Saint Keef

We are "officially" in a relegation battle and we are "officially" shit.

Probably Declan Rice.....he's apparently worth over £100m according to Moyes. Full credit to Moyes though for turning around that team. I for one, didn't think he had it left in him after a couple of poor stints elsewhere. I really hope that loan doesn't backfire on them...................................................ok, being honest.......I really hope it does!

So the next time he pulls on a Saints shirt, gives a 100% for the team, happens to score one of his wonder free-kicks, you will stay seated, arms folded, with a glum look on your face, thinking "That's not right......he's a Skate.....and so are his family". I bet you felt the same (if you are old enough to remember) when Bobby Stokes scored the Cup Final winner. Personally I couldn't have given a monkey's toss where he was from when he scored. I can't predict whether one day JWP will make a big move, if he does - he does, but for fuck sake we should enjoy him while he's here and if he stays forever and continues to perform well then in my eyes he'll be a legend. You obviously disagree. My point was, he might actually like playing for Saints and might want to stay. I don't like that lot down the road any more than you but I would rather he was scoring those goals for us than for them.

Can I add wanker to that? Anyway Liverpool have a much greater need - a decent centre back. Possibly someone to partner VVD when he returns. Maybe Dutch as well. Step forward Mr Wesley Hoedt. They can get him relatively cheaply........."£4.50p and he's yours"

Maybe, just maybe, JWP is happy at Southampton. He likes being club captain, he likes living in this area. I don't know enough about his personal life, but maybe his family and roots are here. I'm sure he makes a very decent living playing for Southampton (and England) and doesn't want the "bright lights big city" move. Maybe he likes the fact that he gets picked for every game, rather than warming a bench sometimes in a bigger team. Le Tiss stayed loyal and he's a Saints legend because of it. Why not JWP? Imagine if Le Tiss had moved to a bigger club - he wouldn't have been held in such high esteem here. Maybe, just maybe it suits JWP to be here.

Shit! I can't find my black arm band....... A poem....in celebration of Liverpool's demise. Klippity Klopp used to be top With Hendo his number one skipper But not any more, now they're poorer than poor Congratulations all you bin dippers.

I don't like to criticize our own players, or as some do, openly abuse them on here, but I have to finally admit he looks like a spent force. He was appalling tonight. By far our worst player. I truly lost count of the times he gave the ball away to the opposition. He offers very little in attack these days, he's a liability defending, gives away needless fouls and he definitely bottled out of a 50/50 challenge tonight, just outside their box, which if he had won could (probably not though) have led to something promising. Time to move him on methinks......if anyone would want him based on current form.

I think I noticed a couple of differences between the two teams. When we got a corner or a free kick, Everton used a tactic known as DEFENDING. When they got a corner or free kick.....WE DIDN'T. When Everton passed the ball it more often than not went to an Everton player. This obviously confused Redmond, because when he passed the ball it also went to an Everton player. Bertrand was also confused. He obviously thought we were winning, because every time he got the ball, he would stop and waste a few seconds before eventually....pause.....after a few seconds.....pause.....he would......pause......pass it backwards. Bednarek was like a fish up a chimney at right back. He looked better when he moved back to the middle. The only positives were Armstrong who I thought was our best player by a mile and I also thought Djenepo gave his all again as well. In summing up though, I think it is fair to say, it was definitely Jack Stephens' fault!!!!

The one player we are really missing is KWP. We just don't look the same threat without him. I can't criticize Bednarek too much because he's being asked to play out of position, but he looks like a fish up a chimney.

Here you go Mr Toffee. Here's our team news....hope it's of use to you..... Frank Furter Warren Peace Jimmy Jams Chuck Bricks Len Scapp Willie Shaker Lloyd Spank Tom O'Hawk Anita Bush Emma Royds Phil McCaverty Bench: Edna Clouds, Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Titch, Colin Ostomy, Rod Anline, Courtney Fish, Jack Schitt. Our manager is still Stan Dupp We were going to name Doug Owt, but he plays for your lot doesn't he?

Jankowitz or Stephens....Stephens or Jankowitz.......Jankowitz or Stephens......Let's face, whichever one it is James Rodriguez will rung rings around us. (Obviously I hope not, but.....) On a positive note, playing on a Monday night as opposed to a Friday night or midday on a Saturday......it doesn't fuck up the whole weekend if we lose.

Right! I'll get my boots out. Haven't played since about 2006, but at this rate I reckon I might get a call from Ralph. I'll do a few stretches so I'm ready......... DAMN! The groin's just gone.....oh well......

Strange......no one has blamed Jack Stephens yet. I blame Jack Stephens for that.

Very difficult to call. I'm putting my money on it not being a 0-0 Leeds on their day can destroy any defence. However their own defence is very shaky. We will create chances and just need to put them away. A seven goal thriller for me, with any combination of result.

Has it finished? Can I open my eyes yet? How did we get on? I blame Jack Stephens whatever the score. Has Ralph "walked" yet? Is Gao still the owner? I expect Redmond was rubbish was he? Have MLG and Trousers disagreed over anything today? I blame Jack Stephens for that!

We could end the loan now and bring him back but he'd probably get disorientated in the airport and catch the wrong flight, possibly to somewhere like Botswana, Bolivia or Bahrain (pick any other countries you wish) and then spend a week blaming airport authorities for his mistake...... ......anyway, he's far too good for us (in his head!)

