Stripey McStripe Shirt

Thought that waiter in the foreground looked dodgy.

Even when the pressure is off and you start to think England aren't utterly shit, you soon realise that, actually, England are still utterly shit (bar Root this test).

Not me. I didn't watch or listen because I forgot we were playing today 😎

Because pretty much anyone who has ever followed English football will know who you mean, unless it's specified otherwise?

I assume it's unrelated to the fact that a Venezuelan won the Nobel Peace Prize...

I've got a friend who's travelled out for days 3 and 4. He's also planning to watch the Aussie Open tennis with hopes of watching Jack Draper...who has pulled out injured today...

I know Root got a century earlier in the series, and seems more professional than most of the others, but for me he has been one of the biggest disappointments of the Ashes so far.

Bloody hell, it's be funny if it wasn't so pathetic.

Spending Christmas Eve in hospital with my youngest child, only to get discharged and go home, just in time for my eldest to vomit on me.

My heart bleeds...

Yep, woke up at about 3pm for a wee and had a quick check of the score, pleasantly surprised that they were still going. Obviously woke up a few hours later and not even remotely surprised we lost, fairy comfortably.

Yep. Especially the work "deck" which sounds too much like dick.

I can vouch for this. Well the sausage bit, not the rest of the nonsense.

Watched a bit of it. Looked more like a dance off than a boxing match for the majority of it. AJ clearly wasn't trying the first 4 rounds, and gradually got frustrated with the bell end.

His penis must be so tiny.