scotty

Not annoying enough to put me off it. Brilliant picture and no buffering or freezing, well spotted sir

This. Apart from the picture/commentary delay it's far and away the best streaming I've ever used. Never heard of it until the grapefruit mentioned it.

Wrong page. The Crap Joke Suppository is over on the muppet show.

The group 10cc was named after the amount of semen in an average male ejaculation. Their tribute band don't play anything, they just w@nk over pictures of them and post it on porn sites.

:lol:

"That's it then," I sniffled. "No more Glen Campbell." "I'm afraid so," said the barman. "Not until you settle this tab."

........and, as if by magic.....

So, three weeks ago to the day I get the usual reminder to fork out a crisp fiver for Steve Grants poppadoms. And as per usual, I do a bank transfer the same day. Three weeks, two unanswered site messages and one unanswered email later I'm still wading through a barrage of adverts as a registered user, its like being on the sex offenders register (I, errrm, imagine.) Any other tales of woe highlighting SWF incompetence? Post them here, you never know, one of them might read it....

"Don't get upset," said the doctor. "Premature ejaculation can be distressing, but it's easily treated nowadays." "I'm not upset," I replied, "but I still need that tissue."

.........opens popcorn and awaits MLGs detailed statistics on percentages......

My wife opened her birthday card and found the ticket. "The Pamplona bull run!!" she beamed. "Do I need any special gear?" "All sorted" I replied, handing her the nose ring.

Dubai's Torch Tower has gone up in flames. It's thought to be the first ever building fire to have been self-inflicted.

It's a bit too subtle, pluto. The gag would have worked better if the buildup had been about Taylors new contract, and misdirection implying Forster should be upgraded, with the punchline saying we needed to replace Gazzaniga. And crisp up the joke by losing the final bit after the players name.

The scousers are running neck and neck with the blue few at the moment Nick, imho of course.

I went into sports direct on Tuesday and asks for some condoms and KY jelly. "We are a sports shop." said the assistant. On Wednesday I asked for a dual action 12 inch black dildo, on Thursday some anal beads and a gimp mask, on Friday it was love eggs and a whip. Always with the same reply. Saturday as I walked in the assistant took me to one side and said "mate you keep coming in and it's getting embarrassing. You know we are a sports shop, what the f*ck do you really want?" I summoned up all my courage, took a deep breath and said "can I have a Liverpool home shirt please."

Exactly this. Plus they'll gang up screaming at the ref for a card every time an oppo player breathes within ten yards of them, and as usual the ref will duly produce one.

Berlin it is, then.

Was it a Van Der Graaf generator?

You missed a trick there upwind, there has to be a wheat wheat wheat gag in those two

Sues French is better than her English

There speaks a man who doesn't watch much porn

We are a rudderless ship with its head in Liverpool and drifting towards Merseyside. We are doomed.

"Never work with children or animals." Said my CRB check.

Break his legs in case he went on strike. This club has been too soft for too long.

I got badly drunk at the office party and spent the night with a girl from accounts. Apprehensive about going home I asked my neighbour to pop round and find out how angry my wife was. Ten minutes later he phoned back. "She's barely speaking except to scream what a c*nt you are," he said. "She's got a face like thunder, there's broken crockery everywhere and you can cut the atmosphere with a knife." I sighed with relief and thought "great, everything's normal."