franniesTache

We are Southampton, a club built on blind faith from the beginning of Martin's tenure. A faith in himself. A faith other's are wrong. He has his beliefs, His own way of doing things that he refuses to change. We don’t just buy failure, we breed it. We don’t take shortcuts, we fail slowly and obviously. Every second of every minute of every day. We’ve move closer to the edge of the abyss and won't come back stronger, because whatever the pressure, however great the temptation, we never shoot, we never win games, we keep passing sideways. We are the saints, it’s not just a name, it’s who we are. We are not even making up the numbers, we march down!

Seriously what's the fucking point? We all know what's going to happen, we'll piss about with it at the back, Villa will score, our heads will drop, they'll score a couple more, in the post match interviews their manager will patronise Martin and Martin will say we're brave, we're learning, he saw a lot he liked and completely fucking ignore the fact he's the worst top flight manager in our history, worse than even Steve fucking Wigley. Team for the game - I couldn't give a fuck whilst the useless lego headed cunt is still in charge. We could have prime Maradona, Cruyff and Beckenbauer in the side and he'd still train them to pass it sideways and backwards.

I genuinely think Martin is a just a massive fucking wind up merchant and is seeing just how far he can push the fanbase before they figure him out. Literally no sane person could say they're enjoying getting beaten every week, then send the team out to do the same thing that's not worked any other time before and claim they're improving.

I mean that's fucking obvious, we've only had 3 of them so far so clearly we're not

He now has officially the worst top flight record of any saints manager at this stage of the season, "beating" Steve WIgley who had 9 points after 14 games. What gets me is how much Martin reminds me of Branfoot. Not for style of play obviously, but the fact that he's got "his system", he refuses to change "his system" even when it's clear it doesn't work, he also has "his favourites" who no matter how badly they do won't be removed, and he has a level of extreme arrogance that simply doesn't map to the results. The only difference is that so far he's not gone after the fans, but given it a few weeks and i don't think it's out of the question that happens.

Honestly i have no need to prove if what i said was true or not, fairly sure those that know me know it is, and know that Cortese was out of control. Funny thing is Kat herself basically said that he'd been the cause of our financial problems when he left, but everyone chose to ignore that and have a go at her instead. But yeah a flawless job was done, absolutely flawless...

Technically alan whitehead the MP and the local council were more responsible for St Mary's than Lowe, Lowe wanted Stoneham and was going all out for that, when it fell through he had no back up plan but Alan Whitehead and the Council approached the club with land on a brownfield site that wasn't being used. It was actually more considerable luck that saw us get St Mary's rather than any clever planning or good business sense.

I mean you can think it's harsh but it's also the truth. People like @turkish know the facts behind the propaganda and know exactly what he was up to. The mad midget was completely responsible for the fire sale of players post Poch' and to be honest if we hadn't we'd have been in serious, serious financial trouble. And that's before you get into his "home redecoration budget" Yup he absolutely was, there's a section of our fanbase who hates to admit it but despite his public propaganda he wasn't a good thing for the club.

Properly jealous of Spurs. That’s a cracking fa cup draw and exactly the kind of game you want. We’ve got a shit game at home to a team we’ve played loads (and will be playing again next season), who are on a good run at the moment and will probably beat us. Maybe we can make it more interesting by saying the loser gets to keep Russell martin.

As usual my preference would be the skates (home or away), and failing getting them a team i've never been to before away. Harrogate would be a laugh, @Turkish could organise the DEF to take the tea rooms in a display of strength the likes of which the Harrogate Tea Lady Ultras have never experienced before.

It's just that we're enlightened don't you see, no propaganda here, we have seen the light of the future of football and understand that Russell Martin's philosophy of football is so great, so all empowering, so CORRECT, that the entire game will change to his rules. Goals will no longer count, only passes and pass completion, points will be allocated for bravery and relegation will be the new promotion. In the coming years The Five Pledges will not just be published for us, they will be written into global law as the new rules of the game. We will lead the charge from the Wessex league, becoming European Powerhouses (tm @gio1saints) alongside such giants as Totton, Sholing and Colden Common. WE CHANGE THE GAME ON!

I'm guessing the main reason SR are slow to act on footballing matters is because they're still trying to get THE FIVE PLEDGES together, and there's no way any football club can operate (let alone win games) without THE FIVE PLEDGES.

I go to pretty much every away game because Saints are basically an abusive relationship for me at this point. Watching Russball brings me little pleasure, causes me a lot of pain, but I can’t give it up because I always think it might come good. Oh well never let the football get in the way of a day out at the football right?

Probably one of the best cities in the country for pubs even if the ground is pretty far out of the city. So the good news is that when they get three we can all head back to town for a good friday night piss up in Brighton before boarding the vomit comet home. As for the game, I mean do we have to? I'm really not sure how much more of watching Martin's ponderous football i can take, it's like a special kind of torture sitting through the inevitable sideways and backwards passing, and stupid costly mistakes due to the stubborn prick thinking he's better than he is. It honestly feels like we just need putting out of our misery now and have our results wiped for the rest of the season if he's staying, i'd save a fortune and we wouldn't have to put up with the constant embarrassment every week. We Limp Down.

