Stripey McStripe Shirt

Left BT TV/internet last week having been a customer for about 15 years. Phoned them to see if I could get a better deal but they weren't interested in the slightest so switched to Sky. Almost from the minute the switch was confirmed I have been getting calls from their retentions team about 4-5 times a day. They never leave a message but the one time I picked up to tell them to sod off, the line cut immediately. If they couldn't be arsed to keep me as a customer and then made me go through the hassle of switching, I'm not sure what makes them think I'm going to waste hours of my life switching back again.

Being a shit DJ?

Yep, will confess, I don't bother with food recycling for this very reason.

Station Premier Inn is much for convenient than the racecourse. Couple of decent pubs within a 1 minute walk (e.g Old Harkers Arms on the canal or Corner House the opposite direction). If you've not been before it's worth the 5 minute walk into the city centre to see the rows and the walls (including the second most photographed clock in the country, apparently). Plenty of other good pubs and restaurants about too.

Admittedly Fourpast is an odd choice of keeper, but I don't actually think most of the rest of the lineup is too bad. Clearly a bit of a tongue in cheek selection, probably second choice when they couldn't find Ali Dia's contact details. Lambert, Le Tiss, Benali, Fonte etc all class as legends for Saints in my book. Killer, Hooiveld, Pele, Wanyama probably under the umbrella of cult heroes. Not sure I'd really want to watch anyone much older than them...

Who is J Sanda? Am I suffering from dementia?

A good quality tin opener. Had my old one for about 20 years. Struggled opening every can I've ever needed to open. Finally bit the bullet the other day and bought a new one. BOOM! Was in a tin of chickpeas in matter of seconds with a clean removal this evening.

I refuse to believe he is a bigger dummy than someone who reads the Daily Star.

Chocolate bread and butter pudding (Delia recipe, obviously). Swiss roll (cheap and cheerful available at any good Co-op). Honourable mention for the frozen version, Arctic roll, which is harder to come by. Crème brulé. Cos I'm middle class, innit.

I turned it on for a couple minutes, saw Marin Clunes having a wank and then decided it was time for bed.

Pervert.

Sounds like you and Turkish would made a great couple with a litter of kids.

Will Still?

Just as the prophecy foretold...