FloridaMarlin

Perhaps she's like the queen and doesn't carry cash.

Drug testing in football is such a joke there is no need for anybody to get caught. Swimming and athletics have far more stringent testing and competitors can be tested anytime, anywhere. The drug testers can turn up at their houses at three in the morning. You don't have to let them in but miss three tests and you are considered guilty as Christine Ohuruogu found out to her cost. Football has no such out-of-competition testing. The testers have to present the Premier League with a list at the start of the season of the clubs they will be visiting and the dates they will be calling. And testers are only allowed to test those present at the training gound on the day (the true reason behind Rio Ferdinand's missed test and subsequent ban is pretty hilarious and farcical). So if your star striker is a coke hound, you simply make sure he is not there that day to take part in the pre-training session raffle where the names of those present are selected at random. Yes there is random post-match testing but as somebody previously pointed out, coke goes through your system in 36 hours so all he has to do is lay off it for two days before a game. Football has got these concessions from WADA and Sport England (who do the testing in this country) as the testers know it's the limit of cooperation they are going to get from a sport which is fully aware that its players are the template for recreational drug use - young men with plenty of relaxation time on their hands and a fair amount of disposable income - and which does have reputation to protect. The most surprising thing to me is not when somebody does get caught, but the fact that anybody gets caught from a system that is clearly designed to ensure what must be huge numbers of recreational users do not get netted. Quite often, the players who do get caught are those the club want to hang out to dry. I'm not saying this is the case with Livermore but it can give a club a good excuse to roll out the Gross Misconduct and breach of contract reason for sacking him.

It will be interesting to see if Daniel Levy can turn his nose up if Manchester United come in with a £40m bid for Kane, and Kane starts agitating to go.

The letters for CLyne would cost you a lot less than Alderweireld.

Extracts from the first interview kicking around. He's been given the script and has clearly been practising it like a jobbing actor suddenly asked to play the lead role, so he's word perfect. "An opportunity to manage this great club was something I didn't have to think twice about. "It's well-documented we speak too much about how strong the support is, we're getting 15 and 17,000 so we now need a team to be proud of. "Target for next season is promotion, let's not mess about." No doubt more of this guff to delude the gullible will soon be available.

Cook appointed. Managerial appointment quote bingo cards at the ready? Ladies and Gentlemen, eyes down. We'll pay out for a line, or the jackpot for a full house.

"Veteran defender Clint Hill does not apportion any blame to manager Chris Ramsey, who took over with the team already in the relegation zone after Harry Redknapp left in February." I should think not. The poor f***er was left right up Effluent Creek in a craft with no means of propulsion, which had sprung a leak and from which the captain had jumped faster than the skipper from the Costa Concordia. Redknapp added some crap to an already crap squad, and then bleated when he wasn't allowed any further spending. Goodness knows what the debt would have totalled had he been allowed to spend what he wanted. He really has no guilt over the position he leaves clubs in. Perhaps somebody can tell me of a single incident in Redknapp's career when he has left a team in a healthier state than when he joined it. I'm finding it really difficult to do so.

Why would a manager who has just missed out in the League One play-offs leave for a club who finished halfway up League Two? One word - money. They are clearly paying him more than Chesterfield could offer, and they have also probably promised him money for players because he wouldn't want to take charge of the current squad. Typical p****y mentality, thinking they are bigger than any club not only in League Two, but the division above as well. Also typical p*****y mentality in throwing cash they probably don't have at the footballing side. Any bets they will splash the cash on several players as well. As has been said above, somebody must be putting their hands in their pockets. But as what price? I wasn't all that impressed by Chesterfield in the play-off semi against Preston. They knock the ball around tidily, play some nice football, but have no punch. That should go down well among the great unwashed.

And being the tactical genius he is, Rodgers will play him out of position at left-back.

When I am asked who is the greatest player I have ever seen, being a little older, I have a longer list to choose from than young whippersnappers. So my list could include the likes of Pele, Maradona, Best (who I saw at The Dell a few times), as well as Ronaldinho, Messi and Ronaldo. I've given a bit of thought to this down the years, and I have come up with Cruyff. Nobody - not even Le Tissier - provided a greater buzz of expectation when they had the ball at their feet than him. You can find your own compilation of his goals on skills on Youtube, go ahead and drool. And he made it all so effortless and elegant. But it turns out that not only was he a great player, he was a far more influential coach than perhaps people realise, certainly at Barcelona, where he is revered and credited for putting in place much of what they have today. And even before he came here, Ronald Koeman was always among my top defenders, along with the likes of Bobby Moore, Franz Beckenbauer, Paolo Maldini and Franco Baresi. All were much more than just defenders. The fact we have a coach who was such a great player, and who is influenced by such an iconic figure, can only benefit us.

Don't you just love football fans, especially on a forum like this. A player makes no public declaration of his undying loyalty and he's rounded upon for agitating for a move. He says he is happy to stay, and the cynics then claim he is doing it deliberately to run down his contract. The only to either of these sets of people off his back would be to sign a new contract. But then that, of course, is just a means for the club to raise the asking price.

According to Chairman of the Board, Everything Is Tuesday.

Oops! It turns out that the mayor of Bournemouth, Chris Mayne, is a Saints fan. Let's hope his term of office ends before the first derby.

Portsmouth Schools FA were asked for £3,000 to stage some finals at the Cardboard Coliseum. Their brass neck knows no bounds considering two schools in the area were owed £15,000 and £11,000 respectively for use of their facilities by their school of excellence in their last administration, (not to mention the £41k King Edward's were owed). Doesn't do much for their standing as a community club. Also, it looks as though they might lose Jed 'the blue-shirted Messi' Wallace for peanuts as he has a £275,000 release clause in his contract. Another desperate negotiating punt as they banked on getting promotion this season. So of all the professional clubs on the south coast from Brighton to Plymouth, which is the lowest ranked? Ouch! That must hurt.

