Sidney Fudpucker the 3rd

Ha ha ha ha ha ha. (Pauses for breath.) Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. He'll be lucky if he's still got a job at Spuds this time next year.

Thought he looked very solid in the WC. The Dutch call him Beton Ron. Which means Concrete Ron. :-)

We are currently well off the pace. If things don't change dramatically then I honestly think we'll be relegated. Too many changes, a lack of experience and a manager with no premiership experience.

I was only told last night that Koeman wasn't keen on Caulker. What wasn't clear was if that was as a player or whether he wasn't keen on the price etc?

Cork is a legend. An essential part of this squad. I'd be more annoyed about his departure than any other player. Every team needs solid dependable players like him. More fool us if we don't tie up a new contract for him.

Had a chat with my source last night. Here's the main bits. Koeman has missed out on a couple of players and is said to be becoming frustrated in his search for defenders. Lovren situation being monitored very closely. No decision as yet. Could go either way. Certainly won't be allowed to leave before a replacement is identified. Koeman believes that too much money is being paid for players by premier league clubs and that he has identified players who aren't household names for a fraction of tne price. Says the World Cup doesn't help as it just seems to over inflate player values. Don't expect the signing of anyone who had a decent WC. Martins Indi was spoken to but he was set on going to Portugal as it's his home country. Also spoke to Janmaat but fee too high & other clubs are offering silly wages. Caulker was spoken to and visited Staplewood before Koeman's arrival but I'm told that Koeman isn't keen. Club has received an initial enquiry about Chambers. RK saying that the club had not received offers for AL & LS was a lie. Talks began before the WC but he didn't want to upset the fans and the club didn't want transfer talk to overshadow their performances at the WC... Not much chance of that. MoPo instructed not to come fishing for players when he left. Despite this, Spurs have definitely been in touch re. Schneiderlin. Koeman desperate to keep him more than any other player. Board believe MoPo is responsible for the unrest with certain players. Goalkeeper will probably be the next announcement. Approaches made to 2 clubs but no names given. Again, club/Koeman not happy about some of the figures being quoted for goalkeepers. Currently talking to 2 clubs about the sale of Osvaldo, one is Galatasaray. Money offered is no where near what we paid. No contact with Burnley re. Ings. Loads of press speculation about players, none of whom have been discussed so it's pure fabrication. The targets that Koeman has identified have not been mentioned in the press. Basically the press don't have a clue who Koeman is chasing and the club want it keeping that way.

Lovren will not stay. He's there because he has to be but he's no intention of staying. He'll be allowed to go as soon as his replacement is lined up.

Apparently Caulker doesn't fancy a move to QPR and would prefer to join Saints. Didn't somebody say they'd seen him at Staplewood a couple of weeks ago?

It's ok but I'm not a fan of that sludgy blue with the yellow and the shorts look a completely different shade. Reminds me of that navy kit with the yellow chest panel from a few seasons back - the worst Saints kit of all time IMO. Black would've looked much better.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2683861/Southampton-Lorient-defender-Bruno-Ecuele-Manga-replace-Dejan-Lovren.html

The way we're going we might need him.

Go on then, Lovren you ******. **** off.

Have we really got nothing better to do than rank people on how ITK they are? How ****ing pathetic.

What's horrific about it? It's a striped adidas shirt & would've looked miles better than that stock piece of **** last season! http://www.sufcdirect.co.uk/mobile/65_Home-Replica-Kit-1415/140_Home-Replica-Kit-1415/2246_Adult-Home-Shirt-1415.html

At least 6 needed. Morgan and Lovren are gone so need some real quality. Still ****ed off that the likes of Caulker going to QPR. We should be looking for some players with premiership experience rather than gambling on players from the Dutch league.

Just seen that Sheff Utd have a nice new red & white stripped shirt from Adidas. Still don't understand why we couldn't have negotiated for something similar.

The only problem I see is that it's got solid red sleeves and we all know what happens to teams who wear stripped shirts with red sleeves??? The last time we had a stripped kit with red sleeves we were struck by the curse. Relegation. :-/

Disappointed to see Cresswell going to WHU and Caulker to QPR. I thought both would have been excellent signings for Saints. Have to admit that I'm nervous about who we will sign in those areas.

FWIW I totally agree. There's too many people on here with their heads in the clouds. Whilst I admire their optimism I do think a lot of people are unrealistic.

Don't shoot the messenger but I'm informed that he's due for a medical on friday along with Tadic. I guess it's standard practice to allocate time slots for medicals in case the deals are agreed in time?

Don't shoot the messenger but I'm told he's having a medical on friday.

No it's not. 1. It's German. 2. It looks like a QPR away kit.

Here's a poll for ITV. Should Andy Townsend be shot in the head?

He'll end up at Spurs with MoPo.

Well, that's another week gone without a managerial appointment. More players unhappy and potential targets missed. By the time our new manager arrives he's going to have a lot of work to do.