Crouchie's Lawyer

Did this a good few years ago on here and it seemed to be received well so thought as time has past, it maybe worth doing again: The idea of the thread (and let's try and keep it Lounge based rather than sliding into Muppet Show territory) is to give a general idea of what you do for a living. A kind of network should anyone require anything. I for one would be happier employing the services of a fellow Saints fan and if we can help each other out in these times of economic downturn it is only a good thing right? So, please let us know what you do and hopefully we can generate a bit of business for each other or when certain advice is needed, know who to turn to to seek help. I'm a mortgage and protection broker by the way. I have whole of market access and access to exclusive rates you wouldn't be able to get on the high street. Happy to assist if anyone's mortgage rate has or is due to expire or if you are looking to borrow extra money, add or remove someone from your Mortgage or wish to move home. Likewise if you are looking for protection like life cover, critical illness or income protection then I can help there too. Please feel free to PM me or email greystonesben@yahoo.co.uk and i'd be happy to assist. Ben ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Ok, so I thought it would be a good idea to have a directory at the top of the thread for quick reference. Maybe the mods would be kind enough to make this a sticky and as it grows it should hopefully be useful. Me (Crouchie's Lawyer) (Post #1 & 2) - 'Whole of Market' Mortgage & Protection Advisor (Remortgages, House Purchases, secured loans, life assurance, critical illness etc) http://www.powermortgages.co.uk St Landrew (via Saint in Paradise) (post #9) - Floor layer (carpets etc) Pap (Post #10) - Freelance systems designer & implementer specialising in web based systems Block 18 (Post #11) - Plumbing & Heating installer (Installations, breakdowns, servicing) Socal Saint (Post #12) - Photographer (Based in Oregon) Dr Who? (Post #14) - Credit Manager / Debt Collection / soon to be Tiler Dubai Phil (Post #15) - Tour Guide (Dubai) / Semi-Professional Golf Tournament Marshall / Asset Management Business (Based in Dubai). Hatch (Post #16) - Original Contemporary Art Dealer (£10k - £2m) Saint Scooby (Post #18 ) - Taxi service (http://www.zip-newforest.com) Golden Balls (Post #19) - Account Manager for Bacardi-Brown Forman (http://www.pourfection.com) Monk (Post #20) - Foundation and academy Football Coach Dibden Purlieu Saint (Post #21) - Business Analyst (Improving business processes and systems) Dimond Geezer (Post #25) - Structural Technician/Draughtsman (planning & building reg drawings for house extensions etc). Saintscottofthenortham (Post #26 & 73) - Electrician & PC new builds/upgrades/repairs Colinjb (Post #27) - Area Sales Manager for an Industrial Lubricants firm SNSUN (Post #30) - Tube Ticket Office Staff (Heathrow group of the Piccadilly Line) Ampersound (Post #32) - Freelance IT Consultant (specialising in Windows Server support and Data Centre relocations) Monkeyboy (Post #34) - Freelance sports injury specialist and personal trainer. http://www.hantshealth.com Swansea_saint (Post #36) - Hydraulics Test Engineer / Soon to be Aerospace Design Engineer (Filtration company) Wade Garrett (Post #41) - Crane (Liebherr) Driver Draino76 (Post #42) - US Asset Manager in London Lettuce (Post #43) - Embedded Software Developer (Automotive Industry - specialising in electric power steering systems for "niche" vehicles) Miserableoldgit (Post #45) - Site Manager in Housebuilding Andy_Porter (Post #46) - Property Maintenance - carpentry, decorating etc (http://www.agp-maintenance.co.uk) LGTL (Post #47) - (Soon to be) Fully Qualified PE Teacher Badgerx16 (Post #48 ) - IT Security, Network Design & Management, Technical Infrastructure, Project Management & Consultancy (Public sector - North West) Hamster (Post #49) - 1:1 support to people with mobility problems or/and a disability (Kent or one off events / weekends away) Emerson Massey (Post #50) - I'm a Post Production Sound Engineer (TV/Radio/Cinema Adverts, viral, online interactive & film work) Notnowcato (Post #51) - Business Analyst Manager Viking Warrior (Post #53) - Personnel Officer (soon to be) Senior HR Adviser / Also has a medical background GenevaSaint (Post #54) - Risk Manager (Operational Risk) IT background through programming, system admin & security sme timebomb (Post #60) - Technical Specialist - Office Eqiupment (Specialising in Ricoh) Fat Freddy's Cat (Post #62) - Electronics Technician (Soton Uni) - Mainly repairs, some custom builds COMEONYOUREDS (Post #66) - Civil/Structural/M&E Draughting & Solid Modelling. 2D & 3D AutoCAD, Microstation, Revit Etc & IT services. New build PCs/repairs View From The Top (Post #76) - Head of Numeracy and ITT in a FE/ACL crossover Saint_in_munich (Post #77) - Structural PDMS Offshore Oil and Gas designer thefunkygibbons (Post #79) - Finance Director for an integrated telecoms company. (Provide mobile, Blackberry & fixed line services for the Corporate market & install/maintain telephone systems & provide hosted Telephony & VOIP products). Bridgey (Post #80) - Account Manager for IT company offering Telepresence, Video Conferencing, Engineering and Recruitment services - mainly to a $40bn company but also to the SME market. Saintsfancam (Post #81) - Client Manager for British Standards Institute. Specialise in ISO9001 (quality systems), ISO14001 (environmental systems) and product test. (electro-mechanical industry sectors) Keep them coming guys, would be great to get a big list of people together! If people have a need as well, please post it on here (as Aussiedog has although sorry mate, I think you maybe hard pressed to find a landscaper willing to commute that far without expenses ) I can put a 'wanted' section. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- WANTED Jillyanne - Solicitor / Legal Advice (Hope you dont mind me putting that Jill? Just saw the other thread and thought you would welcome any help) Draino76 - CV's for potential jobs in Asset Management (Based in London) Pap - Software ideas for gaps in different industries Bridgey - CV's for jobs in IT recruitment (from amother thread) Notnowcato - CV's for skilled, agile Business Analysts in a $110bn ICT business

