franniesTache

Merrington had a fairly easy ride if i remember rightly, a few vocal people who got on his back but nothing like what Branfoot had. Jones did get a fair amount of abuse, including some pretty bad stuff when rumours about his private life started to come out. But again it wasn't really much more than a few boos and angry calls to Solent. Souness - weirdly - seemed to be liked by a large chunk of our fanbase, something i never understood as i always thought he was absolutely woeful as a manager. In fact there was a sizeable amount of fans who didn't want him gone.

Nathan Jones got more points in the same number of games than Martin has so would in fact be an improvement

I genuinely think this is the least i've enjoyed watching Saints play since Branfoot (and at least under Branfoot we had Le Tiss). The "style" of play is dire, a million passes in areas that make no difference to the game, followed by a mistake that costs us the game and no mental strength in the team which means most times one goal turns into three as their heads drop. Then post game we have to listen to a bloke that is completely delusional tell us how it's positive and brave, and that all of us that watch it are wrong. Couple that with the god awful linked in speak that the more visible parts of the ownership stuff in our face and it's absolutely everything wrong with modern football. How anyone can enjoy watching the footballing equivalent of beige every week i can't understand. How the owners can't see what everyone else does, that repeating the same failed tactic every single week has the same result baffles me. How Martin can be so fucking arrogant to think it's working and great angers me.

Totally unacceptable reporting that, I think the club would be well within their rights to re-program these people to be more positive about the ground breaking football that is RUSSBALL, perhaps these journalists need some time in the gulag

What are you talking about no one wants Martin out, we are all learning to love the million passes that go nowhere, and we NOW understand that football is not about winning, but about statistics. Anyway i need to go back to my re-education because apparently i didn't quite express my love for Martin hard enough

I'm so glad the club have encouraged some of their people to post on here and telling us we're doing wrongthink, if it wasn't for them we'd all be hoisted to the gulags and the re-education would be incredibly expensive for the club. Instead we have people on here telling us why our eyes and opinions are wrong, and why we should learn to love Russball as the only form of the game. Thank you stooges, we have no learned that RUSS' WAY is the only way, that we are wrong, and must come onside. As we now know we have of course always been at war with direct football and shooting, and passing in infinite slow loops has always been our friend. Until such time of course when The Leaders tell us that we have never passed in slow infinite loops and infact we have always crossed the ball at the first opportunity. We all of COURSE enjoy this style of football, it is in no way slow, ponderous, predictable and boring. It is in fact edge of the seat stuff, the most exciting form of the game ever played, and the fact that we regularly clock less shots on goals than fingers on one hand is down to the fact that the stats people, and our own brains/eyes, are too exciting to register the hundreds of blistering attacks and shots that we have every game. By the way Stooges is there a compound you can recommend we live in? And a proper way to address Martin? Maybe even a name to call ourselves so we can identify as group in our love for that which our betters know is good for us?

Hands down the weirdest game i've been to, we won 6-0 but were definitely the worse side on the day. In fact it just seemed like every single shot we hit went in. Can't say i've been to another game ever where we won by so many but probably deserved to lose 🤣 The locals we're NOT happy that day after the game either

Wolves are looking like a team that can't buy a win at the moment, in fact the only way they could get one is to come up against a club that is set up in a way that means they are treating football like a New York performance art piece directed by Terry Riley. One where the aim of the game is to demonstrate the futility of enjoyment by repeating the same passage of play on infinite loops, testing the crowds ability to stay awake and engaged, and reducing the spectacle to parody. Fortunately for them then they're in luck as Martin and Sport Republic seem to have taken on just that brief. Wolves away, what's to say? A club that invented European football but also has the honour of being the longest serving club in the english second division ever. Obviously Saints will never break the first record, but under the steady guidance of Martin the second is there for us to beat, and this game is a step in the right direction to achieving that. Molyneux itself is a proper football ground, with real ends and an inspiration for the NORTHAM WALL (tm). On the downside the away end is also the worst in the league, long and spread out down the side. The plus side however is the away end is far enough away from either goal that the Saints away support will be perfectly placed to watch all of our play with the ball as we spread it sideways and backwards across the midfield for what feels like an eternity. So predictable and dull is the way Saints play under Martin Sisyphus himself would choose the boulder over watching us (and most of us would prefer to watch that too). Usually with RussBall the sensible money would be on 74% possession and a 3-0 loss, but i'd imagine Martin's reaction to Saints actually winning a game will be to double down on us wastefully giving the ball away to Everton by putting it in the net and drop all recognisable strikers and keep it tight. So a 1-0 loss it is then. Which is probably a good thing due to the fact that Wolverhampton is such a shithole you can't even invoke the 3-0 rule properly as there's no pubs that'll let you in. WE PASS IT SIDEWAYS ON!

