Nellie

Have you actually read your own quote? 510000 is figure for doing nothing, 250000 is under the mitigation strategy. Thankfully, they’ve seen sense and changed to try and suppress the spread, hopefully keeping deaths to 20000.

Which is great for Hampshire. The only bit I have a problem with, is telling the players to go back to the counties and they’ll be selected on early season form, then completely ignoring that to pick an out of form Stoneman, Bess and a specialist number seven who doesn’t really play four day cricket anymore. Makes you wonder why anybody bothers with the county championship.

Even more odd, because Adams and Weatherley are opening the batting today. McManus is listed at three, with Vince at four and Amla five. I’d have thought switching McManus and Amla around would be a good idea, although Dawson is too good to be batting at seven. It’s not that long ago he was opening.

I don’t think anyone’s doubting you on that score, champ.

Wheater was fairly lucky, he got away with a lot of edges and it was no surprise when he dragged one on. He did take a shine to Dawson's first over though and the intent shown by the openers was probably the difference. I didn't think we were urgent enough through the middle overs. After Roussow got injured, Bailey was quite quiet and Ervine seemed content to nurdle it around. What's happened to him? We really missed some impetus from Carberry, especially after Vince got a first baller. Foster showed himself up as a massive bellwhiff. Not only did he seem to get away with a caught behind, he had the mother of all strops, presumably about the innings not being concluded in time. This despite using every delaying tactic in the book.

Relegated. A bit disappointing we let Durham double their score in the first innings, from 186-7. Over the course of the season though, we just haven't been good enough. Difficult to complain, we've had a few injuries, but never seemed to be able to capitalise when in commanding positions in the field. Oh well, hopefully some of the younger players will get a chance again next year.

Cricinfo are reporting we've signed Reece Topley, and he could join on loan before the end of this season. Very good addition as he's got some pretty impressive stats, hopefully it wouldn't impact on Wood's progress though. http://www.espncricinfo.com/county-cricket-2015/content/story/915959.html

Er, because he got the ball, then his momentum took him into the player, not ball and man together or man then ball. The angle from behind the goal showed it pretty clearly. Even Alan Smith noticed it, so it must have been obvious.

Suggest you watch it again. Fonte got the ball, clearly.

The9 is going to just love this post.

It was like watching someone playing stick cricket in real life. He didn't even go out to bat until the 39th over.

Six for Tommo now.

Stroud is a useless ****. How is he falling for it every time?

It's a confusing one, isn't it? I genuinely thought Gatting was only signed to provide cover should Carbs/Vince get called up for England during the summer. With Ervine and Wheater both playing, I really don't see any reason to play him instead of a fourth bowler. Wood and Coles would be a pretty strong bowling 8 and 9.

It might be nice if you bothered to get the name of your opponents correct.

We've appointed Dale Benkenstein as Head Coach to replace Giles White, who's moved into the Director of Cricket position. http://www.dailyecho.co.uk/sport/11006336.Hants_appoint_new_coach/

A large crisis. In fact, if you got a moment, it's a twelve-storey crisis with a magnificent entrance hall, carpeting throughout, 24-hour portage, and an enormous sign on the roof, saying 'This Is a Large Crisis'. Definitely time for the phew to get two pencils and a pair of underpants...

They only put the word after when people might think it was a typo. Obviously Sky didn't think anyone would assume it was a mistake...

Absolutely. Platinum is also worth a mention.

If you are both referring to the large open wound between the ribs on his left hand side, then it is more than likely the result of a thoracotomy. It's where the chest is opened to enable open heart massage as a last resort in resuscitation.

Cough, David Prutton, cough.

Worryingly, pretty much the same happened to me when I was on a jury a few years ago. A daughter accused her father of rape and, despite there being no evidence of wrongdoing, two female members of the jury insisted he was guilty. Their only reasoning was "Why would she lie about something like that?" They refused to budge and in the end the judge invited a majority decision, which was enough to knock it on the head. If I ever found myself on trial, I would feel far more comfortable with the South African system of professionals deciding. Also, I wouldn't ever again have to be shut in a room with two obdurate dinlos again.

Please tell me you don't have your underpants on your head, with two pencils up your nostrils.

I wouldn't worry about it mate. Your post wasn't even close to being the most stupid one on the thread.