Johnny Bognor

What a load of ********. If you were going to pull off the biggest cover up in the history of mankind, you would alert the media....not. If you were that stupid, you could never pull it off and get away with it. This if anything, proves that there is no way 911 was a conspiracy.

+1 :-)

Don't worry guys, Labour are discussing their investment strategy http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8262168.stm

That's a seperate issue and a seperate argument. That riposte is no different to me saying, why should I pay more tax as I didn't cause the crunch? It is a clever distraction from the debate at hand and the fact of the matter is that we were spending unsustainable amounts on the NHS long before the credit crunch. So here's a solution. Why don't we hire the 3 million unemployed (thus fixing one problem) and overstaff all of the public services - services would approve no-end across the board and we would have no unemployment. Job done. Oh no, I forgot, someone has to pay for it.

The fact that productivity has fallen 10% means one of two things: - There are too many people (which could include bureaucrats) - They are working less hard (which means they could lose a few, if the rest work like they used to)

The fact of the matter is that productivity has fallen 10% since 1997, despite the doubling of spending on the NHS and 'efficient' procurement procedures.

I think the wave of Labour "investment" will sort out the problem.

I think the "man hole" cover is quite a fitting tribute too.

Paddy has broken his leg and his mate Mick goes round to see him. Mick says 'how you doin?' Paddy says ' do us a favour, nip upstairs and get me slippers,me feet are freezing.' Mick goes upstairs and sees Paddy's gorgeous 19-year-old twin daughters sitting on the bed ... He says 'your dad's sent me up here to **** the both of you '. They say 'get away with ya.. prove it.' Mick shouts downstairs 'Paddy, both of em?' Paddy shouts back 'of course both of em, what's the point of f#ckin one?'

I thought he was dead, when I went past this the other day. http://img19.imageshack.us/img19/6122/stepsy.jpg

I think anyone who goes to a shop, cafe or restaurant and asks "Can I get a....." should be executed. They are destroying a language that has taken many thousands of years to perfect.

There is another funny story (probably more funny if you know the person), but here goes..... Cabin Crew used to smoke on the stairs to the rear door many moons ago. A friend was havng a crafty ciggie on the platform at the top of the stairs when the driver of the moving stairs drove off. She was left at the top of the stairs (hanging on for dear life) until it got back to the terminal.

There was one recently in the news where the train driver announced: "Good morning ladies and gentlemen. I have some bad news and some good news. The bad news is that the engine's broken. The good news is that you are not on a 747."

My other half is senior cabin crew for a transatlantic airline. I hear loads of stories about what goes on and this one does make me chuckle. They had a z-list celeb who said "Do you know who I am?". This was followed by this announcement: "Attention all passengers. We have a passenger seated in 34K who doesn't known who they are. If anyone can offer assistance with this, please make yourself know to cabin crew."

An excellent move for two reasons: 1. it is a chance to make more money 2. More beer being sold will result in it being changed more frequently (and hence the tast might improve?) In the early days at SMS, the bar used to be open at the end of a game and quite a few would stay back and indulge.

There are examples of top executives taking the ****. Take the phoenix 4 at MG Rover extracting £45m from the business over its' last few years. In my mind, this is bordering on criminal. Rewards are supposed to be for success, not abject failure. This culture, not helped by the banking sector, does not help. This is where the government needs to act. Allow the rewards for success, but penalise those that are rewarding themselves for failure. Having said that, I think businesses are learning. In the last recession, the first act was to reduce headcount. In this recession, employers seem to be more creative in dealing with falling revenues. Many are reducing salaries across the board in order to keep everyone employed (either straight reductions or reduced working hours). This serves two purposes: 1. keeps people in work. 2. It means you don't lose a skilled workforce that you have to replace when the good times roll again. It is this type of creativity that that will ultimately help UK PLC. The posties will have their say, but as I've said, I really think they are on a hiding to nothing and ultimately they will damage their own job prospects. Unfortunately I think many are being manipulated by the CWU into fighting for some cause, which will eventually result in them losing their jobs. There are some groups of the RM that are fiercely against the strikes and recognise the need to modernise. This current strike is bourne out of the heavily unionised London centres and an issue is being created by them. Just as the big businesses are taking the ****, I think the CWU also has a lot to answer for. Watcing this from the sidelines, it's like watching those poor souls going over the top in WW1 - you know what's going to happen and you know most won't be coming back. Industrial action in the public sector has more chance of working, but the Royal Mail (albeit public owned) is operating in an industry with fierce competition and is for all intents and purposes in the private sector - the firefighters don't have this competition and so industrial action is more likely to work. In my mind, there has to be another way and the CWU and RM executives have to work together, not against each other, because if they don't it is going to be an unmitigated disaster.

