Sheaf Saint

Even if we somehow manage to win this, it won't disguise the fact that we've been fucking dreadful yet again. Ramsdale has kept us in this, and you have to say Everton are looking far more likely to score than we are.

How's that not a foul on Manning?

Lallana going off was tactical, apparently. He was far and away our best player in the first half FFS.

Not on the bench today.

It's inexcusable really. If you can't match other teams for ability then at least make sure you can match them for fitness.

That was our best move so far.

Ooh! A shot! Our first shot! On 40 mins!

Gotta make a change at HT. Swap Arma for Dibling at least to give us some threat on the right. And surely we have better attacking options on the left than Manning, don't we?

Well this is predictably shit isn't it.

So.... 5 at the back, in a home game against another poor team with a woeful away record. Just so we can shoehorn Stephens in somehow. Dibling dropped. Is that supposed to be Arma and Archer as a front two? If it is then surely they are too similar to one another to be effective in that combination. If not then RM might be trying to be really clever again somehow by baffling everyone. Sugawara has been one of our best players so far this season but has been inexplicably dropped. Sulemana and Cornet have made sub appearances lately but don't even make the bench today, replaced by the hopeless BBD and the raw and inexperienced SAA. But no actual wingers starting who could exploit Everton's weakness at RB. We, however, have two RBs on the bench. It's almost like Russ doesn't actually want to try and win this game.

Very little if it is produced from renewable sources.

Kemi it is then. This is going to be interesting.

Only that's completely untrue. We actually did put a few crosses in to him and he even got his head on one or two of them.

Username checks out ✔️

Eh? We actually looked like we were trying to get an equaliser in injury time, and had the City defence pegged back more than we had managed in the whole game up til that point.

How did Haaland not score with that header?

Oh goody. yet another change in formation just to shoehorn Stephens back into the side. Not convinced a midfield pair of Downes and Lallana is going to put up much of a fight against City's attack. Seems far too lightweight for my liking.

Kevin Davies. When he came back from his failed move to Blackburn, he was very poor for us and looked like his career as a PL striker was well and truly over, but he found a whole new lease of life playing a somewhat different role for Bolton under Allardyce.

You seem surprisingly confident we would have actually scored if he'd given the penalty for the shirt pull by Ayew.

We managed to do it with the question of whether or not we should leave the EU, so it should be possible. Actually, that was a poorly judged, ill-thought out clusterfuck that has inflicted massive damage to this country, so let's not do that again.

Well that's bizarre, because I watched the replay and the defender clearly and obviously left his foot in to trip Dibling.

He was an absolute disaster at Everton, due to being stubborn and tactically inflexible. Sound familiar?

No idea who the ref was, but I remember us playing Man U in a cup game our L1 promotion season in 2010/11. No massive howler decisions, but the obvious bias on display was ridiculous. Literally every time a Utd player fell over he gave them a FK, but gave us nothing all game. There was a moment when one of our players was about to break forward and was cynically pulled down by the most obvious professional foul and nailed on yellow card you'll ever see, but he didn't even blow for a foul. As for the most awful individual decision, that goes to Uriah Rennie for disallowing a perfectly good goal by Ken Monkou against West Ham for an imaginary foul, when what actually happened was he turned Ruddock so brilliantly to get away from him, he ran into one of his own team mates and fell on his arse.

The same reason it's wrong to plant two different types of seed in a field or boil a baby goat in its mother's milk, if you're using the bible as a guide. Most people, however, are perfectly capable of recognising why murdering people is wrong, without the need for belief in fictional deities.