stu0x

Presumably they don't stand round the pitch 8 hours a day, 5 days a week...

It will depend entirely on what deals we manage to do. People seem to forget that moving a player on is much harder than just telling them to clear out their locker. You don't want to **** a player off, as he is then less likely to be amenable to a move away, and you are less likely to find a club that wants him. So anyone still in contract is probably more likely than not to be here next season. I would expect most of the names listed to go out on loan, if at all.

Jeremy Kyle?

So since then he's only been imitating a complete bellend? In that case, he's a fine actor with laudable commitment to his art

Glasgow_Saint has, unbelievably, already started, on the basis that Ajax signed some random name from a list of European free agents he copied and pasted from somewhere

What will be the biggest disappointment? Csh: Pompey not getting relegated and Saints not gaining promotion. Ha ha nice one!

I don't know who is more mental - the person who thinks we could sign Frank Lampard, or the person who thinks we shouldn't even if we could. ****ing hell this summer is going to be painful...

Surely that depends entirely on what your business is?

If you are out of shape, and you work like a Trojan, then you could potentially shift 2 stone in 2 months - but it won't be permanent weight. 1.5lb/week (with a lot of hard work) of fat is possible. That would mean a calorie deficit of over 1000 per day - not easy. The rest will be water weight, which will pile back on as soon as you revert to a normal regime. Weight loss is simple, far more simple than it is made out to be. Burn off more calories than you take in. Anyone complicating it beyond that is likely doing so to sell you something. Now, if you are already in good shape, and you want to train to a particular goal, then you have to start getting increasingly technical to achieve best results. But if you're going from zero and just want to shift some weight, it really is that easy. So for general weight loss... - Don't cut out carbs entirely. You need them, just like you need fats. Just at the right time and in the right amounts. Assuming you're planning to exercise early afternoon (after work), have your carb load at lunchtime (brown pasta, brown rice, or a jacket potato), and then don't have any with dinner. - Make sure you have breakfast, one of the fibre-rich cereals is a good idea (Shreddies or Bran Flakes). - Try and cut out/down bread, refined (ie normal) pasta, and beer. Empty calories. - For training, stick with basic CV (running and cross-trainer and probably the most intensive), and do some very basic resistance work. If your main aim is to shift weight you're not going to be able to gain any substantial mass at the same time so there's no need to go crazy, but lifting will improve your core strength and improve the rate at which you burn calories when resting. - Most importantly, don't overtrain. The reason most people fail is they go from zero to 100%, they knacker their body and lose interest.

14th would be a great result

You could tell he realised it was a mistake straight away, which is why he told Billy to go be with the rest of the team. To be fair it must be tough, he's got to interview people who have no interest in talking to him at that point.

As I said in another thread, the story of Norwich's all pervading squad is a myth. They bought half a dozen players when they went from L1 to CCC, and another 7 when they were promoted to PL. they basically farmed the best Championship players. Swansea have brought in 5 or 6.

Easy 'Win this, or Pompey will forever live off that their two draws stopped us from going up."

I can see the midfield being Lallana-Hammond-Cork-Morgan. Adkins doesn't seem to trust his proper wide right players (SDR and Punch), and I suspect he may have finally lost faith with Guly. I think we'll be very narrow in the midfield, and SRL will spend most of the match lurking in that quasi-inside-left-wing position he often drifts to. If im right, It's absolutely imperative that Richardson plays to provide at least a modicum of width. A nervous 1-0 for 80 odd minutes with a joyless second half, and then a late late goal out of the blue to make it either the best or worst day imaginable...

Norwich have signed about 8 players since last summer, and a similar amount the season before (following their L1 promotion). This notion that they've come up with the same group of players is a myth. I could easily see us making 6 permanent signings in Summer, as well as a couple of loans. In reality, it will probably be governed by how many squad players we can move on.

Klaus Bin there, riding non-handed. No need for that.

Your tone is antagonistic and you're making me very angry!!!

I was going to go to the match, until I remembered that I couldn't give the steam off my **** for the approval or otherwise of some condescending losers on an internet forum. So I'm watching it at home instead.

You should take that show on the road

This may fit into the 'cat in hell's chance' bracket, but... Aiden McGeady would be a very good option for the right wing, if we could get him. He went to Spartak for 9mill, and had a very strong start. However he's since fallen out with Valery Karpin (not difficult, the man could start a fight in an empty room) and been frozen out of the team, and as such could be available for around the same amount. He is an absolutely fantastic player, and would provide an instant fix to arguably our weakest position. Admittedly I have no idea what his wages are so that might count him out completely. But I don't think a transfer fee of that much is beyond us for one or two players, and if you look at the market I think you'd struggle to get a player of that quality in that position for any less. Oh yeah, and a couple of years ago I signed him on Championship Manager and he was amazing, which obviously is the most important thing.

And not even a very good disguise!

And the man with the bikes on his car is disqualified!

The goalkeeper has got football pie all over his shirt!

****!! Did you see that?? He must have a foot like a traction engine!!!

Far more likely that they'll come to the entirely plausible conclusion that he can't remember because he was hammered. And that is no excuse for anything. Being drunk in no way abdicates you of your responsibilities when it comes to criminality.