One of the best threads in here in a long time

God there are a lot of b!tches on here! Like I initially said, I didnt know how reliable the initial information was or even if it was a wind up. As I do not have twitter I was merely asking if someone could verify the information I had seen. As pointed out by a couple of the 'kinder' posts, the information I had seen about 'THE Championship top scorer' was wrong and the tweet was 'A Championship top scorer'. That is enough for me to realise it isnt Lambert as it could be a number of people! I too thought there was/is no way we would let Lambert go but was interested to see what this was about. Regardless of who WHU were/are after it is also interesting to see who our rivals are buying so the thread has served other purposes too. But there is no need for all the face palms and cries of 'the messenger should be shot'. Did I anywhere say we are selling Lambert? Some people on here feel they have to post just for the hell of it and make no real contribution to threads at all. I saw a bit of information which (albeit was wrong) said 'THE top scorer' and knowing it was Lambert, wanted someone who had the tools to investigate. Rant over.

Dont shoot the messenger, I do not know how reliable this is or even if it is wind up. If someone who has Twitter could validate it, it would be appreciated... One of my mates on the book of Face has just posted that he has seen a Tweet from the Son of the West Ham owers that claims they are signing the championship top scorer tomorrow!? I am right in thinking that is Lambert isnt it? I am hoping there is another Championship and this Tweet if true is referring to a Championship in another country or is just a made up Tweet. Like I said, I have no clue if this is true and would appreciate if someone can check it out if they have Twitter, maybe 'Tweet' the person back to do some digging? I am sure we wouldnt having just signed a top striker let Lambert go and I am sure it is a wind up or mix up but still thought I would share...

How can you say you're not repetitive?! Look back through your last 100 posts and count how many times you have said the same thing! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and whilst enthusiastic about the season ahead I too will admit I felt our aim for the season was to cement our position in the NPC before building our attack on the prem over the next 2 years. BUT we have done a lot better than my initial expectations and I am made up about that. Consequently I have changed my views about what we are expecting this season. To feel we are still hoping for anything better than 17th is deluded at best.

