Footballfan

how do you buy your own seat online for the FA cup game

hope he can push on from this good performance tonight

10 out of 10 from me

got it a cd some where, will try and find for you but wont be until next week.

I had the same issue so had to go to ground to get tickets.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE NICKNAMES · If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah. · If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes. EATING OUT · When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in £20, even though it's only for £32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back. · When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.. MONEY · A man will pay £2 for a £1 item he needs. · A woman will pay £1 for a £2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale. BATHROOMS · A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .. · The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items. ARGUMENTS · A woman has the last word in any argument. · Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument. FUTURE · A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. · A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. SUCCESS · A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. · A successful woman is one who can find such a man. MARRIAGE · A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. · A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does. DRESSING UP · A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail. · A man will dress up for weddings and funerals. NATURAL · Men wake up as good-lookin g as they went to bed.. · Women somehow deteriorate during the night. OFFSPRING · Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favourite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams. · A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house. THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing! MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

but he then scored one of his best goals later in the same game

How can a ref have the same colour shirt on as the away team, he must have noticed as he changed to black at half time or was he told by Sky TV to change?

What will the attendance on Wednesday night, with the game on Sky that will reduce it a bit

I have just read it on another site, they don't even send their own reporters to our games just, all the reports are the same.

I can't belive that there are people on here that don't hate them, they would have loved it if we had not made it through the summer, deep down they are all the same.

the New Forrest is great for ridding, very flat if you are just starting off and lots of nice pubs to visit

I went last time, but I think we only got 1500 tickets for the game

maybe the crowd need to tell him in French as he can't understand English anyway

I though staying in this leauge was our aim for this season, but I think we can push on now for the playoff's if we continue to beat the so called better teams, there is no one in this leauge that we should fear.

the LB wasn't the best we have seen all season but he still played very well

Try Yates on the way from the station to the ground

I might have a spare one but won't know until Saturday

Pete's take away

Thought you might have got one with Bob looking happy after that result

Male Date-Drug Police are warning all men who frequent clubs, parties & local pubs to be alert and stay cautious when offered a drink by any woman. Many females use a date-drug on the market called 'Beer ' . The drug is found in liquid form and is available anywhere. It comes in bottles, cans, or from taps and in large kegs. Beer is used by female sexual predators at parties and bars to persuade their male victims to go home and sleep with them. A woman needs only to get a guy to consume a few units of Beer and then simply ask him home for no-strings-attached sex. Men are rendered helpless against this approach. After several Beers , men will often succumb to the desires to sleep with horrific looking women to whom they would never normally be attracted. After drinking Beer , men often awaken with only hazy memories of exactly what happened to them the night before, often with just a vague feeling that 'something bad' occurred. At other times these unfortunate men are swindled out of their life's savings, in a familiar scam known as 'a relationship' . In extreme cases, the female may even be shrewd enough to entrap the unsuspecting male into a longer-term form of servitude and punishment referred to as 'marriage'. Men are much more susceptible to this scam after Beer is administered and sex is offered by the predatory females.

The following are replies that Manchester women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing "father's details;" or putting it another way.... Who's your Daddy? Be sure to checkout #10. It takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up. 1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins,Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night. 2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps. 3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 360 East Bolton Avenue where I had sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number? Thanks. 4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced. 5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again. 6. I cannot tell you the name of Aleshia's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country . Please advise. 7.Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time.... well, I don't have clue. 8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro-Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom. 9. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Gordon Ramsey did a programme about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 56 Miller St, mine might have remained unfertilized. 10. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

An Irishman is cleaning his rifle and accidentally shoots his wife. He immediately dials 999. Irishman: ''It's my wife! I've accidentally shot her, I've killed her!'' Operator: ''Please calm down Sir, can you first make sure she is actually dead!'' ……………… *click* *BANG! * Irishman: ''Okay, done that. What next?''

Man of the house The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled, 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE'. He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house and my word is Law. You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert. After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me and we will have the kind of sex that I want. Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe... Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair? Without even looking up from her morning paper the wife replied, 'The funeral director would be my first guess.'

Afternoon Sex The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon 'quickie' with their 8-year old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a lollipop and tell him to report on all the neighbourhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: - 'There's a car being towed from the car park ,' he shouted. - 'An ambulance just drove by!' - 'Looks like the Andersons have company,' he called out. - 'Matt's riding a new bike!' - 'Looks like the Sanders are moving!' - 'Jason is on his skate board!' - After a few moments he announced, 'The Coopers are having sex!!' Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed! Dad cautiously called out, 'How do you know they're having sex?' 'Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a lollipop.'