Halo Stickman

Never mind, Bletch. One day your prince will come. You sure you're at the right pub? Let me know if you fancy doing some hilarious fun with words, mate.

Brilliant, bloody brilliant! Very happy and very p1ssed

Or he could wreak havoc on mumsnet for a week or two like you did, until the heat dies down.

I guess Pap might end up on the Ugly with Barry - although probably best not to take that back-lit selfie with him.

+

Btw Tokes, Lou is awarding bonuses to posters who persuade women to sign up to Saintsweb. Will you consider paying your fiver, pretty please.

Yes, I fear that Mrs Bletch might rue the day she signed up for that bloody Italian course

Yeah, and you're not really my Miss Piggy, Bletch. Unfortunately.

Unfortunately, I'm gonna be offline for much of the day, but, if I'd had the time, I was going to make this same point, Bletch. But better.

Crikey, does the ban extend to all Southampton pubs as well. I've been offline all day; does anyone know what Pap did to get banned?

Perhaps the two of us could meet up another time; after all, you are my favourite muppet.

If I could willingly choose a strange man to meet at a strange time and strange place, many many miles from my home, then that strange man would be you Bletch (after Graziano Pellè and the bloke from Poldark …) However, the final promise I made to my dear parents as they handed me over to Matron at the gates of the Orphanage was that I would never willingly choose to meet a strange man at a strange time and strange place, many many miles from my home. Ed Miliband. I've never heard them perform live; are they any good?

On the bright side, I guess I can stop worrying about Vince being selected for England any time soon - carry on at this rate and he'll be fortunate to be selected for Hampshire

How's KP's relationship with Strauss these days?

I prefer an 8 day Rover, myself.

A crab apple might be the most appropriate in this instance.

Up or Off - it makes little difference to me these days. You should be okay with Lou Lou - she's appears to be a very forgiving woman ... well, most of the time.

You're gonna be in big trouble with Lou Lou, Bob! It was a toss up between January 2014 and April 2015, btw.

I'm catching up with some of my weeklies as we speak. So far, no sign of Emma Stone or anyone else that Bob may, or may not, have mentioned. However, I'll keep my eyes peeled and report back in due course.

Perhaps she's still looking for models.

I'm up for c) Just give me a moment to put my lippy and make-up on

That's Lou's job.