Dalek, please feel free to simply copy and paste the above to every other thread on the forum. It will save you lots of time. I do not think there is 1 person on this forum who missed your repetitive moaning and wumming in the summer about how we will finish 17th but you really are getting to be a tiresome **** now. You Litterally post the same message in every thread. You're either a tireless wum or you're incredibly stupid. You say you're not a wum so I'm guessing it's the latter. You want people to stop calling you a wum? Then STOP FACKING REPEATING YOURSELF!! It's beyond funny

Could you remind us again of what you said back in June. I seemed to have missed it on EVERY single post you've made since then...

Loan to premier league Sunderland on a good wage or drop down to championship and reduction in wages.... Hmmm tough one! I swear some people need to engage their brains before letting their fingers type. You may as well ask about our thoughts on signing Messi!

He has done a good job this far. By far exceeding my expectations and to all those who say "would you have taken 2nd place at the beginning of the season?" the obvious answer is yes. BUT it's not the end of the season is it and at the moment since the end of Nov, beginning of Dec we have been in decline. I am completely aware we have key players missing and will have them back shortly but for how long? We cannot be naive enough to think that when RL, AL, JF and RC come back that they will be available for the rest of the season, injury and suspension free. If the last month or so has shown us anything it is that you need a capable squad not just starting 11 and I think this is where we are struggling. My only bug bear at the moment is that I think someone isn't letting on something about why we are not buying quality for the final push? Seems in NA's post match interview last night he resigned that we may not bring anyone else in but that it was fine because we have players coming back from injury. My short response to that would be - what if they get injurries again?

Just a really random thought and by no way my opinion just a wild assumption but run with it a second... Maybe we don't have any money any more? We are run very well financially so do not believe we are making a loss so to speak but maybe since ML passed the club hasn't got new money to spend? All this talk about youth coming through and 50% of our team coming from our future kids could point to this. Could be the most paranoid way of looking at this but: What if we are concerned about losing our best players? Case point being Poopey... Everyone knows they have no money so can pillage their team of the better players at a low price. Imagine if others knew we had no money. Whilst we may not have to sell, it would be a lot harder to turn down serious realistic offers? What's the best way of keeping serious, realistic offers at bay? Make out you are minted and it would only take ludicrous offers to part with your best players! Teams will not even bother making an offer if they think we will ask double or even treble what they are willing to pay as we have so much money. How can we do this? Simples, we make massive offers for players we know we don't have a chance in getting like Rodrigues and Hooper etc. It keeps us fans happy too believing we have ambition as well as keeping the bigger teams away from our star players. Only backlash to deal with us come the end of the window when we do not sign the big name we were initially led to think we would but throw us a bone like Tadanari Lee and SDR and it keeps us happy for the time being albeit at a fraction of the cost. Just a random thought so don't slate me. I dont know anything about our finances it's just a bit bizarre we are not investing a little more at a time when we are so close to the big prize and I wonder if there are other reasons for it?!

Will remain the same I guess. Very poor performance and not what we need with the games we have coming up. Other than beating two very poor teams recently (one in the cup which I don't give a feck about) we have been poor for a while now. I appreciate teams go off the boil but it highlights we need a battling midfielder in the absence of Chappers as our poor form has coincided with his absence. We desperately need another reliable forward as well. Guly and Connolly are fine as secondary strikers to the main man but don't seem to be able to cut the mustard when Rickie is out against decent oppo and Martin has done ok in Fonte's absence but we need another class CB too. We will never panic buy, it's not in Cortese's nature but we do need to do something... Soon in my opinion. If we have Cardiff, Birmingham and West Ham coming up we could soon find ourselves out of contention of automatic promotion if we don't get out of this funk

We're gonna get rinsed. Can't see us scoring at all but every time Leicester go forward they look like bagging one. Had to be that pr!ck Nugent too which scored first

Official club'ber' I'll get paid to test out all the local clubs. Grading each one based solely on the looks of the female frequenters and how easy they are. It will be a tough job but I'll take one for the team and step up

After last nights anticlimax I think the whole open training session backfired a little. I'm sure they would have got a hell of a lot more turnout had we signed some exciting players. Dont get me wrong, Im sure the few that went enjoyed themselves but Im guessing the main aim of it was to get the feel good factor up with the new stiker that never was....

