dubai_phil

I forwarded the link to my usual joke list in my address book. It seems to have had a bigger impact and response than anything I've sent out for ages, already within 3 hours about 15% of the Dubai femals population have 1) Seen it 2) Decided never to take up or go out with a Golfer 3) Have decided to become Lesbian if this is what old blokes look like No they didn't think my watching request was funny either This could have been a mistake of global banking proportions

5/10 was mad at getting the portable one wrong, I actually had one of those old compaqs at home for a while, never knew Big Blue made one as well!

Shouldn't this be under the Golfing Tips thread in the Lounge? As in things NOT to do on a golf course?

Unfortunately she understood football only too well.... hence the pain inflicted by the unanswerable questions. The next problem will of course be cricket But I think that will be far easier. I'll only have to explain what an Over is not about Takeovers... LBW vs Helpmerhonda/LLS/Yachts/Trousers/F5 buttons/ITK..... piece of cake

:-) Actually I am having a bigger problem. Saints at Coventry on telly watching with a female "why are your team not very good"........ Then about 3 days ago Saints at Birmingham on telly as a PL Gold game. "why this Beattie and Bridge not play at Coventry...." But is same team yes? Same shirts? so why they not playing, if they older then they better than the children No? So then comes the whole well we had a lot of mistakes and then a takeover that wasn't a takeover then a takeover that didn't happen and then BOOM.....

Oh if it was only that easy.... It would still leave the finances in a mess and anyone new coming in still has a lot of tidying up to do. Attendances are a big part of that but even at a zero cost, the risk of failure to a successful businessman in the current economic mess is simply too high. Who is to say that Barclays won't expect the newcomer to clear up some of the overdraft? And at this moment, no businessman would expect to sell their assets at rock bottom prices just to raise the money to pay off Barclays even IF they had the money in a deposit account they may not (like AIG) be able to get that money out We're facing a complete mess - internal and fan-base politics, hung-over financial largesse, high earners we could not move adding 2million a year to the wage bill, global meltdown and fans who worry where the next credit card payment is going to come from. I was never that far across into the Alpine negativity camp before but I am getting VERY worried these days

hahahahahahahahahahahha best one of the day

It seems that TSW is not the only place that has an issue with Cashley. I read this and smirked but it also made me think of BWP & Dyer...... http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/columnists/jimwhite/2344799/Cole-proves-his-worth-by-giving-us-the-biggest-yawn-of-the-year.html

wow that was cool, thanks. I've set my avatar based on the latest news about the takeover, marvellous

Have you SEEN the size of the green! 50x 60 and like an upside down pudding bowl. grrrr The local Montgomerie course (designed by his lordship) has one par three with a lake, the green is in the middle. It is 60 yards wide and 140 yards long. It is NOT a hole where you want to have to make a recovery putt after a bad slice - how the heck are you supposed to putt 100 yards when you ain't Happy Gilmour (Don't worry Hamster - you have these joys to come!)

Hey I did par it Once And even had a birdy putt three times.... grrrrrrrr

24 down to 18 and back to 24 - that's why I advise never listening to advice But I'm also an old fart these days with a bad back trying to play 475 yard long par fours

Occassionally I am lucky enough to play off grass. But normally off of sand, bits of trees, some weeds, an occassional car park Been waiting for that one all week!

Charlton have taken over West Ham? Crikes I knew the Icelandic bloke was in trouble......

Don't post about doing "not legal/moral" things on TMS as somebody somewhere can google what you said

Nah he is right about ignoring advice but it's a very good book that tells you to ignore advice:-) OK so you REALLY want to learn? and have some holidays coming up? Mid December we have the Dubai Ladies Masters and in January the Dubai Desert Classic DLM will see Anika Sorenstam's farewell party. DCC will probably not see Tiger but will still be one of the strongest fields in the European PGA tour until the climate warms up in Europe. (google for dates) I work there every year and they recruit volunteers to work as crowd control & saftey Marshalls. People fly in from all over the world. You get full access to walk the fairways and to be right in the thick of the action. Simply following three pro's you've never heard of, their caddies a scorer and a bloke walking his dog will teach you more about how to play the game than ANY lessons. all you have to do is spend 5 days (inc pro-ams) half walking half running around in temperatures of about 30C. IF you smooze well you may end up with someone famous, but that involves actually having to work harder! Volunteers get free entry, free food a cap and a souvenir T-Shirt as well as access to the after party and our own tournament with the course still set up for the championship a week after the event finishes It is without any shadow of a doubt THE single most fantastic thing I have ever been able to do while in Dubai. I worked damned hard at it and became a senior marshall, allowing me to not just watch Els, Woods, Montgomerie, Garcia & Jimenez et al from about 3 feet away but also to get to talk to them. All the main events have web sites across the whole of Europe and ask for volunteers, apply, enjoy and work HARD at controlling your crowd and watch proper players fook it up as much as you do. Favourite moments - Laura Davis last year (bless her) on the par 5 13th hit her 2nd into water, dropped a ball and flubbed it straight into the water. Took an 8 and cost her the Ladies championship. She turned to us and said - "there, see bet you feel better now knowing we can do the same as you guys". And she bought us a beer afterwards Ian Poulter 4 years ago, mashed, gets on stage with the "unplugged" band and promptly bursts into a version of Wonderwall - today is gonna be the day that I'm gonna hit a 62... all about his Titleist Ball, then bought beer for the whole bar. Top bloke good singer And of course, Dubai Phil on CNN seen sharing a joke with Roger Federer and Tiger Woods... Priceless