Yep. Totally agree. I note that at half-time Arsenal are 3-0 up against Leeds........I blame Jack Stephens. Seriously - those saying McCarthy is poor should have a look at the Leeds keeper's "howlers" today. That's my three posts used up for today......but by gosh it's been fun.

We've lost a game. Cue the people on here who look for a scapegoat every week. Those of you who think we can get a better manager than Ralph are sadly deluded. Those of you who think Fraser Forster is a safer bet than Alex McCarthy must have very short memories. I'm surprised no one has yet blamed Jack Stephens today.

They say these bad decisions even themselves out over a season. The last one I can recall that went in our favour was the penalty decision at Brighton which was marginally inside/outside the box. Since then, correct me if I'm wrong - nothing. I have lost count of those that have gone against us since then. We must be owed quite a few in that case for them to even themselves out. I thought the team played well in the first half. Wolves were always going to come at us in the second half as they do with every team, but we were weathering the storm until "that decision" which when you put it against the Matt Cash "handball" and the Wolves "handball" today is just utter garbage. I am really struggling to believe that these referees are so incompetent as to keep making wrong decisions, which only leaves one other scenario........and I've said it on here before......they are, for whatever reason..... Bent! Biased! Corrupt! Call it what you want. When the decisions constantly go against a particular team, the players head's are bound to drop, particularly when you are on a bad run anyway. It doesn't matter how professional they are, to see all their hard work undone by one (or today - two) bad decisions by some twat with a whistle is bound to be disheartening. I find myself watching games now just waiting for the next ludicrous decision.

I don't like Leicester (for obvious reasons) but always nice to see Liverpool losing and it doesn't matter which team beats them. I wonder how long it will be before those wonderful, loyal, devout...... yet funny, Scouse fans start calling for Herr Klopp's head. I reckon another couple of quickfire losses and we might hear murmurings coming from those dustbins.

.......and shove his whistle up his arse. Every time he farts in bed his wife will think she's offside!

Of course the is no place for death threats, but he has now screwed up in the last three games he has officiated, with some very dubious decisions and his conduct needs to be seriously investigated. The "handball" against Villa, Romeu's "no foul" on the Villa keeper, the whole Man U debacle (no complaints over the first sending off), but the so called "offside" for Che's goal, the Bednarek sending off when it shouldn't even have been a penalty, and then the West Ham v Fulham game and Soucek's (spelling?) sending off in the last minute.....when WHU's next opponent is......Man U. I'm sort of pleased he "cocked up" in that game as well, just so it doesn't look like we are the only "victims" of his actions and therefore whingeing. I'm tempted to call it incompetence, but I honestly believe there is more to it than this. After the Villa game I posted a thing on here about possible corruption in the game concerning referees and the week in / week out dubious decision we see in various games. I didn't name any names!!! I stand by this. I hope I am wrong but part of me thinks that one day, I'll be saying "I told you so!"

Some are saying Mike Dean couldn't wait to blow his whistle for that penalty and that he blew it too early. Well I've managed to get my hands on a transcript of what really happened..... Mike Dean blows his whistle. Mike Dean's wife says "Michael dear, why are you blowing your whistle?" Mike Dean replies "I'm awarding Manchester United a penalty my dear". Mike Dean's wife says "But Michael, you're still eating your breakfast ........and it's still only Monday morning. Your game isn't until tomorrow night" Mike Dean replies "Ohhhh but I love Manchester United". (stamping his feet in a tantrum) Mike Dean's wife "I know you do dear.....I know you do, but you'll have to wait until tomorrow night". Mike Dean "Oh ok, but I'm going to send some Southampton players off, particularly those with names I have trouble pronouncing......like Jankowristwatich and Bendynarek and people like that". Mike Dean then takes out his red card from his red and white "Manchester United pyjamas" jacket pocket.....(that his wife bought him for Christmas) "Have you seen my red card. It's great isn't it. Just like me. Great. Great. Great." Mike Dean's wife "Yes dear, it's lovely. I've told you about getting it out at the breakfast table though. Now put it away" Mike Dean then goes upstairs, changes into his referee kit and looks at himself in the mirror for 2 hours, whilst rehearsing the pulling of the red card from his pocket. Meanwhile, his wife is still in the kitchen. She tut's quietly to herself and whispers....."What a wanker". .................So there you have it. The truth has been told.........honest!

OK, I have had over 24 hours to think this over and give a reasoned and rationalised account of what I believe. ..........and so, without further ado here it is. (clears throat) Mike Dean is still a wanker. Thank you (bow and wait for applause)👏👏👏

There's not really much to smile about being a Saints fan lately, but earlier on today I read on the BBC sports page, words to the effect that Man Utd had "re-discovered their mojo" by thrashing Southampton 9-0. I smiled (nore out of sympathy for the inane item really) because frankly, one of the richest clubs in Europe (if not the richest) should be thrashing 10......and subsequently 9 men.......already in a makeshift side, missing so many first choice players (Vesty, Romeo, Diallo, KWP, Walcott etc) , with debutantes and kids playing, and a bench made up of players most have never heard of, especially when you also have your attackers diving for penalties and the referee and VAR going out of their way to help you. To be honest, a league 1 team could possibly have beaten us last night faced with the same scenario, but hey, we're the BBC and we love Man U. Wankers!