"him off" boomtish

I know a few people have been slated for critisizing NA/NC for our transfers but if the J Rod debacle is true then we have seriously messed up. We have 'apparently' been tracking him for weeks and wait to the last minute to make an offer only to find out that he doesnt even want to come to us?! I hope NC wasnt thinking he would be shrewd in making a last minute offer they wouldnt be able to refuse and therefore we would get our man... SURELY we would have sussed out if he was prepared to come to use before using this approach?! I am now starting to question whether we have messed up things in this window losing out on players etc. I know we have got Fox, De Ridder & Cork but we have seemingly lost out on far more than we have got in and if you buy enough lottery tickets you will eventually win... I'll reserve final judgement for tomorrow am when all has been finalised but we have tried and failed a hell of a lot it seems recently and that to me is not good enough.

Ties in with the SSN news rumour... Has your mate blagged you on the fact that he has signed or has your mate just read the SSN page and passed this on? I'll reword that... Have we signed him and it's just waiting to be officially announced or it is still a rumour?

Other than the little tantrum which he had whilst at Leeds when we played them (and later apologised for) does anyone know where the 'bad attitude' tag comes from with him? I've seen it a million times before when players come off and throw a mini hissy fit. Tevez has done it before but would people say he has a bad attitude?! It just shows passion and willingness to succeed. Chanelled correctly it can lead to great players and IMO NA gets the best out of players. As players grow up and get older the majority of them settle down and learn to control their attitudes, look at Anelka... He is hardly what he used to be. I trust NA and NC with this one and know a player of his skill would tear up this division alongside RL. I think our only stumbling blocks would be if he is prepared to drop a division (he has played quite a few at Prem level) and his wage which is no doubt a lot higher than we would offer. Those two reasons lead me to think it won't happen but it would be one hell of a coup if we pulled it off!

FFS with our spondooleys I would have expected us to have gone out and got the two players we obviously should have signed by now, you know the two, the defender and striker... Benson & Hedges, they would complete our team

Hmmmm, unsure about this one... something smells a bit fishy. I presumed there was an issue with him not wanting to drop down a division which is fair enough but then to see he has signed for Reading is a bit upsetting?! He stated that he joined Reading because he thinks he has a good chance of returning to the Prem with them, does he not think this is possible with us? Now, considering we are top of the league and unbeaten I find this hard to believe. Im sure if we were in for him we would have sold him 'the vision' of the club. So, that to me smacks of 2 things: 1) We were simply never in for him (which would be an oversight on our part if the case as he looks like the kind of defender we need!) or 2) Reading have exceeded what we were willing to pay for him. In NA & NC I trust but come on guys, you want quality, you have to pay for it sometimes and we are not going to attract the kind of player we need to get that final push to the Premiership if we are offering peanuts. I'm wondering if the excellent start has hindered our transfer activity in anyway. I hope to hell someone hasnt seen the 4 games we have won and thought "I dont need to invest any money in this, it will be fine as it is..." I echo what a few others have said in regards to the Fontaine deal falling through. To hear some of their fans say they would drive him down here themselves for £400k and then to offer double this was a little worrying. I am not saying I would have got on the players back had he signed, but to me it seemed like a desperation signing. I would rather we played Seabourne or Martin there than spend money willy nilly for the sake of it. I sure hope that NA & NC have a few surprises to pull out of their sleeves before deadline day which will put a smile on our faces because I still think we are 2 or 3 quality players away from really competiting for the whole season. A striker and a CB as everyone knows is what we need.

110

Mods can the title of this thread now be changes to simply 'Maynard'? Annoys me everytime I look at it and think he is coming...

Wahay!!

Yup Mister Neil got the better of me too, I thought I knew how he did it (possible copy and paste of 'll' or alternatively using the || but that just doesnt look right ********. Even if I copy and paste his bоllocks (which sounds very wrong) it doesnt work! I'll be very impressed if you can name the club Adkins used to manage though...

I also think it is ********. Has Skacel signed yet? ********