pap

I enjoyed these replies, gentlemen - but mostly because they got me thinking about the possible alternatives in mind. You've the old classic, the "tis but a flesh wound" approach, which is something of a gamble because your lip is bust open and you might end up with a bigger scar than you'd need. Then there's a possible DIY approach. Finally, I suppose we could keep GPs open at all hours, instead of centralising emergency resources in hospitals that have better A&E facilities. Y'know, just to cover those split lips or other injuries you may consider frivolous. "Because that's good resource planning."

The Trailer Park Boys life looks pretty sweet, and fairly manageable if you don't have Ricky as a best pal.

I have had to live with this shít for several years. Fifteen year old likes them, and liked them a lot more a few years ago. ms pap liked NKOTB back in the day and acted as an enabler. Sickening.

I knew they had no credibility anyway. They're called One Direction. We live on an island. Logically, the f**kers should have walked into the sea by now. I am therefore unsurprised to see the band going in different directions.

He'll find appropriate work.

I know what you're sayin', y'know what I'm saying?

Yup. Think that is a mature and sensible response which clarifies the Beeb's position, does justice to Clarkson's contribution and allays any concerns about the role of the producer, now or moving forward.

I'm happy enough with my older BMW. Don't have too many problems with it, and would rather deal with Beemer problems (fk, gotta take it down the garage) than Toyota problems (brakes failing and insta-death).

fúcking fantastic.

Cameron getting heckled by pensioners at Age UK. [video=youtube;7zsi-g4JpvY] I like the bit at the end where he tries to do a "deal" with them so they won't boo and jeer Arficus maximus, as the Romans might* have said. *I'm not confident.

There's no paradox. You've repeatedly made claims that the article is false based on Hampshire Police not handing in their figures. How do you know the article is definitely b*llshít? Got Hampshire's data on racist Saints fans to hand?

And then it goes on to say that Hampshire Police didn't reveal their figures, thus revealing the complete picture. Honestly don't know why you feel the article or I are trying to dupe anyone here. You're as much in the dark as the Echo, so I also don't know how you can definitely say that it is false.

None of the above. I'm "passes as white", got a Pakistani grandad and a very keen ear for transgressions. Haven't heard anything.

You don't know that it's false. On the basis of the available evidence, it's true enough. Sorry to hear about your experiences. I stand near two Indians, one half-Iranian and I've never heard anything racist out of Saints fans, not to them and not to the players.

What point are you making that isn't already clear in the article? The BTP released their figures and we've caused no trouble. In the one area where we can be compared with other fans, we compare well. Now, of course, if anyone actually steps up and says "hey pap, I am a racist" then you might have a point

Pat on the back time for our fine city. In the last three years, no-one has been nicked for a racist incident at Saints games. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/news/11875192.No_racist_incidents_involving_Saints_fans_reported_to_police_in_three_seasons/?ref=mr Good work, everybody.

Half of them are probably Liverpool/Man Utd fans

Pah. Certainly didn't seem that way when I got here in 1994. EU Objective One money has been responsible for much of the investment since then. Besides, it's not like the South hasn't had money for infrastructure. I can remember walking under the uncompleted M27 as it was being built. If I had to come up with a serious answer to Southampton's specific problems, and why other places don't have them to the same extent, I'd probably point to the fact that all of the places that do have metro systems are all areas where the economy of the metropolitan area is considered as a whole. Merseyrail operates over all of Merseyside, not just Liverpool. The Metrolink's main reason for existence was connecting towns like Bury, Rochdale and Ashton-under-Lyne to Manchester. Southampton is the main city in the South Hampshire conurbation. If you live in the metro area but not in Southampton, chances are that you're going to need it for work, shopping or whatever. Aside from a creaky train network which serves a "central" station a mile away from anything useful and a small airport, what else is there to take traffic off the roads?

That's brill. I didn't realise that young SaintAndy666 wielded that much political power. I was trundling along with the entirely false assumption that it would be the party able to return the most members from 650 seats that would have the best chances of forming a government. SaintAndy666; can you get those files for please? You know the ones I mean. There's a lad.

Wise words.

It wouldn't be a fitting tribute if we didn't recognise Turks occasional ability to turn into a French exchange student, yes? This is the way to the Tudor Museum, yes? You will give me back my money Turkish, yes? Not the face, Turkish, yes? Turks; if you're still reading, you know I'm only joking, yes?

I've just had a chat with ms pap, who claims that when she has sent me text messages and Facebook messages to the point of exhaustion, and has not seen a reply for eight hours, her next move is usually go to SaintsWeb where it says "pap was online 20 minutes ago". She claims it's just to check "I'm not dead", but realistically, I'm in the proper fkn doghouse boys. I therefore request two new features. 1) Remove the "missus stalker" option. Replace with text such as "pap might've been online. What are you going to do about it, bee-hatch?". 2) Prevent any signup attempt from someone wanting the username "ms pap". This has been threatened as a communications nuclear option.

Super. You accept privatisation is a bad thing then? That might be progress. It's not f**king Bill Murray out of Groundhog Day, that's for sure.

That's why CityMapper exists, at least from the consumer's perspective. If people are too thick to avail themselves of the available information, what can you do? Any of the outlying towns, especially those that aren't presently well-served, or utterly reliant on the M27 Even your West Ham fan would benefit. Even if he or she drives down, every local taking the metro is one less motor on the road.

Turkish got in trouble for using the m-word, then compared the day-to-day operations of this Internet forum with a notorious death camp.