Convict Colony

I know wrong thread but I couldnt find the most appropriate but I reckon this dude could help in the CB zone> Raul Albiol (centre-back, Real Madrid) - He doesn't start for Real and if QPR can get that other numpty surely we can get a ball playing centre back. Albiol is an accomplished centre-back who has made regular appearances for world and European champions Spain.

I have to say my scouts concur with your ukraine comment, apparently Odessa is a decent spot and you would have the added bonus of feeling like you are in a James Bond movie. Back in the day Sunny Beach or Varna in Bulgaria (black sea coast) was awesome as there was only serbian, croatian and swedish birds there as it wasn't even on the radar for english visitors it was truly the last wild west country in europe. Where did it go wrong ?

Having been an international playboy for most of my life I have come to understand which countries are f*cktards and which ones are awesome. Generally the awesome countries correlate which having a high fit chick density so I thought I would post my ones and see if you boys have any additions. My top 3 and bottom 3 places. Top 1. Venezuela: They have the most miss worlds out of any country and plastic surgery is one of the cheapest in the world, fathers buy their daughters tits for their birthdays . I was hanging out in El Yache on Margarita and literally is is taken as a given that if you are 50 and have some money you can smash any fit chick you want as every weekend they would fly in from caracas with this supermodel with huge tits and g string bikinis = Awesome. ( I had to make do with the local fit chicks) 2. Brazil: Pretty obvious Buzios and Ipanema are awesome and whilst its and easy choice the amazing thing about here even the ugly birds are fit. "how can this be" I hear you cry, its cos they have the most amazing bodies you never get to their face, I am defo thinking about heading to Brazil for world cup but don't take your missus unless she is equally as hot cos after 1 day at the beach she will feel all insecure and not let you go there, so go lone wolf. 3. Sweden: again another easy one but the beauty of the swedes is that they are boring as **** and hardly talk but have the bodies of angels. So you get to bang a super chick but not have to listen to her moan on about **** you don't care about. Bottom: 1. England: The effort that has to be made just to **** a munter when you know if you were in south america you would be smashing a honey for the same level of effort. 2. UAE: Anyone double bagging themselves in 50C must be really ugly. 3. Asia: They are all so small no matter how hot they are and how old they maybe I would still feel like a more refined version of gary glitter. I am expecting Tokyo to counterbalance my asian slate given he is the eastern p*rn king and has a warehouse full of soiled underpants stolen from a girls school.

Damn all along I thought this was the serious section and the main board was for moaning people who couldn't afford a phone to call the Samaritans. Never mind, a suggestion for how the statue could look would be if you had your trousers down around your ankles and you is bending over to flick the V's between your legs whilst also getting in the double whammy of a moon for added insult. Personally if I was going all out I would have sh*t stains on my statue's pants and arse and a knob the size of a grand national winner so all the birds can do comedy photos like they are sucking me off.

Not going to happen but I would love to see the below formation, offers support to our defence and minimises the distance between backs and wingers. Gazza Fonte Hooiveld Yoshida Clyne Spiderman Shaw Cork Ramirez Lambert Lallana

Thanks I need to ge my arse into gear and purchase full membership so I can post more as my pay-pal was playing up last time, agree with regards to Athletic being a big club but I think the relationship is not good with the president as he threatened to walk out around July time if I remember rightly. Other guys to consider would be Jorge Sampoli - http://backpagefootball.com/jorge-sampaoli-footballing-progressive/44122/ He took Universidad de Chile to the South American equivalent of the Europa cup and some how only conceded 2 goals in the comp and had the leading scorer in the comp. That victory is probably the biggest win in chilean club football from what I understand as my Chilean mate was going nuts about them. The guy is a preparation machine. Other one who has gone off the radar could be Frank Rijkaard whose currently head coach for Saudi Arabia. Rumours are that he is being lined up for AC Milan if they sack their guy, but he would be excellent given his pedigree with Ajax/Barca and has worked under our structure successfully. He has the right mentality for English football, has a massive name so can attract players and lives/breathes 4-3-3. AC Milan Link:http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story/_/id/1201042/frank-rijkaard-'being-lined-up-for-ac-milan-job'?cc=3888

Really hope Nige gets through to Sat and we get a home win and kick on from there. However if not I would be keen for the club to look at Biesla given our "southampton way" methodology and his understanding of how we are trying to play, i really do think he could be achievable as a target manager given the below circumstances plus we would give him more funds and a new challenge in Jan and he would also buy in to building a unique football club that would play his way long after he retires a la Cruyff at Barca: Marcelo Biesla: Current Club: Althetic Bilbao who got to the final of the Europa cup last year. He is a former defender for Argentina, manager of Argentina and Chile at world cups (Chilean team was raved about a few years ago) so will get the players respect and attract new ones. He has fallen out with the President for selling Martinez and the fact that the new training facilites were not ready on time for pre-season, he blew a gasket and shoved the contractors (we could use him there as well) They are nearly out of Europe this year and most likely won't qualify for next year's He gets paid peanuts as coaches in spain outside of Barca and Real dont earn anywhere near as much as English managers. Based on what I've read he is excellent at getting the most out of players who are being played out of position something we will have to live with until Jan. Guardiola is one of his disciples and he went to Argentina to talk to Biesla prior to accepting the Barca post and calls him the worlds best coach. He likes to play 3-3-1-3 (3 Centre Backs, 2 Wing backs and a Defensive Midfielder, 1 Attacking Midfielder and 3 up front, which i think personally looks a good fit for our playing talent). He focusing on playing a high tempo pressing game (I know Adkins is trying to do the same but with a slightly different formation which is leaving gaps). Tactics: His signature formation of 1-3-3-1-3 would give us an extra man in defence with 2 rows of 3 rather than 5 (4 back line and spiderman). This will the compress the space when the balls enters our half of the pitch and it also the wing backs closer to the wingers and it could look like the following: Gazza Fonte - Hooiveld - Yoshida Clyne - Spiderman - Shaw/Fox Davis/Cork Ramirez - Lambert- Lallana Good coverage of his tactics - http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1381408-why-marcelo-bielsa-employ-the-most-bizarre-tactics-in-football Excellent Tim Vickery piece http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/timvickery/2012/02/bielsa_bouncing_back_at_bilbao.html