What I am saying is if we carry on these lines, there will be no work for the workers and no wages. As it happens, workers do have rights already and the minimum wage has significantly lifted the earnings of the low paid. So things have improved and whilst one could argue about more being done, but there is a balance. If you go too far with it, we will lose and/or are losing our competitiveness as a nation and then what? Look at the CWU and their dispute with RM - jobs will be lost as a result and we will be exporting our profits to Germany and the Netherlands. This leaves less in the pot for UK PLC and so how can this be a good thing? If you want an NHS and good public services, this has to be paid for by creating wealth and to create wealth we either have to remain competitive or we have to innovate - as a nation we doing neither. So I am calling for balance here if we as a nation want to grow.

Indeed. So the union is fighting for the right of their workers, albeit those that don't get the chop in the next round of cuts. Downstream access will be the mainstay of RM's business for the foreseeable future. But the issue is not just the business lost to the private sector, with the RM providing downstream. More and more people will turn to alternatives such as online communications and email - already more than 50% of direct marketing communications are sent by email - thus further reducing the need for RM staff. Outside of the marketing arena, with email billing, online payments and the like, who would want to use a service that is prone to shut down every time the union fancies a bit of sabre rattling. All in all, the CWU aren't really fighting for jobs for the workers - they are actively destroying them.

And you think it should be? There is still a cost in lost productivity or providing cover. The plans are on hold for now, due to the recession, but it won' be long before it's on the table. But, hey, let's keep going with all of these rights and interruption to work, screw the employers and eventually the economy. I am all for wealth distribution, but at the rate we're going, there will be nothing left to distribute.

Royal Mail workers have been striking for weeks. They are now due to go on National Strike. Ironically, DHL have seen a massive surge in volumes as business mailers switch their work from the Royal Mail to the other alternatives. If that work does not come back, guess what? More job losses in the Royal Mail. A perfect example of how protecting workers rights reduces the actual number of workers. As it happens, the union are going back on their 2007 agreement. In 2007 60 per cent of days lost in the whole UK economy through industrial action were down to Royal Mail employees, a total of 600,000 days. 2009 looks likely to follow a similar pattern, but this time the government are unwilling to intervene and Royal Mail more determined then ever to see its plans through. Both sides have met over recent weeks but each party has maintained its own line on ending the dispute with little or no common ground. Lord Mandelson described the CWU's stance as a "head-in-the sand approach" and that the Royal Mail urgently needed to change and modernise to turn itself round and compete effectively. "The union nationally agreed a way forward two years ago. But its own branches are standing in the way of progress. The need for modernisation in Royal Mail has not gone away. We are looking for the changes to Royal Mail’s operations and working practices agreed under the 2007 pay and modernisation agreement to be delivered. Endless industrial relations problems and disputes are damaging the company and their ability to compete.”

The problem is we are going from one extreme to another. IMO, neither is too good. How about 2 weeks off to help the mrs recover and then get back to work to provide for the new addition to the family? That's what we have now, what's wrong with that? I would rather set an example of responsibility and hard work, rather than set the example of a lazy and workshy layabout father. How is the small business going to cope? It is just another cog in the wheel that is taking our means of wealth creation to the Far East.

I think you jest. I don't have a problem with a basic safety net, but things are now going too far. Here is a great example. Take paternity leave - fathers will soon have the right to 12 months paternity leave. What ever happened to the father getting a phone call from the hospital, whilst down the pub, telling him whether he was the proud father of a boy or girl. Do men now want to take 12 months off work to nurse a baby? We are turning into a nation of leftie pussies.

We as a nation cannot compete anymore and us 'europeans' are handing our means of wealth creation to India and China. In today's global economy workers rights and striking inevitably leads to the destruction of wealth. Instead of protecting workers rights, legislation and bureaucracy reduces the work that comes to these shores, thus reducing the work for the workers to do, which leads to further job losses and the destruction of wealth. Whatever the rights and wrongs of globalisation, we are where we are and the only way to compete on a level playing field is to not have our hands tied by outdated and outmoded socialist ideoligies.

Butter? Not any old butter, only Lurpak will do. Apart from that: Melted Cheese & Beans Melted Cheese and Sliced Tomato Melted Cheese with chopped up ham Beans & Ketchup Scrambled, Poached or Fried Eggs Strawberry Jam Marmalade

A pirate walked into a bar and the bartender said, 'Hey, I haven't seen you in a while. What happened? You look terrible.' 'What do you mean?' said the pirate, 'I feel fine.' Bartender, 'What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before.' Pirate, 'Well, we were in a battle and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now.' Bartender, 'Well, OK, but what about that hook ? What happened to your hand?' Pirate, 'We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook. I'm fine, really.' Bartender 'What about that eye patch?' Pirate, 'Oh, one day we were at sea and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up and one of them **** in my eye.' 'You're kidding,' said the bartender, 'you lost an eye just from bird ****' Pirate, 'It was my first day with the hook.' Aharr ,Jim me lad