John Boy Saint

My Missus works in the local supermarket she has worked there for 15 years since the kids have been little, she invariably works Christmas Eve and every year she comes home a lunchtime with tales of the siege mentality buying of everything in sight from the customers as the shop will be closed for 2 days. If she has worked the 1st day back she will come home with tales of people that she saw on Christmas Eve with 2 trolleys pushing another trolley brim full of food 2 days later; New years Eve those same people are in with 2 more trolleys full of food for the shop being closed for 1 day. How much of that goes in the bin.

The only place of Anchovies is in Worcester Sauce!

Dark Glasses on too during a night game!

I thinks its a shame its not the novelty of a team that we might never play again, at our place give them a grand day out in a big stadium with a nice big crowd, and probably them giving us a good run for our money for the first hour. Nope its the same old shoite............... Who will give us a good run for our money because they are so use to playing us.

We are the promised land....................... Rejoice at the opportunity to see Saints play live for nowt

Come on we won, the lad came in after not too many starts to be honest on the site I watching it was a generous penalty from the ref. Just rejoice that we are a a match closer to the lucrative 3rd round :-)

I know its early days but we look the dogs doo-daas

Real cup tie - end to end Cheers St Patrik

Very good, I thought it was computer wizardry at first feigning that I has been duped but when I looked away just briefly looking at the countdown bar is is Black & White straight away. Amazing the tricks your eyes play on you.

Maybe if you borrowed her specs you wouldn't miss!

Perhaps thats why she is....

Well Ursula Andress could not sing so Diana Coupland who played Sid James wife in Bless this House (for those old enough to remember) sang the famous Under the Mango Tree song for Miss Andress to mime to. So surely that feat could be reversed.

Ah! Is this where the term dogging comes from?: I thought it meant something else!

This bird from another thread must be in with a shout...................... even if its the revival of Rosa Kleb

I can't find said place in my Readers Digest Encyclopaedia of everything

The Japanese water torture effect of this as a kid from both my parents and grandparents, broke me into submission to the point where on a Sunday morning I am quite happy cooking then eating breakfast listening to the omnibus hearing about Eddie Grundy's next mad cap idea. But then when you grew up with only 3 TV channels, listening to the radio was the only other entertainment option, radio like the Archers and other radio stories certainly made you use your imagination to picture the scenes, unlike in todays world where you are spoon fed images from over 200 TV channels (most of it crap) that leaves little to the imagination; my kids persist with Disney channel and the zero reality pap that it dishes out, it inspires nothing whatsoever.

Forced Air Reverberating Tannoy

I would have liked to have seen us 3 nil down at home to Man U by half time, then on such a sunny day changing our shirts at half time because due to the closeness of the crowd and the number of replica shirts in it all our players complained that they could not see each other. For starters I don't think we would have got away with it, if we had and gone on to win 4-3 the changing of shirts at half time would have outlawed for ever.............

Whilst whiling away the hours on SWF while recuperating from the lurgy for the past couple of days I have come to the conclusion that MB must have inherited Paul Raymonds computer hard drive; he must have the South of Englands largest catalogue of celebs and girlies in their skimpys (or little else) ready to facilitate Rule 1 within seconds. I bet we could have a late night thread alone where we type in a celebs name and he could furnish us with a saucy image within seconds.............. Impressive. :prayer:

A few years ago when my 2 tiddlers were 19 & 8 months old we were flying back from South Africa over night. We boarded the plane quite late in the evening and the Girls were dressed in their sleep suits. We had a Skycot booked for the youngest but following a check in **** up for the first half hour of the flight we were shunted around the plane by the stewardesses. Eventually we got the seats they preferred us to have, but when we were led to the seats the look on 95% of the peoples faces in that section of the plane was never to be forgotten; everyone was 50+, mostly couples,they took one look at our youngest with faces of "oh god no! not a baby in our section for an overnight flight". We put one in the "shoebox" on the wall, the other on 2 seats between us, and didn't hear a peep out of either of our girls until giggling from the shoebox woke us up............. All those people who had a look of horror on their faces the night before within sight of our youngest was playing Peek-a-boo with her; and nearly all of them wanted to goodbye to the girls when we went to get off the plane. We should have been given free long haul flights for life for having such well behaved children........................................... although they would have probably been rescinded now as they are stroppy moody teenagers!

Well done lad. Sounds an eager beaver willing to learn, just the kind of mental fibre we need in the team.

Jogging adolescent

Two Irishmen were standing at the base of a flagpole, ( looking up.) A blonde walks by and asked them what they were doing. Paddy replied, 'We're supposed to be finding the f-n' height of this flagpole, but we don't have a f-'n ladder.' The blonde took out an adjustable spanner from her bag, loosened a few bolts and laid the flagpole down. She got a tape measure out of her pocket, took a few measurements, and announced that it was 18 feet 6 inches. Then, she walked off. Mick said to Paddy, 'Isn't that just like a blonde! We need the f-n' height - and she gives us the f-n' length.'

I answered a knock on the door over the weekend, to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner. 'Good morning,' said the young man. 'If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners.' 'Go away!' I said. 'I haven't got any money!', 'I'm broke!' and proceeded to close the door. Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed wide open. 'Don't be too hasty!' he said. 'Not until you have at least seen my demonstration.' And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto my hallway carpet. 'If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, I will personally eat the remainder.' I stepped back and said, 'Well I hope you've got a f****** good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of broke did you not understand?'

Bring back the Bull............................. I take it that was yours previously?