The media love-in will be all over them next season, easy story of plucky club fighting for their FL existence six years ago, talented young English manager, yadda, yadda, yadda. Not a bad thing as it will take some of the limelight off us and allow Ron to get on with his job in a quieter environment instead of people picking over the bones of our carcass. Let's see how they cope with Brenda Rodgers fluttering her eyelids at Calum Wilson, Wenger eyeing Kermorgant as Giroud's understudy and their players being picked off. Of course, as AFC is a feelgood story, there won't be talk of a meltdown as the media won't want to undermine their easy story. Is it worth starting a sweepstake as to when we see the first story of plucky Cherries battling to hold on to their stars?

Napalm, that fact is almost correct. He is the first Liverpool manager since the Shankly era (50 years ago) to not win a trophy in his first three seasons in charge. I notice in an article in the Daily Express today, he says he can ring success to Anfield "if I can get the tools" and said the club must be "forceful" in the transfer market this summer. How many more tools does he need? He signed everybody he wanted to sign last summer, spending the thick of £150m. How more "foreceful" do Liverpool need to be? They were quite forceful in persuading three of our players to go there last summer. He has spent something like £250m in his time there and all it has bought him this season is a Europa League place alongside Saints. His transfer record is poor, his use of the players at his disposal is poor, and his tactical awareness is not of the highest. He struck lucky in getting the Liverpool job, and many on Merseyside think he is not up to it. Not only that he really is an arrogant plumsack.

Wanyama says: "Wenger has been talking about me." To whom has Wenger been speaking? I've not seen any quotes in the media from Wenger regarding Wanyama. Who else might Wenger have been speaking to? Wanyama's agent? Wanyama himself? Surely, either would constitute an illegal approach. Has Wenger been playing a game of Chinese Whispers, whereby he tells a member of his backroom staff, who tells a player, who tells another player, and so on. "Wenger has been talking about me," could cover a multitude of scenarios.

Saint Scotby it's a shame the usual suspects hijack a thread which is undoubtedly of important ornithological importance, for their own juvenile purposes, which I don't find the least bit amusing. Like you, tits were once regularly to be seen from the back bedroom windows upstairs, if not in my garden then certainly next door. I am convinced the lack of tits on view this spring were due to the arrival of a new neighbour last summer. She has a pussy which was seen regularly towards the end of the summer and although she kept it indoors during the winter months (when she invited me in to play with it a couple of times) I have no doubt now the warmer weather is here the damn thing will be on view in her garden again soon. The pussy has clearly had a detrimental effect on the local birdlife but as an animal lover, the pussy does provide an alternative to the lively badger that can be seen in a house across the road, and has provided some excellent viewing in the past.

My abiding memory of Docker was in a Saints win at White Hart Lane. I think we won 3-1 and I think it was around 1969. He proved that he was a man of impeccable timing By stepping in front of a rampaging Cyril Knowles and adjusting his shoulder sufficiently to perform the perfect body check and use Knowles' own momentum to propel him across the running track, over the wall and into the crowd. It took several minutes to fish Knowles out and he looked decidedly wobbly as he gingerly made his way back on to the pitch. Strangely enough, he did not make too many more rampaging runs down the flank that day.

I read somewhere that he is the first Liverpool in the post-Shankly era not to win a trophy in his first three seasons in charge. As somebody else said, he got lucky last season when Suarez carried the side, and if poor AVB was sacked for spunking the money from the sale of Bale, what did Rodgers do with the proceeds from Suarez? He spent £150m last summer, add that to what he has previously spent, and the fact that it still hasn't bought Liverpool a trophy indicates he is not a great manager. I think the natives in Toxteth could turn on him very quickly after yesterday, especially if it turns out - as likely after Man City's win yesterday - that all his £150m expenditure last summer bought him was a similar Europa League spot to what Saints might end up with with considerably less spent, but with the thick end of £50m trousered from Liverpool's largesse.

You can't put somebody with dementia on trial. No right-minded person would consider a trial under such circumstances to be fair. The questions need to be asked of Leicestershire Police and the CPS who didn't prosecute him years ago. Some uniformed talking head from Leicestershire Feds was on the box last night, saying how disappointed he was at the CPS decision not to prosecute Lord Janner, completely overlooking the fact that they couldn't put together a case years ago when he was of sound mind.

Interesting that the inquiry into the Valley Parade fire lasted just five days. The Hillsbrough inquiry is still going on now. It's also easier to make these accusations when Heginbotham is dead. I know it's taken the author 15 years but I wonder if he would had published this book if Heginbotham was still alive?

But just look at that car park. The brightly coloured tarmac means you can see it from the air, and for those flying over, it exudes money, and screams: "Look at us, we can afford top quality tarmac." Just don't look at the rest of the ground. Is it my dodgy eyes, or perhaps an optical illusion, but that store appears to have a bigger surface area than the ground.

I had a ticket but didn't go. I always preferred to play than watch and Hampshire FA had issued a dictat that all Hampshire League games were to take place on the day of the semi-final. So I sold my ticket to one of my dad's mates, and prepared to play on the Saturday. You can guess where this is heading, can't you? We turned up to find the opposition not there. They had all gone to the semi-final, and didn't even have the guts or courtesy to tell us beforehand. Their secretary was at the ground and claimed he didn't know. I made doubly sure I got a ticket to the final. Looking at that video I was tickled by the shots of Saints dressing room after the game. I love the big enamel jug of tea laid on. With champagne also on offer, I don't suppose too much of the tea was drunk. Of course, there wouldn't be tea laid on nowadays. It would be isotonic, energy-restoring drinks.

They are more likely to end up with his brother Klippety.