Jones and Selles both have better records than Martin in the top flight. Wigely definitely the least successful on paper but Martin will beat him in the next three games.

You don't become a European Powerhouse (TM @gio1saints) by getting points, playing good football and winning games FFS, you get there by being relegated but getting maximum possession. Jesus why are people on here so backwards?

Apart from the fact we've had our worst ever top flight start, we've had a worse start than the team who had the worst ever top flight season, we have only scored seven goals all season, he refuses to change tactics despite them not working, his football is boring and sucks the soul out of the game, and he comes across as an arrogant bell end? Yeah you're right it's really weird.

Interesting question i saw raised somewhere, is this Saints side actually the worst top flight Saints side ever, or do we have the worst top flight Saints manager ever? I mean we all know statistically we're currently on course for becoming (and by some distance) the worst performing side, also the football is some of the worst to watch of any manager in my lifetime, but is that manager or players? I'm honestly unsure the players are as bad as the results suggest, if you take our relegated sides in the modern era then i'd say a lot of our current first time would be thereabouts the first team of the sides that went down, maybe Niemi over Ramsey, and Crouch over any of our current strikers. But really are this squad that bad? Which makes me think it's got to be the manager who's at fault

Sadly for Martin he hasn't quite managed to clone Jack Stephen's so his dream of subbing on five jack stephen's hasn't happened yet, but i'm sure Ramus is working on the tech right now

The good news about the game on sunday is it might finally be the game that stops people talking about the 9-0's. Mainly because 10-0 is worse, but that's by the by. I think we can all now predict what will happen. The game will kick off, we will immediately revert to Beaver like behaviour, but instead of building damns for no reason we will instead pass the ball around aimlessly and with no intent. Liverpool will capitalise on this utterly pointless tactic and score their first in the first ten minutes. We will arrive at the ground having badly misjudged the kick off due to it being 2pm. The Northam Wall will be in the full flux of recreating John Cage's 4'33", with the odd rendition of something about pompey to really drive the point that we're not obsessed home. About the 15th minute Liverpool will get their second, the entire ground will at this point completely resign themselves to what happens next, and the silence and groans will change into a collective depression for all bar the tourists in the home end. As half time approaches the third will go in, the players will trudge off and we will start the walk back to the pub, safe in the knowledge that there will be absolutely no improvement in the second half. Saints will come out unchanged, both in line up and in tactics, passing the ball pointlessly in areas that make absolutely no difference. Those watching on TV will have turned off or searched for something more exciting, like songs of praise or the BBC test card. We will then go on to concede, four? five? six? maybe even ten. The game will end, the weirdos left in the Northam will clap what is fast becoming the worst Saints team in living memory. Martin will be pleased that we secured zero shots on target so are clearly learning with each game that attacking play is to be stamped out at all cost. Mary Saint will finally crack, having seen her partner Sammy burnt in a wickerman shaped as Adrian Heath after the Everton game, and put through the torture of watching Russball every week, a tactic that will see the CIA in the crowd to learn new interrogation techniques for Guantanamo. She will run into the stands and rip the head off Ankersen, to reveal that he has in fact been Rupert Lowe all along, and that Russel Martin is the bastard love child of Jim Magilton and Jan Poortvliet. We pass slowly sideways and backwards to relegation.

You are all so short sighted, if we remove Ramus then we lose the visionary approach to the club where football is the least important part of football. Everyone knows the true worth of Southampton Football Club is to use it as a mechanism for Ramus to flog his AI football database software to other clubs whether it works or not. In the meantime he can prove his genius that will see us become a European Powerhouse (copyright @gio1saints) from league one, by allowing Martin to achieve his dream of wiping out unnecessary things like shooting completely from the game.

I imagine he hated le tiss because he didn't play simple sideways and backwards passes every time and instead created something out of nothing and treated football like something spontaneous and artistic instead of stats and a spreadsheet. And no one wants to see spontaneous and creative football, that would just be anarchy!

This post is parody right? Or did you decide to drink bleach and take magic mushrooms before you wrote it

Look you lot stop being so negative, Sport Republic clearly know that the FA, Premier League, FIFA, UEFA and new world order are all going to look at our predicament and realise that it is in fact the rest of football that is wrong and change the rules of the games so points are given based on passes completed and not giving the ball away. Goals will be a secondary factor and too many will mark your points down as you're giving the ball away too much. We will rise meteorically through the leagues and Europe before we are given the only ever golden ticket to take part in the World Cup which we will win. Martin will be hailed as the messiah, football itself will be renamed Russball and Augstin Delgado will come back to Southampton to party in the streets with the fans like he promised when he left. It might sound far fetched, but is it really more far fetched than us staying up with Russball and things as they are now? DREAM BIG PEOPLE, DREAM BIG