pap

Don't worry, I don't actually think he's ITK.

Another kebab-related one. I'm not very cultured. "Bedford Place Breakfast", the glistening pavement-based delicacy which can be found glowing on the streets of Southampton in the early hours of the morning. Also applicable to food that looks like it might have had a similar origin:- "Call that an omelette, mum? I'm not eating that. It's more like a Bedford Place Breakfast. Are McDonalds still doing their brekkie menu? I'm fúcking loaded for pony".

This is the full version of the 5 minute interview that Barry Glendenning did with Matty a few weeks ago. http://acast.com/guardianfootballmeets/guardian-football-meets-matt-le-tissier "Better" as Andy Townsend liked to say about football. 25 Highlights:- 1} Matt wasn't hysterical like everyone else when Cortese did the offs. On Cortese: "Did very well spending someone else's money". 2} The weirdness of Southampton still being in the CL places. "They have a realistic chance of staying in that top four" 3} Only game where we've been outclassed this season is Man City. 4} Feelgood factor around Southampton, atm. "People almost don't want to believe it" 5} Soccer Saturday is more fun to do than it looks (and it already looks fun) - lot of detail on a typical day there. 6} Paul Merson is a good guy, bad pronunciator. 7} Jeff Stelling has a statistician! 8} More detail on the Blackburn and Newcastle goals. 9} Chats about the limited England opportunities 10} Lansdowne Road demolition. 11} Hat trick in England B game / finding out about squad announcement via teletext. 12} Career never recovered from disappointment of losing out on that England chance. Blow to ambition. Affected club form. Went downhill from there. 13} The lazy/lack of ambition tag is levelled at him by people who don't know him. 14} Didn't enjoy pre-season training 15} No regrets. Comfortable with his level of fame. Not sure he would be if he'd gone to a big club. 16} Very close to joining Spurs at age 21. Last minute change of mind. 17} Glad he doesn't have to deal with the media exposure of today. 18} Never, ever, once had a McDonalds on the day of the game 19} Malibu and coke is a commitment 20} Favourite manager was Ball. Played his best football under him. 21} Branfoot was polar opposite. Poor appointment. 22} On fans; "a minority that will take it extremely seriously and extremely personally". 23} On grounds; "crowd almost too far away from playing area to be able to generate a fantastic playing atmosphere" 24} Away teams hated the Dell 25} Almost shook the goalies hand at the last game of the Dell, as goalie stopped Marsden from getting the final goal at the ground

That's the intent. My southern brethren would not thank me if I excluded The Wall. It's an important feature for keeping the wildlings out, and you're right, Winchester is a key location.

Button it, mate. We know where you keep your lard.

Also bear in mind that nationally used words can have a different local meaning. e.g. Northerner

"Loaded for pony" - this is a little archaic in the sense that people forget where it comes from, but the meaning is "drunk, hungry and prepared to do something about it". The phrase pre-dates late-night kebab emporiums. Drunken Sotonians would head for the New Forest wielding two slices of bread looking for a late night pony sandwich. Getting trampled to death by a pony was the number one cause of death amongst drunken hungry people in the 1920s. You were not allowed to eat ponies during the war years (rationing), and the introduction of the donner kebab in the 1950s killed the practice, but the saying still remains in common use.

A local saying that everyone says is "if it's pies you want, it's pies you'll get". Some scientists are investigating a possible link to that oft-posed question, "who ate all the pies?". Plested have apparently denied any responsibility in the case of the missing pies, claiming that pies don't hurt people; people do. They also remarked that if it's pies you want, you'll get them at Plesteds. "If it's pies you want, it's pies you'll get". Everyone says it. Bonafide Southamptonshire saying.

Sorry Jonnyboy.

Reading manifestos or listening to what they have to say is a waste of time. Where did they say that they were going to borrow all that money in the last manifesto, or announce their plans to carve up the NHS. David Cameron used to be a cycling eco-warrior. Their logo was a tree! Couldn't really go on past performance in the 2010 election, as the Tories had been out of power for thirteen years. We know what they are now; a party that sounded halfway credible when it was endlessly parroting the Broken Britain mantra, but demonstrably broke the country more when they gained power, pretty much on every level. We are borrowing more, spending less on services, waiting longer to see medical professionals and going to food banks because incomes aren't enough or benefits have been sanctioned. On a foreign policy level, the one big decision of Cameron's government, to intervene in Libya, has turned a distasteful but stable dictatorship into a lawless patchwork of territories run by local warlords and one of the most dangerous places on the planet. They tried their best to get us fighting alongside what turned out to be ISIS (bless them) a year or so ago. These former potential allies are now bitter foes. Forget the manifestos and focus on the policy since 2010. What have the Conservatives actually done well, apart from redirect public anger to the Lib Dems?

Well, in one sense he is. He has demonstrated how to get a decent Premier League job with very little experience.

The first year of my computing course was mostly getting people up to speed to tackle the second year. If you knew anything about computing, all but the maths was a waste of time. Learned more on my National Diploma. It would have been my preference to have done a hard course for three years, but they could easily have made that a 2 year course for people with the right background.

I'd prefer we beat Liverpool.

The amount of tuition fee money owed by students from underprivileged backgrounds has also never been higher.

Everybody (except UJ) say aaaahhh. http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-31469515

Depends on whether you want to treat it like a serious discipline or not. I'm not sure what the average curriculum covers, but then to be fair, neither are you. I went to Glastonbury this year, and all things considered, with 125,000 people and inclement weather, thought it was very well organised. The festival organisers on staff kept on top of things, the previous night's shít (literal and figurative) cleaned up and disposed of each morning, bands and equipment moved between stages. All that against the backdrop of a population equivalent to the Borough of Eastleigh that wasn't there before suddenly arriving by car, coach, caravan on your doorstep in a 3 day period. I know that's not nearly as bewildering as it might seem from a high level. There's clearly a load to it, but broken down and compartmentalised, such complexity can be managed. Worth spending three years on, I reckon - even if you don't organise something on that scale.

Paying the living wage? Where does it all end?

Yeah, it's not as if we put on any events, such as music festivals, concerts or football matches.

Change the thread title so we spell the kit maker's name right please, mods.

Trank you.

I take the view that you're all there to help me do my job. Someone's gotta take ownership; it's usually the coder Don't vote Tory in the next election, Unbelievable Jeff. They're a pack of robbing c**ts and don't spend money well. Well, well. I don't know whether to be feel amused, acclaimed or alarmed. There have been infrequent accusations on here suggesting that I may be misrepresentin' myself. Or on the autistic spectrum. I'm going to go for vindicated

They are doing a lot of road improvement work in that area, especially near the airport exits. Pain in the arse at the moment though. I'm not a fan of that roundabout. Got pushed off the M27 slip road there by a bloke who decided that my humble Polo wasn't a huge impediment to his suddenly planned lane change.

I'd say you offended the lower end of the stand, and also taught some prawn sandwich children words they may not have previously heard.