Charlton jumped the gun with their announcement?

Ah but the truth is out there. I could of course repeat the exercise as Saudi Phil, which would of course cover the variations from the Magic Kingdom, or maybe Peshawar Phil where the sort of Friday afternoon & Sunday thing works Or I could in fact be covering up the fact that it is really me that is buying the club using the leveraged buyout techniques that my Golf Buddy gave me enabling me to take my 36 Dirhams from the back of the sofa, a couple of old photocopies of a blokes mortgage bill I found in a dustbin in Miami and turn them into 30 mil of debt, or of course it could be that the whole Charlton thing was a smokescreen to get Rupert to drop his price. Or not as the case may or may not be. Don't you LOVE takeover threads

For those with long memories of matchday reports. I think it was around Christmas when WGS was in charge and we played away at Newcastle. We went expecting a result but were awful. In his post match comments WGS was very down, and used a particular line that I still remember "There are Dark Forces at work within the club" I think the article was in the Telegraph. Never worked out what it was referring to, allegations could include the wife swapping, a drugs problem, or outside interference, but the choice of words seemed very odd at the time. I found this link :- After the defeat by Newcastle, Strachan said he had not known such a depressing run of form in his two years at the club. Yet amid rumours of dressing-room dissent fomented by a few troublemakers - the midfielders Anders Svensson and Fabrice Fernandes reportedly to the fore http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/premier-league/southampton-struggle-to-cast-out-dark-forces-572387.html But a historian may remember the article and one day someone will bump into WGS in Tesco's and can ask him what he really meant. It was not long after that we heard the first mumblings that he may not renew his contract

Welcome to the ranks of the old fat bstds Matt.

It's my birthday in less than a week, I'm double 23 and more and all I wanted was to be at the Watford game which IS less than 50 quid. But it's 600 quid for the airfare so sod that I'd settle for a new computer desk that doesn't give me RSI

Gentlemen, Ladies and Trousers. I wish to point out one enormous flaw in this speculative thread, and can do so with great gravitas as I am for once completely and utterly ITK. WRONG. You see it is made up assumptions like this that start the whole TSW melting down yet again over nothing. Wednesday is NOT the new Friday in the Arab World. Thursday is and has always been Friday. For a long while however it is fair to state that in fact Thursday afternoon was Saturday, with Thursday morning taking on the role of Friday. Approximately 8 years ago, Thursday then became the new Wednesday, with Friday becoming the new Saturday. This was implemented for all schools and government offices. However due to the demands of multi-national corporations, at the same time, despite the best efforts of the legislators, a three tier new Friday developed. For local companies Thursday afternoon remained the new Saturday. For the Government & Schools, Wednesday was the new Friday, Thursday was the new Saturday and Friday became Sunday. For the MNC's Thursday remained the new Friday, Friday remained Saturday and Saturday became Sunday. Obviously this situation could not continue so legislation was passed 2 years ago that standardised Thursday as Friday, Friday as Saturday and Saturday as Sunday. Unfortunately for many still employed in local companies they remain with Thursday being both Friday and Saturday. I hope this now clarifies matters and brings an end to the debate. I also believe it does FINALLY lay the ghost to bed as to why nothing is ever quite as it seems. Oh, just to make things crystal clear, for MNC's Sunday is of course the new Monday. (so yes we work from Sunday to Thursday inclusive which is why you should NEVER believe a takeover story involving Arab money being announced on a Friday) HTH

:-)

:-)

I have NO idea what you mean. There's no seedy side to Dubai There's a Dark Side allegedly, but certainly not a seedy one:-)