****ing hell this is depressing, everyone is ****

hahahahahahhaaha

On the plus side we have reduced the goals conceded by 50% from our are last PL away fixture........ so far

Mine is f*cked as it only takes me about a year of being somewhere before i start sounding like a local. Used to be proper farmer (herefod) then went normal when i went to live in hong kong as a kid, then went posh back in Eng then went aussie after 3yrs there, then chinese ( i keep using mandarin words as part of english sentences) after 4 yrs in Singapore and now am in Suud Afrikaaa so am sounding like the racist guy out of Wild Geese or that swiss bloke out of Zulu Schiess "How far can you march in a day" fella. Only aim is to avoid living n US as no one wants to sound like a yank.

I know Adkins loves stats and KPI's so thought i would post a review of that half according to 4-4-2 stats zone app on the iphone we have had the following: 58.5% possession Territory 54.5% 175 out of 247 passes completed villa have managed 113 In the attacking 3rd we have completed 56/91 passes, villa 22/51 However for some reason we have done more defensive tackles than villa 12 v 8. So in my rubbish supposition we are passing well but the final ball is usually **** as villa aren't having to tackle or block which seems to explain Puncheons influence on the game.

On another note today will be the day i finally can be arsed to upgrade my account so I will be posting all over the shop and putting up lucky knockers on the match thread.

What's the worst that can happen, Kelvin has already let in 14 goals in 4 games and i think we all agree some of them have been preventable. If we keep KD and lose v Villa then what ? every game since our 1st loss at city is a must win game and if we lose v Villa then the next game will just increase the pressure and he will never get a go. Start him at home, positive support and i think our concerns about the change will be unfounded. Old article but always a nice reminder - http://www.lifesapitch.co.uk/opinions/the-top-10-emerging-players-from-the-football-league/

The number 1 thing that annoys me about watching these games is that whilst the premier league is mean't to be the best in the world the commentators are not. They have no professional integrity as they are normally just name who talk about football and normally the Top 4 teams at that. Stop sucking off famous players, read up on the lower placed teams, understand the progression each team has made and know the players strengths and weaknesses. Why do you think Gary Neville is a surprise as a pundit !!! its cos you are all crap and he puts effort into his craft unlike you numpties. Rant over.

hahaha i was just chuckling at your previous posts which you were right about at the time.

Not sure if mayuka has gone away with Zambia (I know SA are playing Brazil and then someone sh*t in a qualifier) but if he hasn't he would be getting drilled daily (no need to comment Bearsy or Tokyo) with whatever midfielders are left to work on the principles of our style, obligations and link up play. Surely 10 days training with the coaches will increase his saints knowledge massively, its like getting 1 on 1 training with the teacher, his learning curve will improve massively, therefore i would have him on the pitch somewhere for pace on the counter attack. If he's gone away ignore :-)

Gutted but yet again we have shown we can play football against the best. Still a lot of $$ to come onto the pitch for the arsenal game. Forward 3 were awesome but spiderman was immense. Gazza deserves a game and someone buy Nathaniel some studs for his boots.

right I've missed the knockers pics this year, I can't wait for Toyko's contribution after in innocent porn faux pas.

I'm going to be at 4. I would of hoped to of knocked Wigan over yesterday if we had done all of our transfer business, but given that we still are "apparently" in for 4 more positions (Ram, Phillips, CB,LB) we can still mathematically could improve 35% of the team based on signings alone (if we played Jrod as CF its more like 45%) so i retain long term hope based on the assumption we get those A class players. I think to pursue and create long term value you need patience, have belief in what you are doing and set standards of excellence. Reacting to the short term events (I would taken 1pt after 4 games before the season started) and letting your emotional response drive you negates this and we become like every other knee jerk club, results matter in May not August. On another note the impact both Santi Carzola and Michu have made on their teams leaves me highly optimistic that a Ram or another could do the same for us, its just that as mentioned billions of times, JRod, Guly are playing in positions to which they are not suited at this level which inhibits the 4-3-3 framework as 2 of the forward 3 are out of position. You can make do in the championship but not with the big boys, I do hope Man City spank Liverpool who i think have similar problems to us and like us are bottom.

I lasted 10mins f****ng hell, by that I mean before I had to come back and check :-)

Right I give up, I can't deal with the hourly emotional roller coaster that has occurred since Friday (when i first checked), I need Bearsy and Tokyo Saint to write some witticisms in the Muppet Lounge and enable me to focus on the important things in life like bans, porn, mods and random birds that can be manipulated to cook for Bearsy.

Excited at not having to find a stream every weekend and now being able to see it on my 55 " tv in HD but disappointed at not being on the look out for bouncing jugs on the match thread.

Tokyo I haven't seen anyone out porn you yet I don't think the bear has it in him, your ways are too stealthy and I personally enjoy the "i didn't know angle" to avoid bans. You are my 2nd favourite poster behind the Bear young jedi.

Bearsy is the new statto, you are already the lady skewering king of SWF and now you are adding stats to your resume. Next trick will be to out porn Tokyo Saint.