scotty

While I go along with your general sentiment, nobody forced PIGS into the single currency, they were equally to blame for the resulting carnage. They were desperate to join a project which was always going to be disastrous for themselves and the project itself, making promises they could never hope to keep which the Germans et al just accepted anyway.

Having married an Italian bird I can confirm that they like a big wedding. But even her family didn't need a cake that size.

I asked my wife to clean the fridge out while I was at work. Wish I hadn't now. There's nothing left for supper, and she's lying on the sofa like a python thats swallowed a goat.

"You're suffering from schizophrenia," the psychiatrist told me. I said "what, both of us?"

Friday 6-8 pm.

What an idiot you're going to look when Pinder gets the job.

A pessimist is what an optimist calls a realist.

Genuine lol

Art in "itk" shocker!! Somebody finally takes him seriously!!!

When my mother was giving birth, the midwife had to use forceps to pull my head out of her fanny. That's how eager I was to see my kid sister.

....lives in Dubai and can't afford a fiver. My heart bleeds....

The EU really don't hold all the cards. But they certainly would if we went back on the referendum result and opted to change our minds and try to stay in now, so whatever your view on the rights and wrongs of the vote I'm afraid we're well and truly stuck with it.

It's a good idea. The one flaw is that Warnock wouldn't come here after Nigel mocked him so cruelly, Colin's not likely to forgive and forget that.

This will probably come back and bite me on the arse, but one thing we don't seem to do nowadays is tired old has beens. Fergie it is then.

I've developed this terrible craving for sugar since moving to Hackney. I think I might be Di Abbotic.

Theresas attempt at starting a Mexican wave went as well as her election campaign.

Young non-affluent people don't own many news corporations. Rich people getting richer through government policies tend to keep quiet about it.

If we can't tempt Steve Coppell away from some no-mark side in the Indian league this shows an alarming lack of ambition by the board. Heads must roll.

"Was I breast fed?" I asked. "You sure were," replied my mother. "Did it hurt?" I asked. "No idea," she said. "Ask your nan."

I realised that my new girlfriend was a bit of a slapper the first time I went to bed with her. I asked her favourite position and she said "in the middle."

If rissy can be proved to have tapped charlie up first I reckon bianca's due a fulsome apology. Rules is rules.

Plus of course, although the majority is very small which obviously massively weakens her position, it also depends on every MP outside the coalition voting against legislation as well. That said, I can't see her lasting long; one of her reasons (though it may have been lip-service to counter the self-interest accusations) was that she felt a majority of only 17 wasn't enough margin to negotiate brexit with. If that was really the case, how the hell is she going to manage it after this colossal cockup?

This. Why is johnson apparently being regarded as a possible prime minister? What the f*ck am I missing here? How is he even in the cabinet? Christ almighty, if that's the best our fair country has to offer we might as well give up now.