In a bid to unify and excite the fanbase Lucy Pinder will lead the team out, dressed as a nun (in stockings), but to ensure we are inclusive Craig David will also jointly lead the team out, dressed as a nun (in stockings). In the time between the Stoke game and now Martin will finally have coached the team to resemble the famous Dutch side of the 1970's, this will be no more obvious than the fact that Dibling will now chain smokes 40 a day and Smallbone will have developed a heart problem to mirror Neeskens perfectly. Dyche will be stood on the sidelines of this, the pyros of the Northam Ultras reflecting off his bald dome, shocked and intimidated by the awe inspiring modern football spectacle. He will respond by "getting it in the mixer", encouraging Everton to kick everyone that moves, and most importantly by winning the game, 3-0. The loss will not deter Martin, who will point to the fact that Dibling's new found smoking habit has had the positive effect of stopping him running so much, which means he has to pass the ball more, and the various states of injuries on the players mean they won't do stupid things like trying to actually shoot. Sadly the pyros in the Northam Wall will have resulted in a large number of deaths related to asthma and burns, and whilst this is bad it will be darkly overshadowed by the number of fans who slip into a catatonic coma due to the general boredom at having to still watch RUSSBALL(tm). We will finish the game adrift from safety, a fact Sports Republic will brilliantly deflect from by marking the closest day to fireworks night in the form of burning a 20ft effigy of Adrian Heath in the Northam Fanzone (sadly like everything else they've done this will go badly wrong as Sammy Saint will be trapped inside and burned to death). We March Down

Look surely the proof is there for all of us to see. Forget the fact we have only got 1 pt from a possible 27. Forget that we're bottom of the league. Forget that we've conceded 19 goals and only scored 6. Forget that our only two wins this season have come against lower league opposition and both been due to James Bree goals. None of that is the point. The point is we've retained possession, and BEEN BRAVE! And obviously Ferguson could never have done that.

Preach Lucy! Our idiot dissident element cannot ever comprehend the abilities of our great leader and the vanguard. They are guilty of doublethink for questioning the endless passing and lack of shooting, and should be sent to the fanzone gulag archipelago's to be re-educated on the Newspeak of xP (passing) and retention. Only then will they realise that the ONLY way is the Martin WAY (tm) and settle back with a nice drink of Kool Aid and a soothing chant of OOOOOOOM to honour our great god, overlord and innovative footballing leader. ALL HEIL MARTIN, MARTIN IS OUR KING. ONWARDS! FOR MARTIN, PASSING AND STATSTICS!

If we win on Saturday we'll still be behind Derby's worst ever points total season (11) and Sunderland's second worst ever points total season (15) since both of them had 5 points by the 9th game of the season. Also relegation is going to be a financial disaster for saints, i don't think people realised how close to the sun we were flying last season, and how important it was to come back up first time round. As for Martin staying if we do go down with him in charge, and make no mistake if we do it'll be on the worst points total ever, I think season ticket sales will drop off a cliff. People are really underestimating just how much most saints fans are putting up with Martin based on him banking favours from last season. The majority i know (young, old and middle aged) find his style of football boring as fuck and his stubbornness and arrogance annoying. The small cult on here and social media who seemingly idolise him are absolutely in the minority, and keeping him on if we go down will see a hell of a reaction, both against him and the owners.

Alan Ball had the perfect style of play for what we had at the time... Get. The. Ball. To. Le Tiss. And it worked a fucking treat too.

The new five pledges 1. We pass, therefore we are 2. If stats did not exist there would be a need to invent them 3. All that is necessary for the triumph of passing is that good players don't shoot 4. Attacking is counterrevolutionary 5. Let us ban all applause, the Northam is everywhere!

Interesting injury for Smallbone 😳

It's manchester, a city that basically has some of the best pubs in the country. Around picadilly, print works, the northern quarter, and oxford road you've got a ton of brilliant pubs. Our fans will ignore these though and end up in a 'Spoons where they can sing songs at minimum wage staff who are wishing they hadn't swapped their shift with their mate

