its racist, but I don't care because he's absolutely right - all bankers and politicians I've seen have blue eyes (except that one-eyed Scottish idiot)

He didn't mention his lucky Mr Blobby socks!! I heard him on the radio a few months back talking about player superstitions and he said his was to always wear his Mr Blobby socks on a matchday.

We were taught Physics by Brother Paul by standing around the outside of the classroom with our hands held out, and asked a physics question. If we got it wrong he'd hit our hands with a metre-long ruler. Scary at the time, but I learnt my physics as a result! You'd never see that happening these days ....

hypochondriac; Which member of staff? Anyone I would know? I'll drop you a PM - best not to name names on here, even if the accusations were a long time ago....

Just for my interest, JFP, on what basis do you believe that Catholics seem to get involved more than Protestants in these kind of matters? Don't you think its more of a case that the Catholic incidents get reported (as they are so much more scandalous) more regularly?

Sheesh - I was taught by him when I was there (mid 70's). A few years after I left he was accused of wrong-doings by a member of staff at the school, but I don't know if anything came of it. Seems there's no smoke without fire eh?

Another Jekyll & Hyde performance. Saints looked very very ordinary last night. I think I counted 3 shots from Saints all night with 2 on target. On that perfromance we do not deserve to stay up. Surman (as others have pointed out) played League 2 standard (as did Saga & James). Derby deserved a draw at least. The Ref was dreadful. I only hope Dr Jekyll turns up on Saturday

Cheer up folks, things could be worse ... read on..... Allegedly, In the UK, a pregnant woman can legally relieve herself anywhere she wants –even, if she so requests, in a policeman’s helmet. Royal Navy ships that enter the Port of London must provide a barrel of rum to the Constable of the Tower of London. In France, it is forbidden to call a pig Napoleon. In Kentucky, it is illegal to carry a concealed weapon more than six-feet long. (in which case how is it concealed?) In San Salvador, drunk drivers can be punished by death before a firing squad. Worse of all, In Indonesia, the penalty for masturbation is decapitation!

Manhattan's - now there was club and a half. Used to frequent it every Thursday and Friday, followed by a visit to a cafe around the back of Bedford Place which stayed open until 3am, just so we didn'tr have to go home. Ever go to Manhattan's in Bournemouth? Completely different atmosphere, IMO

Thanks for resurrecting my brain cells!! They were indeed magic evenings - I even got off with my first wife there!

I can only guess that this Hammy you speak of is over 40? Otherwise why would you say you're not of my age :roll: Does he still play indie/punk or has he matured? P.S. You're as young as the woman you feel

I don't recall Thursdays, but I remember Hammy used to do a Friday night with a big bloke (Neil?) at the old floating bridge club. Oh happy days ........ I wonder what Hammy's up to these days

Sounds like this is needed as an early Xmas pressie?

I'm probably in a minority but I think Surman is over-rated by many on here. He has no right foot (could have scored last night but he opted to move the ball to his left foot and the shot was charged down) and his tackling is poor - he often seems to pull out of a tackle when the likes of Schneiderlin goes in hard. Anyway, what do I know - I was told to shut up by a fellow fan for moaning about Surman last night. This was just before 3 people behind me called Surman a t**t......

It is said that the ability to make and understand PUNS is the highest level of language development. Here are the top 10 winners in the International Pun Contest. 1. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The Stewardess looks at him and says, 'I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger. 2. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says, 'Dam!' 3. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly, it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it, too. 4. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, 'I've lost my electron.' The other says, 'Are you sure?' The first replies, 'Yes, I'm positive.' 5. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? His goal: transcend dental medication. 6. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. But why they asked, as they moved off. 'Because,' he said, 'I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer.' 7. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named Ahmal. The other goes to a family in Spain; they name him Juan. Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, 'They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal.' 8. A group of friars were behind on their belfry payments, so they opened a small florist shop to raise funds. Since everyone liked to buy flowers from the men of God, a rival florist across town thought the competition was unfair. He asked the good fathers to close down, but they would not. He went back and begged the friars to close. They ignored him. So, the rival florist hired Hugh MacTaggart, the roughest and most vicious thug in town to 'persuade' them to close. Hugh beat up the friars and trashed their store, saying he'd be back if they didn't close up shop. Terrified, they did so, thereby proving that only Hugh can prevent florist friars. 9. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and, with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him (Oh, man, this is SO BAD, it's good) a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 10. And, finally, there was the person who sent ten different puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

And here's a surprise!! Russia have just ordered the deployment of missiles inside Europe as a response to US plans for a missile defence shield!! Oh, Happy Days are here again ......

Today - meet the missus in bed when I get home from work (her idea!). then Wii, drink, smoke, more Wii, more smoke........ Sat - pickup new mattress (having done our best to wreck the old one previous night), listen to footy, eat at La Tasca wiv mates Sun - chill, drink, smoke, Wii, chill, test out new mattress ........

Chocolate-flavoured body spreads sold in British s*x shops have been found to be tainted with melamine, the chemical that made thousands of babies ill in China, food safety authorities said yesterday. The British Food Standards Agency said melamine had been found in "I Love You" sets manufactured in China by Le Bang. They are sold in Britain at Ann Summers, a s*x shop chain. The sets contain chocolate and strawberry body pens and chocolate-flavoured penis and nipple spreads. "This is a first. We've never had to put out an alert before on 'willy spread' - chocolate-flavoured or otherwise," the agency said on its website, http://www.foodstandards.gov.uk. The Food Standards Agency added the health risk from the affected products was low.