Ivan Katalinic's 'tache

Who is in turn the cover for the glorious return of Van Dijk.

Goodbye Shane. Hello striking megastars!

We could potentially need 3 strikers if Adam Armstrong is allowed to leave in any capacity. Although I guess Tella can be trained to use his pace and miss when well placed instead.

With Tottenham (as of right now) being able to choose between Kane, Son, Kulusevski, Lucas, Perisic and Richarlison up front against us, it could be an, ahem, eventful first game of the season for us.

Which is easily renamed if we start badly

Kamari Doyle is another talented 16 year old in our academy, who I imagine we'd be loath to lose.

Appears to be an excellent signing. With Lis likely to be loaned out and 3 new signings under 21, should we be renamed Southampton U21s?

Given he was seemingly right about Svanberg, should we get our hopes up on Colwill?

Looks ok, nothing more. Would've preferred a red stripe on the back too. Just need to get Hughesy back as gaffer, now, to round things off. Here he is demonstrating his ball control...

Josh Brownhill from Burnley?

But... that would mean Alex Crook got one... right??? 😱

Could be referring to Mikael Nilsson? He was Swedish, lightweight and certainly not good enough.

I guess part of it may be that the agents clubs speak to may already have players at the buying club. In which case it would be really hard to regulate. I'm sure when clubs are speaking about their own players with those agents, such as when contract extensions are being discussed, it becomes very easy for either party to divert onto discussions about other players.

#NoHopeBoard 🤣

Minamino off to Monaco

Interesting write up on him from a couple of years ago when Palace were supposedly interested in him: Palace submit an offer for young German defender Armel Bella-Kotchap - VAVEL International I like this bit especially: "He is known to have a similar playing style to Bayer Leverkusen centre-half Jonathan Tah. The 18-year-old has a hulk-like physical stature and bags of pace to go with his power. He has great readability of the game being able to intercept passes and start an attack for his team. His strengths are towering defensive headers, balance, stamina and speed."

Cool. What positions do they play?

All gone quiet about one of other supposed targets, Junior Adamu. I thought we were supposed to be pretty interested in him?

Interesting. And are they buying a player or another club?

Ok. Mispronounced surname and odd lyrics. Gotcha. "He is an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, Irish goalie called Bazini And he will make lots of sa-aves today An itsy bitsy, teeny weeny, Irish goalie called Bazini And he fucking ha-ates Pompay." Done!

To my mind, the first bits of your post were unnecessary... 😁

Too many goalkeeping coaches spoil the broth, you mean?

Last Wednesday he was close to signing but now it's gone a little quieter. How close does he need to be to actually sign??

That's interesting. I've often felt we need an old school "head it, kick it, block it" centre-back. Someone who could come from the lower leagues but still adapt well to the Premier League like Lewis Dunk did as Brighton moved through the leagues, for example.