Ralph Fastenbüttl

Like, why are all our players so shit? Why is the manager setting us up like this? Just... why is it all so relentlessly terrible all the fecking time? Getting a bit sick of this, lads.

Smallbone seemingly has the club in his heart but I just don't understand him as a player. I don't see what he offers. Honestly, I sadly do think we're best off getting rid.

'Magic of the cup' my fucking arse. Least magical thing I've ever witnessed.

All these folks convincing themselves that Juric won't be here next season may be in for a shock this summer, I suggest. Of course, if we get do in fact hire some shit hot DoF, they may come in with aspirations of bringing in one of their guys. But on the presumption that doesn't happen, I think SR are relatively settled on him.

Who's gonna give Will the bad news?

How dare you sully the name of the Mighty Tall Paul, official Club Hero and Champion?!?!

DEAR FUCKING GOD

One of the many, many players who will probably look instantly better the moment they step away from the drudgery of our club. Yet another example of us failing to get the best, or even just the 'not worst', out of someone.

Never a truer word spoken.

Great job, OP.

My problem with Selles at the time was his unwillingness to deviate from Plan A, which was the very same plan that had failed for Ralph. Interestingly, this exact same inflexibility was a problem for him early doors at Reading, and it wasn't until, like, three months in, that he finally abandoned Ralph's 4-2-2-2 and tried something new. And in the process he completely reversed the club's fortunes and has emerged at the other end of it all as a really loved manager over there. It was always clear he was a very decent and principled chap. I'd love it if he continued to grow and became a top manager. I never thought I'd say this, but I'd have to say I'd welcome him back right now to be honest!

Upon reading the Echo report on Martin's post-match comments, I texted a mate the following: "For fear of tempting fate, every one of these comments reads like a bloke who is out of ideas and knows that he's losing his job, no?"

So how does this corruption manifest? Who makes the decision about who is to be wronged? Who is then told to wrong them, and by what means? Does each ref have a list in their pocket with big green ticks next to some teams and huge red crosses next to others? Are they disciplined at clandestine liaisons in abandoned and derelict buildings in the dark of night by men in black suits and dark glasses should they be deemed to have not been sufficiently unfavourable to those clubs being conspired against? And no-one has ever blown the whistle on this because all refs fear that if they speak up they will one day be taking a walk by a canal with their loved ones only for a man carrying a suspicious bouquet of lilies to 'pop a cap in his ass' via a cunningly concealed silenced P99?

Yeah, I'm convinced fitness is a big problem for us. Which is inexcusable from a management perspective.

It's not corruption, it's... just an inescapable whirlwind of pain and suffering and shit.