scotty

Unless it has a massive mileage on it and you're concerned it might need a new cambelt, why not just get it serviced anyway and start again from there? The garage will tell you if it needs anything else doing.

I hardly go to the bank nowadays unless I need a large wedge of cash. It's easier just to nip into the post office to pay in cheques, I bank with barclays but I think most of the major banks have an arrangement for that, you just need to ask for the printed envelopes. Takes an extra day to process, that's all. And almost everyone pays by bacs online now anyway.

I recall some cabbie claiming to have transport connections to the club. It could have all been bs, but he mentioned that SRL had initially moved into a posh gaff in chilworth but didn't feel comfortable there so he moved to a smaller place in north baddesley. I do know he drank in the baddesley arms, and that he lived in middle road. I don't suppose any pl footballers are likely to struggle for cash in their retirements.

That is excellent

I've noticed recently that I don't get as many MySpace messages as I used to. Weird.

Ah, but we don't know just how good he is yet And JRod scored against palace while he was flat on his back, so maybe boufal is adept at hitting the onion bag while sitting down. Might be his party trick.

I know, it's appalling. How the f*ck is he supposed to scrape by on that? We should all get together and send him a food parcel.

I thought my new girlfriend might be the one. But after looking through her knicker drawer and finding a nurses uniform, a French maids outfit, and a policewomans uniform, I finally decided. If she can't hold down a job, she's not for me.

It would be difficult to drop romeu after his start to the season. I was gutted when morgan left, but why would he want to warm our bench? And presumably we wouldn't be able to offer him any higher wages than we offered him before he left when we were trying to get him onto a new contract. If the money wasn't good enough then it probably won't be good enough now.

How do you milk sheep? Release the iPhone 7.

Nooooooo!

Very good Cockney ****ah?

Statistically, 9/11 americans won't get this joke.

Where's that photo of him being hugged by klopp as if he was a schoolboy who'd just been beaten up? Christ, that made me laugh. Though I know it shouldn't have.

I went to an old firm game once, and couldn't believe how quiet and restrained the clapping was. Then I realised I was in Scotland and they were all just trying to find a vein.

Fixed.

We'll find out shortly.

You'd have to go to pompey to see the BSO nowadays, I think. They gave up on soton guildhall some years ago due to the appalling acoustics.

I have a healthy dislike of collymore because of the ulrika incident. But I've got to admit that he's summed up my feelings in that article. Absolutely spot on.

True. I always refused to repeat any of the Oscar Pistorius jokes my mates used to send me. I hate this f*cking lisp.

If only Frazer was epileptic we could have sued the cameraman for assault. That's the trouble with goalies nowadays, no foresight.

Yes, Minister.

Blimey, a thread with some sense on it!! Don't worry lads, Corbyn will sort it when he's elected. And don't think I'm joking about that, I reckon Jasons sentiments are more in line with public thinking than the politicos could imagine, I've heard so many people say much the same thing.

All wise words, which I can relate to. My uncle was very much a self made man from a poor family, and built up a business worth millions from nothing. He got my dad in to manage the place and sort the accounts. Dad used to be driven to distraction when my uncle would give credits and discounts to rich people who really didn't need them, with no expectation of ever actually seeing the bill settled. I was round there once while they were arguing over this, my uncle was telling dad that he didn't understand.... these people had "old" money, the implication being that although my uncle had plenty of cash he still felt inferior to them to the point where he wouldn't even bother to collect the payment.

Sam Allardyce has been sacked for corruption as England manager. He'll probably want to take a break until the fuss dies down. Might I suggest that Robert Maxwells yacht is still available for charter?