Rory

The Bebe description is bizarre: "His name is destined to join that of Ali Dia in the list of bizarre signings. Bought from Vitória de Guimarães in Portugal despite having never appeared for them, only Sir Alex Ferguson knows why he paid £7m for him. Has played seven times and scored twice. He’s not dreadful, just likely to languish in the reserves for a long, long time." So, a player who's only 20 years old, never played for his previous club, let alone the Premier League, but still manages to play seven times under arguably one of the greatest managers in the world and score twice. That doesn't sound like a bad return by my standards.

Would that make him a Draper Stool?

I'm Just a Killer for Your Love.

A self-confessed pessimist, but I am stupidly excited about next season. It actually feels like watching a true Saints side again, rather than watching some ramshackle team like last time out.

Need to explore a bit. The internet is your friend. You need to ignore radio/tv music and open up your ears and clean out your eyes. Music is still exciting.

Anders may not have set the world alight during his time here, but he was still one of my favourite players and brought a smidgen of glamour to St Mary's. I don't think Costa Coffee's West Quay branch has ever recovered from his departure. Glad to read he's still doing well.

Umm... Really? I think he's a lot better than we have and has Premier League experience, which NONE of our current midfield have.

So what if he wasn't impressive today. Just who do some of you think we are? He would be an outstanding signing. How can any club in the Championship turn their noses up at a player of this calibre? Some of you with stupidly high expectations are going to be sorely disappointed this coming season, I can see it now.

I prefer spelling 'cool' 'kool'.

Truly amazing news, if true.

Put a cork in it! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-1393018/Amy-Childs-leaves-club-Marbella-footballer-Jack-Cork.html

Nigel Adkins: Nicola, how can we improve the side? Nicola Cortese: Put a cork in it, mush.

Gary Roberts is ok, but not in the calibre we should be looking at. He was pretty good at Accrington but evapourated in the Championship with Ipswich.

I was at the Lincoln City game. My only recognition is that I think they went ahead through an own goal, possibly by Benali.

...and Stockport County.

Classic. I remember the two battles with the Hatters really well. Dave Jones turned them into a really good side with a good mix of youth and experience. We were shocking.

Thanks mate. I don't play out but I am looking to do so. I'd ideally like to play new non-mainstream tracks, rather than play anthems for boozed-up punters, but I realise this will be unlikely. Ultimately, I'll probably have to shell out for a powerful laptop that I'll solely use for music and gigging. I like the look of the new HP desire range but they cost more than Macs. Never used Ableton. I'll have a look at it, but it needs to be able to read the Mixtrack interface. The only programmes I know that can use it are Virtual DJ Pro 7 and Traktor.

Are you really Hermione Horby?

Please, no posts like "if you're not mixing with vinyl, what's the point? You're not a true DJ!" because it makes you look totes dated and jel. Get over it, MP3 mixing is the future. Anyway, I currently use a Numark Mixtrack Pro with Traktor LE but I have Virtual DJ Pro, which is the nuts. However, my laptop just isn't up to scratch and struggles with the might of Virtual DJ. Should I just stick with Traktor, even though it's less superior but easier to use, or should I plump for a better laptop? If the latter, what laptop would you suggest? I'd ideally like to save for a Mac but it'll take me a long time and want to crack on as soon as possible. I could have put this on a DJ forum but I consider you all to be my friends and value your opinions.

Impressive, not a patch on a parmo though.

Rarely played in Championship, rarely played in our first League One season, and rarely played last season. A dozen appearances in three years - what's the point? If we keep him on, why didn't we keep Pahars?

I'm reviewing this for a publication and have a promo copy. Is it as good as B@stard?

They follow me on Twitter. And the Morning Benders. (cool)

Sorted for Keys and whizz.

Not Soton, but I've booked myself tickets for the Dot to Dot festival in Bristol. Yeah, not too bothered by the headliners (Hurts, We Are Scientists etc) but there are a lot of little gems like BRAIDS playing in small bars. It's worth checking out.