lettuce

Sounds like the opening scenes from the film "The Core"... they'll need to find a bunch of second-rate actors to launch a cheesey sci-fi expedition to the centre of the earth.

Born and bred in an industrial town between Liverpool and Manchester, furthest south I've ever lived is the midlands. Was dropped on my head as a small child and woke up seeing red-and-white stripes so started following Saints when I didn't even know exactly where Southampton was. Proud to be a not-proper Saints fan... and a northern one too!

The "toilet roll orientation" is another one that we disagree on... I insist on the end of the roll hanging from the side closest to the lav, she insists on it hanging from the side closest to the wall... honestly, sometimes I wonder why I married her (other than for the scintilating conversation about toilet rolls and car cigarette lighters) Of course, I'm correct because that's how toilet rolls are placed in hotels when they fold the corners into a point

I'm another that has to have the car stereo volume on an even number and also the climate control temperature setting (although 2 final odd digits like 17.5 is a compromise as they add together to create an even number.. 16.5 or 17.0 are complete no-no's) Also, the cigarette symbol on the lighter in the car always has to be lined up straight... the missus always leaves it wonky on purpose when she's been using the sat-nav because she knows it winds me up

I've got the same Ivar shelves from Ikea

I got stung by a bee the other day... 5 quid for a jar of honey!

I just got some of that new aftershave that smells of breadcrumbs, the birds love it!

The ones with the facial hair.

True, you can't polish a turd, but you can roll one round in glitter...

"An Impossible Job" - classic Graham Taylor England Manager documentary. "It's gotta go big... it's gotta go BIG!" "Platty! In to go out Platty!"

+1.

Scdajfu

Got no idea what something something is though...

Mother Theresa something something C\/nt?

Of course! Strangely, I did see someone eat a bathbomb once... at a wedding reception, all the women got bathbombs as "favours" but some p1ssed-up bloke thought they were giant love-heart sweets and stuffed the whole thing in his mouth... washed it down with a pint of Stella, he was foaming at the mouth poor chap!

"Subway" is like "Lush"... you can smell the shops about 100 metres before you see them. Personally, I'd rather eat a Lush bathbomb than something cobbled together in Subway.

MLT has been on Countdown loads of times, quite tricky to make a long word with them though.

Dennis Wise? Harry Redk*ap? Presumably no place in the side for Jo Tessem (ex-policeman)!

Hope you enjoyed your lunch! The "bought"/"brought" mistake is even creeping into spoken word, nevermind just being a typo or incorrect spelling... kids eh!? tch!

Please ban anyone who uses the word "brought" instead of "bought", as in "I just went to the Saints Mega Store and brought a new Saints packed lunch box"... that is all I ask for.

That's why he was so good at handling crosses. Chris Turner( ex-Sheffiled Wednesday manager?) was a goalkeeper.

Send it to me, I'll ensure it is *ahem* disposed of.

People who use the term "maxi zoom dweebies" make me lol

Nice idea, but the problem is that the result of any majority vote would probably be a sensible, well-thought out statement, not the sort of controversial, sensationalist material that sells papers.

The ones in Sainsbury's aren't so bad. It's the ones in B&Q make that me laugh, watching someone trying to manouevre 2 fence panels and a bag of cement into the "bagging area"! Fast-track at Sainsbury's is the best... you get to go round the shop with a little hand scanner, pretending to be a traffic cop. "Yes Sarge, I've just clocked an old dear doing 35 in the fruit'n'veg aisle"