Midfield_General

Photo please

Oh god. Sung by what sounded like the New Seekers, starting off quite low and whispered, then building steadily to a shrill, shrieking finale, before the voiceover man from the Odeon ads for curry houses on Above Bar cut in to push tickets for this Saturday's thrilling clash against Wimbledon at The Dell. Jesus that was bleak.

Nope. It was a stickman, front-on, with a smiley face, wearing a saints scarf, standing on one foot for some reason, with 'Spirit of Southampton' scrawled in what was basically comic sans underneath. I seem to remember it came terrifyingly close to being our official logo. One of Rupert's best efforts.

Dear God I remember that. It was teamed with a horrific 'Spirit of Southampton' jingle on an advert that seemed to be on a neverending loop on Power FM (RIP).

...

For the Boxing Day fixture, to this tune http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BjmGbI-Mnys: Nathaniel Clyne Up the right touchline Hear us singing Christian rhyme With logs on the fire Gifts on the tree We got him at tribunal For an undisclosed fee Then we all join hands and sway in time, with a choirboy doing a haunting solo in harmony over the top.

Class

Hmmm, given the new kit maybe it should be Red, Red Clyne? Then anyone who's got their knickers in a twist about the lack of stripes could boo ferociously, and we could have a big fight amongst ourselves. That could work.

Clyne is going to be a regular starter so he's going to need a song. Let's look at our options: a) Sloop John B b) Something by the Smiths or the Roses to show how cool we are as a fan base c) - with 'Nathaniel Clyne' instead of the chorus. Get Gary Crosby in a jewelled jumpsuit to lead it. And maybe leaving out the bit about touching me, touching you. d) Nathaniel Clyne, clap clap clap clap - why change a winning formula Any others?

Guardian reckons it will be contracted that they have to pay it if they stay up: "Liverpool have told West Ham that they can have Carroll on loan for the season in exchange for £2m, but that West Ham must then pay a further £17m to make the deal permanent if they retain their Premier League status... there would be no mere option for West Ham to buy Carroll next summer; if they remained a Premier League club, they would be legally bound to sign him." http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/jul/30/andy-carroll-west-ham-liverpool A bit damn risky if you ask me.

...and Bennett, and Davenport...

Bit of a weird one. If they can convince Carroll to go - and by the sound of it he doesn't want to - then they can get him for £2m for this season, which would seem a great bit of business. But, if they stay up, they are then legally bound by the terms of the contract to buy him outright for a further £17m. Which could lead to an interesting situation if, for example, he did a cruciate at the end of the season but they still stayed up. They'd still have to pay a huge fee to take a player who could be injured indefinitely.

No they're kosher, I did it and made loads - go for it

It's taken the Gills fans all of 5 minutes to find these reviews of TF online: The Crewe Chronicle described Forecast's debut as "one of the most shockingly inept displays the Football League has ever seen." "6'6 no less, Just 6 inches off being 7ft tall. And lobbed from close range. I remember it happening he finally did the simple thing and raised his hands over his head to catch the ball a whole 3 SECONDS after the ball went in. It's the worst performance in goal i have ever witnessed including Sunday league games." "A truly horrendous goalkeeper." "Terrible goalkeeper, how did he make it to play professional football, i honestly think that im a better goalkeeper, did any town fans see him make a save?" "Unfortunately for the lad he's probably the worst keeper I've seen for town and I've seen a fair few." "I have never seen a professional footballer as bad as him. " If you were a manager and you made the decision to take a player with those sort of reviews, along with his record of being benched by Bromley etc, you'd have to expect people to seriously question your judgement. Why on earth would they take him? Martin Allen, football genius

The S on number 3 looks like a slug, which when combined with the 2003-4 thin red stripes, to me makes the piece a postmodern homage to Neil McCann. And for that, I'm in.

Wycombe away, Tuesday night, 0-0. Worst game of football I've ever seen, then after the match, after queueing for ages to get on one of the buses out, just as it pulled away I realised I'd left my bag under my seat at the ground with my keys, wallet and phone in it.

I'll take that as a no then. Well done you.

Indeed. He was giving it large about how he and Peter Reid had been heckling Capello at a manager's conference about England's performance at the World Cup - this from a man who had just been sacked by Notts County - and mocking the importance of "so-called tactics" in football. The man's a buffoon and Gillingham is probably above his level.

Do you really need to be so aggressive mate? Kids read this board - any chance you can moderate your language a bit?

Spurs have already had two offers turned down up to £12m, Juve also interested, he's rated £20m+. Still, maybe we could do a swap deal for Puncheon.

Martin Allen, new manager of Gillingham, was talking about him on the radio at the weekend. Basically saying 'if Butland's worth £6m+ then this lad's worth more'. So I don't think he'd come cheap but he's clearly a great prospect.

The Guardian has 31,000,000 online readers globally. HTH.

I stand corrected, said the man in the orthopaedic shoes. I'm from Hythe and I never knew that. Huh.

Tommy Cooper was Welsh

Tbf there are 3 pages of hammers fans saying congrats, and then a few c*cks giving it the large one