qwertyell

Sure as shit isn't going to be us.

Think it's a bit premature to be slitting our wrists over other teams' results. Ultimately, it's up to us to somehow cobble together a competitive points total - probably with about six wins - and then see where we stand in the final shake up. If we can't do that, everything else is moot.

It's a myth that Martinez's size makes him bad in the air. It's all about the leap and the timing. (6' 4" William Saliba lost EVERY single contested header against 5' 10" Ivan Toney the other week.) By the same token, from what we've seen so far Onuachu's aerial prowess is really nothing too special. Doesn't get his feet off the ground.

Well that was fucking agony. Wouldn't have flattered Leicester to have scored four or five. Their finishing was woeful. Still can't see another five - at a minimum - wins from this bunch to give themselves a chance of staying up, but at least they had a positive reaction from the midweek debacle. Charlie seems a good lad. Bit stupid - as we were warned by those that watched him in Argentina - but absolutely giving his all. Hopefully his knock responds well in the week. Midfield alternatives are thin on the ground if Elyounoussi's all we've got in reserve. Two PL wins for Selles. Already a better record than Jones. Football's just as ugly, mind. But it's wins we need, so fair play.

Not sure about these three subs. Elyounoussi's never improved the midfield, and if Walcott can't go the distance, Djenepo is at at least a proper winger - Aarmstrong is barely a footballer. Spent a lot of money on Onuachu to just leave him on the bench for a kid. Good luck, lads.

Relatively bright opening 5 minutes, but since we've completely lost our way. Men against boys now. And not boys who are good at football. At least we can't delude ourselves that we're in a false position in the league. We definitely look like the worst team around. AND THAT'S A PEN! And he's missed it. Back to your usual programming.

Orsic would have to be up there. I know he's only been here two months, but he was supposed to be the great white hope, the bargain signing that we nicked from under the noses of all the big clubs. And he's absolute mince. Slow, timid, feeble. Doesn't fancy it at all.

Can't make it make sense. He seems to have reverted to Hasenhuttl's busted flush 4-2-2-2, but without the pressing, which was the key to the tactic sporadically working. We're a confused mess. I'm not convinced there's an answer for this squad of ringers, but whatever the master plan is (if there is one), this approach has no chance. Still can't create anything from open play. Still can't defend. That's not a combination of inadequacies that lead anywhere good.

What makes you think that XI can win games, though? That back line and keeper have shipped goals for fun in the past, that midfield has created fuck all in the past, and we've so far got nothing whatsoever out of Sulemana and Onuachu - I can't even recall the big lump getting a shot away yet in his Saints career. Looks extremely limited. We've spent a lot of money assembling not much.

Well, the new manager bounce lasted longer than Jones'. And now we're back to being shocking. There's no fixing this rabble. It's fundamentally flawed: a keeper who can't make saves, defenders who can't defend, creative players who can't create, and strikers who can't score. Throw in a number of pea hearts when the going gets tough and there's not a lot there to feel positive about. If Selles keeps us even close to staying up he'll have performed a miracle.

He'll never get to personally hand me the Tyro League u15 division two champions trophy circa '93 at a swanky ceremony at the Guildhall. There are some achievements that Prowse will never top.

Realistically, I think we still need a minimum of 6 more wins. A lot to do.

Wasn't expecting anything, in a game where we aren't expecting anything - and yet still there's a sense of disappointment. Half of these guys must be amazing in training - because they sure as shit aren't showing anything in matches. If Selles gets a result with that casserole of nonsense, he really will be a magician.

Got an assist in the last game too, which I think was his first start.

We just got shot of a guy with a massive chip on his shoulder who can only play a back five...

Take all three as job sharing player managers.

Don't think he has any interest in taking a job right now. Left River Plate because he was a bit burned out and wanted a sabbatical before starting his European managerial career. Turned down Ajax a few weeks ago. Doesn't speak English. The smart money is on him taking a job in the summer in Spain (Simeone probably leaving Atletico) or France (where he played). If you don't ask you'll never know, I guess, but I'd be surprised if he turned up in England in the next few weeks.

Whenever I've seen Leeds under Marsch they've played pretty well but were terribly profligate in front of goal. Never thought they were a bad side or a disorganised rabble. Anyone who comes in now is on a hiding to nothing regardless, so getting a manager with some CL experience who knows the league and is available without the need for compensation is probably quite appealing for the board. Reassess in the summer.

Hoofball requires immediately lumping possession away as soon as possible so we can fight over the scraps, with aggression and front-footedness. It's the future, I hear. All the best managers in Europe are playing it.

Okay, we've seen a "real" Jones team now: "Hoof it to the big man and feed off the scraps." And they couldn't beat 10 men at home with a goal head start, having brought their own ref. Ward-Prowse turning down two shooting opportunities from his free kick range was certainly odd... Is that something someone might do if they didn't want the manager to succeed? Anyone kept a running tally of Bednarek's own goals? As sure as night follows day, Bendarek (o.g.) is certain to make an appearance every season. One of his most inept, to be fair - if you're going to be a fucking useless lump of gristle, might as go big. What can you do? This is what we've become under Ankersen and Kraft. Burn them all down. (Sulemana looks bright)

Are we going to see Jones's famous diamond formation that he insisted on imposing on Stoke with no sign of it ever working? Otherwise, it's a back five with Maitland-Niles in at wing back.

He did used to say tall a lot. I guess he's moved on from that since we've signed the pylon.

A mother buys her kids a pet dog for Christmas but instead of getting the Labrador they wanted instead she brings them a carved potato in the vague shape of dog. The kids don't want it because it's a vegetable.

Where's Dragan in all this? I'm not sure of the structure at Saints, but isn't he basically bankrolling Ankersen and his spreadsheet hipsters? When does he step up and start calling people to account? On the current trajectory he's been stung for around £400m for a Championship club. What a mug.

Extraordinary. Washing his hands of responsibility, while simultaneously admitting he's too weak to lead. "I've listened to people". What a quote. Should be the final word on his managerial spell here, but it won't be.