Saints will turn up and look like a completely different team, the pointless passing will be replaced by sharp incisive forward movement, we'll start with two strikers and put pressure on city from the front, whipping in crosses to tall paul to create chaos and defend with our backs to the wall, clearing the lines long up the pitch and using the pace of archer to give us an outlet. We will sneak it 1-0 in the end with an amazing performance that harks back to the best relegation battles of the past. Actually who the fuck am i kidding with that? What will actually happen is that for the first 5-10mins will have looked pretty good but created no real chances. Somewhere around the 11th or 12th minute we will give the ball to Halaand who will score. Around the 15th minute we'll give away a stupid free kick as one of our players tries to make up for a wayward pass in the direction of our goal and Halaand will score his second from the free kick. The players heads will drop. Shortly after, around the 18th or 20th minute mark City will score their third. Our more sensible supporters will leave for the pub at about the 25minute mark. They will reach the pub about the same time the half time whistle goes. Saints will be 3-0 down. Saints will then come out after the second half and continue to make 3million passes across the midfield and defence that go absolutely nowhere, and our striker will be permanently bound to the wings and create nothing. This won't look terrible for the first 10mins of the second half and some hope will creep in. City will score their 4th about midway through the second half after Martin makes four bizarre changes that completely changes the shape of the team. We will continue to plod on, creating little to no chances until they get their 5th and 6th in stoppage time. For some utterly bizarre reason, like prisoners overcome with Stockholm syndrome, those remaining fans will clap the players off in an almost masochistic display of celebrating failure. Martin will come out after the game, say that he's hurt but we played some good stuff, he will go on to blame the players, himself, the tea lady, the fella from the echo who looks like his about to carry out a bombing raid on germany, Sammy Saint and Buddha himself. Everyone will expect him to be sacked as he's clearly not good enough, but Sport Republic will instead announce a contract extension and ban any fans who dare question Martin's regime. They will also announce the sale of Kool Aid in the Northam End with a flagship advertising campaign fronted by Charles Manson

You've got to admire Sport Republic for the arrogance of a ten year plan, even Uncle Joe only had five year plans. Perhaps the end goal is the collectivisation of St Mary's? I mean we've already got the re-education rooms where Martin teaches people why they're wrong about football, plus the club added extra gulags to kick people out too if they failed re-education. Plus we have banners celebrating The Red Army, and are told "We March On", and the pattern is becoming clear to see. All we need are THE FIVE PLEDGES to finally be published and we will transcend our status as a provincial football club and become philosophy that takes over half of europe and kills off all descent along the way.

The two that stand out for me are Kevin Friend who basically cheated in the game against liverpool and (to give him his full name) Roger Fucking Milford. Also for deciding a game went on wasn't there a ref for a cup game against Reading at a frozen pitch at Elm Park who decided the pitch was safe to play on as long as the players didn't play at 100%, can't remember his name but do remember the shitshow of a game (and the home fans lobbing bits of concrete that had broken off their terrace at us from the other side of the fence)

Who could've predicted we don't have 7k supporters who want to create a fierce wall of noise like a german team who we have nothing in common with. Who apart from everyone? This is the problem in a nutshell though, as i've mentioned many, many times, the club got it wrong because they didn't understand the culture/s. Not everyone who stands and sings wants to stand and sing next to the same people. The club however thought that if they lumped disparate groups together then it would somehow be loud. Instead you get groups who have no interest in joining in with stuff the other group likes - the million songs about the skates, and the coke fuelled seal clapping being prime examples - so those people who would've sung just don't (and i'm one of those people, i'd rather stand in silence than sing about pompey). The club should've instead given a couple of areas of safe standing, keep "the wall" nonsense for those that wanted it, but offered another option somewhere else too (for example the back five rows of the chapel. I do know one thing for sure though, i'm not staying in the northam wall next season, it's just a case of where i move to, because it's really, really shit. Not just quieter than where i was before, but more noddy too

I find it kind of amazing people can miss a joke so badly but i guess football is a serious business 🤣

Tbf we made a meal of it last season too, in fact if there's one consistent with Martin's teams through his whole career, it's that winning isn't the primary objective. Possession is.

The club already regularly monitors social media, why do you think the "influencers" got free puma shirts? Also they've banned people in the past for things said on social media.

Yup this is a massive problem, you only need to look at social media to see it's the same people every time who stick up message saying that they suddenly "can't make a game" Personally i think a lot of this could be fixed if the club made a few simple changes, first change is to the criteria. It should be: Season ticket holders with X aways Members ticket holders with X aways Season ticket holders with X -1 aways Members ticket holders with X -1 aways Down to season ticket holders, then members, then general. Second thing to do is monitor socials and ban regular re-sellers, they're pretty easy to identify and just banning a handful will bleed out and discourage. I don't think you can ban re-sellers completely because there is always a valid case, but you've got to make a stand against people doing it regularly. Course it's easy for me to say that because "i'm alright jack" and actually qualify for most, if not all games, pretty easily. But it does feel the system is broken