Whitey Grandad

And they can hand back their countries.

Is "truss the lettuce" one of those obscure parlour games that are best played naked?

Was anybody listening?

Just for the record here is the latest wording on offside. This has been softened up in the last couple of seasons and just standing in the middle of the goal is not enough any more. "A player in an offside position at the moment the ball is played or touched* by a team-mate is only penalised on becoming involved in active play by: interfering with play by playing or touching a ball passed or touched by a team-mate or interfering with an opponent by: preventing an opponent from playing or being able to play the ball by clearly obstructing the opponent’s line of vision or challenging an opponent for the ball or clearly attempting to play a ball which is close when this action impacts on an opponent or making an obvious action which clearly impacts on the ability of an opponent to play the ball" In my opinion Stephens is guilty of none of these unless he touches the ball in any way and I can only think that this was the subject under discussion by the officials. Nevertheless, the process of reaching their conclusion was unconventional. Ideally the Assistant will raise his flag if he thinks someone is in an offside position and may be interfering and then that part is sorted out between them. Having then come to a decision that an offence has occurred raising the flag is a bit wimpy. I can see how they arrived at their conclusion but it was all a bit of a guess. Anyone sitting where I was sitting could see that it was a clean goal. No VAR thankfully and in the end it didn't matter.

I think the silence should come first followed by the last post. But perhaps there is some protocol about it somewhere.

That doesn't matter. Having seen the replays I see that Stephens gets very close to healthy ball but doesn't actually touch it. Interfering with play means playing or touching the ball passed or touched by a team-mate." In my opinion (opinions may differ) Stephens doesn't meet any of the criteria for being given offside.

When you go to your surgery for a flu jab and they want you to sign a disclaimer. They harp on about vaccines being safe and then want you to sign your rights away. I signed mine 'Mickey Mouse'

The only good thing about it is that it's my great-granddaughter's first birthday.

I timed it at 20.

The ball went over all their heads and into the top of the goal. No dives necessary.

Only after 'consultation' with the referee and a check of their bank accounts. The usual procedure is to raise the flag if you think someone might be offside and then discuss it with the referee to decide if the offender was interfering or other.

He was embarrassed. And never getting anywhere near the ball.

Possible, but nowhere near the ball or the flight of the ball.

It took 15 minutes to disallow it.

Stephens CANNOT have come from an offside position. You can't be offside from a corner.